Paper Sun
by NativeWolfy
Summary: Hart didn't know what she was getting into when she fell asleep. She didn't even realize that two demons were about to turn her world upside down and thrust her into a world she had only dreamed of being in when she was younger. So how will she survive?
1. Prologue

**So I was feeling a little down and out, and this idea was swimming in my head for a while. Muse was just **_**begging **_**me to start this.**

**And thus, Hart was born. Because, you know…I've never written any of my characters as the serious types. They're…crazy and innocent.**

**But hey, this is just the beginning. And I don't know if I'm going to continue it, to be completely honest. We'll see.**

**Oh, yes. I'm rewriting **_**Into the Game**_** also.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

**_-Start Prologue-_**

She was dazed as she stared up into the face of the desire demon from a game she had been obsessed with. Eyeing the demon warily, she opted to just lie there and watch for the moment-her body feeling heavy, as though she was in-between being awake and sleep.

Her eyes strayed when she heard a distantly familiar voice chuckle. "So you finally awake, little bird." the voice was deep and husky, almost baritone-but not quite. She gave a small frown as the desire demon backed off with a amused smile on her face as she slowly moved so that she was sitting up.

"I…feel I should know you," the girl kept glancing at both of the demons, the skimpily clad demon to the demon who looked scarily familiar to her. She tilted her head to the side as they had a staring contest, almost like they were playing chicken.

"Torpor…" she muttered, the demon's name finally clicking into place as eyes narrowed again as the demon gave an amused chuckle again. "Yes, the very same." there was a certain glint in his eyes that she didn't trust. "Sloth demon Torpor. You were the demon at the Circle in Ferelden, yes?" she questioned.

"Ah, smart girl, aren't you?" he hummed as she looked around their surroundings.

"So why am I here?" she turned back to the two demons, shrugging off his choice of place. "Ah, but didn't you wish that you could be transported to this world, the world your people call…_Dragon Age_?" he questioned. Her frown deepened, "I have made that wish many times, Torpor." she said dryly.

His oddly shaped head tilted the slightest, eyebrow ridge raising. "I made those wishes _five _years ago. When I was a naïve, stupid little girl who wished for the perfect man. Who was _Anders_." she sighed in exasperation, shooting him a look as if she were asking him if he was stupid. Her eyes snapped up as the desire demon sashayed her way over to her, "But Hart, we can make it happen for you now." the demon purred her name, making the young woman roll her eyes and look away in disinterest.

"Like I said, I made those wishes long ago and have since given up." She said in a clipped tone, gritting her teeth as the female demon sat in her lap with a chuckle, nuzzling her neck. "We know, and you drove such a hard bargain for us back then also..." she cooed at Hart as she tried to get the young woman's attention, stroking her hair and nuzzling into her neck before she was pushed off harshly. "Yeah, I was a stupid girl trying to find the man of my dreams." Harted snorted before turning to give Torpor a glare. Starting when she was suddenly pushed into a chair and the female demon crawled back to her lap.

"But we can make your dreams come true now," she whispered, "We can help you survive and grow. We can make him love you, along with that foolish spirit." she added, her eyes closed and concentrating her hardest to convince Hart. "No!" She snapped, a sneer on her face. "I know better then to make deals with demons now!" she snarled.

Torpor only chuckled darkly as he slowly made his way over to the two. "You have no choice now, little bird." he hissed at her, a grin pulling at his lips.

The desire demons hands stopped traveling down her limp arms, stopping at her elbows at the sound of Torpor's voice. She pulled back to look at Hart. Eyeing the unusually cold and distance look in her eyes before giving her a sultry smile, "Seeing as we'll be seeing each other soon…" she trailed off, smiling wickedly at feeling the human stiffen. "You may call me… Sheba."

The only thing Hart heard before the female demon struck her with something was Torpor telling her that what they were doing came with a high price.

**_-End Prologue-_**

**So tell me how much you either A) Hated it, B) Liked it or C) were confused by it.**


	2. Welcome to Hell

…**I should have updated **_**Virtual Lover**_** first, to be completely honest. But I need a little more time to work on it. Big things are happening now!**

…

**Well, not **_**that **_**big. But still…**

**Anyways~**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything remotely related to **_**Dragon Age 2 **_**and never will! I will lay claim to Hart and Sheba, the desire demon though.**

**-_-Welcome to Hell-_-**

Hart stared down at the scene below her in shock. She watched dully as the Dalish elves took notice of her, stiffening when she left the tip of a dagger against her back. "What are you doing here, _shem_?" she heard the accented voice snarl behind her. She held her hands up with gritted teeth, anger spiking at the elves. _I thought they were supposed to be smart, not idiots._

She huffed, "How should I know how I got here?" she snapped, weapon less hands in full view of the elves. "All I know is that one minute, I'm-" she stopped short, mind in a whirl when she realized she shouldn't tell these elves how she got here. Least she have them think her crazy and kill her because they thought she was an abomination and blood mage. "I-uh-mean…I don't…know?" she winced. _That sounded so…inexcusable, I could have thought up a better lie, couldn't I?_

She rolled her eyes up to the sky, "I don't know how I got here…I don't even where here is," she grimaced. "Where is _here_?" she questioned, trying to make herself look as unthreatening as she could as she gestured to the camp. _Which shouldn't be hard_, she sighed, _I have no weapons, after all._

The elf behind her, she figured, was eyeing her suspiciously so she waited patiently. From what she remembered from Dragon Age, Dalish elves weren't going to suddenly trust humans at the drop of the hat.

"We'll go see Keeper Marethari, she'll know what to do with the shemlan." Hart rolled her eyes at that, but opted to just stay quiet in case they changed their minds and, you know…killed her.

She let out a yelp when she was suddenly yanked backward and push forward, stumbling from the force. "What the slag?" she cried, whipping around only to meet an arrow to the face. Scowling at the female elf, she turned back around to walked where they told her to.

She sighed softly, elves stopping to stare and then whispering as they went back to what they were doing. She listened with half an ear when she heard an elder woman's voice arguing with another female. She startled when she was grabbed by both arms as the armed elves stopped her.

She eyed the two elves in front of her as they argued. _So this is Marethari and Merrill. _She frowned as she took in Marethari's frail appearance. _I suppose she would look rather frail…but she has a rather large head_. Her brows furrowed as Merrill burst into tears before running away. Her eyes turned to the male on her right as he scoffed before she heard the female on her left speak. "Keeper, we found this shemlan on the ledge over looking the camp."

Keeper Marethari turned tired and wary eyes to her as she frowned, her grip on her staff limp. "Are you she?" she questioned, her voice surprisingly deep and loud. "What? What in blue blazes are you talking about?" Hart gave Marethari a confused look at her question. "The one Merrill has helped come here." Marethari sighed, a hand coming up to rub at her temple. "Helped come here? Lady-uh…_Keeper_ Marethari, I don't even know where _here _is." Hart said, wincing when the female elf beside her elbowed her subtly.

"You are at our camp, near Kirkwall." Marethari said, silently telling Hart's escorts to release her before guiding her someplace. Hart's eyes followed Marethari's hand as she gestured, shock filling her and her eyes widened as she saw Kirkwall. "No way…" she hissed, a hand raising to her eyes before she turned so she wasn't facing the City of Chains. "No way, no way, this can't be happening. No, I never asked for this." she whispered.

"This is only a dream, only a dream. This is only a dream and I'll wake up. Wake up…wake up…Hart, this is _your _dream. This is a messed up dream you've conjured up and you can, you _will_, wake yourself up." she whispered, hands covering her eyes as she chanted it over and over again, ignoring Marethari as she placed a hand on her shoulder.

"Oh _God_, this is real, isn't it? I'm stuck in this damn world, aren't I?" she wiped at her eyes furiously, trying to stop the tears that were threatening to fall. "I didn't want this, I stopped wanting this. I don't want to be here!" she whimpered, rocking back and forth on her feet as she pressed the heels of her hands to her eyes. "Motherfuckers! What the frag did I do to deserve this hell?" she snarled, kicking a small rock and watching as it flew away.

Hart glared down at her feet as Marethari sighed sadly behind her. "I am sorry, young one. I fear Merrill aided the two demons that brought you here," she murmured. "Demon whore," Hart sneered, grumbling about stupid, naïve mages who trusted no good demons too easily.

Marethari's shoulders sagged at her words. "It is not her fault, entirely. She…believes she is doing something good. That using…blood magic would help the Dalish take back what we've lost. I am…sorry,"

Hart groaned at her words. "I know, Keeper." she turned to her, eyes glancing behind her to see Kirkwall in all it's _glory_. "It's not your fault though, it's _Merrill_'_s_. She chose to turn to blood magic, she actually _believes_ that she could use it for good and that she's _helping_. But it's not _your _fault." Hart sighed. "But I'm here now, and what can I do? I don't control magic and I don't even know what they did."

"Be that as it may, I will try to help you." Marethari said, patting her on the arm. "I do not know how, but I will try. And I shall speak to Merrill."

"Which reminds me," Hart winced when Marethari's voice turned from comforting to questioning, with the slightest hint of threat. "I believe you tried to lie to my people…" Hart sighed, gaze settling on Kirkwall as Marethari continued to gaze at her for her answer. "I was afraid they might of killed me if I told them I had…_conversed_ with two demons before I was thrust here, because, you know…" her hands gestured to Kirkwall. "City of Chains, blood mages and demons. All of that, I know how you all view blood magic…and I really didn't want to die…"

"Plus the fact that some strange human femme would be on the outskirts of your camp didn't help. It wasn't like the two that found me would have trusted me at the drop of a hat _just _because I told them the truth, you know?" Hart shrugged. "Femme?" Marethari's face scrunched up in confusion. "Oh, right…femme means female. Sorry," Hart gestured back to camp, in the direction Merrill had run off to.

"So where'd Merrill go and what are you going to do with me? 'Cause…really, I have no where to go…"

**-_-Day One, End-_-**

**So…whatcha think? I tried to make it as long as possible, you know…drawing everything out as long as I could but really…all I had planned for this chapter was what you see. Marethari just telling her-as much as she could-how she was brought there. And…yeah…**

**Review?**


	3. The News

**So here's the next chapter to **Paper Sun**. Because, apparently, it's as high in demand as **Into the Game **and **Virtual Lover**.**

**Disclaimer: I no own, you no sue.**

**Any and all spelling mistakes are Sheba's fault! She's evil, I tell you!**

**,…;:' / \ ':;…,**

_It's already been eight months…_ Hart frowned as she gazed down at the camp she was so fearful of the last time she had been here. Scoffing softly, she ignored the sound of Merrill talking happily behind her, guessing she was reading or trying some form of magic to either help her, and that damn cursed mirror of hers.

She had given up a long time ago on trying to weasel the truth out of Marethari, on how she knew that she had tried to lie to the Dalish elves who found her. Instead of trying to get Marethari to tell her, Hart turned to the only thing else that was nagging at her.

Weapons.

She had managed to convince two elves to teach her, one a very fine archer and the other was skilful with daggers.

Both taught her after two months of pestering and pleading, but they only taught her how to use the weapons when she had saved a young girl from a wolf. Which Hart found immensely amusing, seeing as she viewed wolves as misunderstood, rather then wild creatures to be feared. She hadn't bothered to tell them of how in her world, she had played with a full grown fox and stared at a wolf ten feet from her who stared back. Hart figured they wouldn't accept it as truth and accuse her of lying, so she stayed quiet, turning a blind eye whenever one of them brought in a dead animal and focused on the lessens.

Much to Hart's disturbed amusement, she found that killing was never going to be easy for her. She found she was always plagued by guilt, the _What if's_ floating around in her head.

Like what if those bandits had families, and this was the only way they could provide for them? Or what if she was taking someone's father, mother, brother, sister, daughter or son away from loved ones? Were their intentions really as evil as it seemed, or was there something deeper in what they do-why they do it?

Marethari had tried to console her.

Merrill had tried to cheer her up with disappointing results.

All of the Dalish tried to comfort her in their own way. Only earning half hearted smiles and _I'm Fine_ as a result. They noticed, though, that with which month, she was able to hide her emotions well. Or rather, her emotion to the deaths. Hart had always been good at hiding her emotions and faking expressions when she saw fit to do so.

But they also noticed that she actually was interested in they as people and not savages or people to be feared. She openly expressed her awe, interest or pleasure at the simplest things they could do that she couldn't.

When one Dalish elf finally got fed up and asked her, the response he got was a smile and a simple explanation. "I come from people who are much like yourselves. Or, I use to. They started living as the umshi'wax do. My people have forgotten, just as yours has."

Hart had watched in amusement as the male before her tried the word, mispronouncing it as it rolled across his tongue. "No, not Ugn-Shi-Waxs. It's Um-Shi-Wa. In my language, it means 'White man'."

When he had questioned her again, she told him that elves and dwarves were not real in her world, that they were myths, with people who believed they lived freely before humans came and started ruining the forest. While other people believed that they did not exist, only serving to entertain children.

Hart nodded understandably as the male before her growled and asked how her world was so stupid. In reply-

Hart jerked when she felt a extreme heat on her leg. Yelping and cursing as she was disturbed from her thoughts, she patted out the small fire before turning to glare at Merrill. "I'm sorry! I'm so, so, _so sorry_!" Merrill wailed, tears filling her eyes.

Hart scoffed, "Just watch where you're aiming your spells next time. I'm constantly near you, remember?" she growled lowly, Merrill squeaking in surprise and relief before nodding vigorously. Muttering to herself, she moved herself behind a structure which she was almost positive Merrill couldn't destroy.

Almost.

**,…;:' /\ ':;…,**

Hart eyed the strange man in front of her with wariness. The certain look in his captivating blue eyes setting alarms off in her head as he advanced on her, and without realizing it; she was trapped between a table and him. She inhaled sharply through her nose, surprise and shame filling her once she realized what had just happened. Forcing herself to not to be intimidated by the stranger as the Fade swirled around them, she forced herself to look him in the eyes, trying to place where this man had come from and why he seemed strangely familiar.

Smiling wearily, she somewhat relaxed when she realized why he seemed so familiar and why she was experiencing the Fade much like a mage would, like she was awake and everything was real. "Torpor, you damn bastard…" her eyes narrowed at him as his handsome face morphed into amusement. Thin, attractive lips curving into a dark smirk.

"And here I thought you would not recognize me, my bird." he drawled out, eyes narrowing back at her, that damn infuriating smirk still in place. "And here I thought you'd show up as your creepy ass Justice façade," she snarled right back. Glaring at him, she refused to flinch away as his hand trailed up her arm and into her hair.

Torpor gazed into Hart's eyes as he entangled his human fingers into her chocolate brown hair, daring her to do something about it. He felt her shift against him uncomfortably as he simply stroked her hair, starting from her scalp all the way down to the ends, repeating the process as they continued to gaze at each other. Each one daring the other to go further as Hart's left hand wrapped itself around his arm, the other one clenching the black cloth covering his torso, as his hand fisted, harshly grabbing a fistful of her head and yanking her head back a little further-Hart hissing as the only sign that it hurt.

Hart finally broke their staring contest when Sheba made her presence known, "Aw, already starting without me?" Hart could see the mock pout on her lips, an exasperated sigh escaping her when she realized that Sheba also appeared human. "What, you don't like us now?" Torpor watched as Hart's eyes flickered back to him, angry grey eyes staring back into his own fake, frosty blue ones. "You mean you're idiotic human forms?" Hart snapped, filling Torpor with amusement as Sheba gave a hurt gasp.

"And here we thought it'd make you happy, seeing us appear so…_normal_," Sheba sniffed delicately as she moved so that she was standing beside them, leaning against Hart as she wrapped her arms around her neck. Torpor having backed off.

"Right," Hart deadpanned, gazing at Sheba while her arms hang limply at her sides. "After eight months of seeing you as this skimpily clad demoness, I'd be _so _happy and ecstatic to see you as _human_,"

Torpor let Hart and Sheba argue playfully as he just simply watched them. He noticed that Hart seemed somewhat relaxed around them, rather then tense and apprehensive when they had first started out. She still doesn't trust them, which Torpor secretly approved of. He detested it whenever one of his possessions trusted him after a while. But Hart, his little bird, she didn't seem to be trusting them anytime soon. His eyes trailed from her face to the floor as he thought of the days since he and Sheba had thrust her into a world she didn't want to be in.

He drifted through her memories whenever she was here with them, Sheba making the perfect distraction. He watched through her eyes as she quickly become accustomed to Dalish life for survival, how she ignored the jabs and insults as the elf Keeper, Marethari-along with her foolish apprentice-tried to find ways to help Hart get back to her own world, only to become confused and frustrated when they found absolutely nothing, and that when they did find something, the price was too costly or it was too dangerous to attempt.

He had watched as Hart learned the basics of being a rogue with one of the nicer female elves, how she would eat up the information like a blood mage would power. He watched through her eyes as she paid rapt attention to the archers, watched as she went as far as to approach one of the finest archers in the camp to request of him to _teach _her how to use a bow. And he watched as the male elf surprisingly agreed.

Torpor's eyes snapped up when he felt Hart tug on his hand harshly, a cute frown marring her plump lips.

Hart gazed at Torpor's carefully blank face, giving her his undivided attention at her insistent tugging. "Sheba said you wanted to see me for a reason," was all she said as she let go of his hand. Gazing back into Torpor's eyes, Hart tried not to think about the way he had been staring at her and Sheba as they had argued, instead focusing on the fact that she was here for an actual reason, rather then for entertainment like usual.

"They're coming," was all he said, gazing at Sheba for a moment before settling those startling eyes back on her.

Hart blinked up at him, furrowing her brow in confusion as she took in his words. "Who's coming?" she questioned, frustration lacing her words when they didn't speak further. Torpor gave her an amused smile, Sheba giggling as Hart gave them both an annoyed look. "I have no idea who you're talking about," she sighed, chewing on her bottom lip absentmindedly as she looked to the side, trying to understand his words. Hearing Torpor letting out a barely there sigh, her gaze went back to him; seeing him gaze at her in slight annoyance.

Hart only raised an eyebrow at him. "Hawke and his gang, they're coming." Torpor finally rumbled out. Hart blinked at him, a frown tugging at her lips again. "But it's only been eight months I've been here…" Hart turned to give Sheba a confused look, which made Sheba grin at her and give a shrug as her answer, a teasing glint in her unnatural violet eyes.

Torpor only nodded at her, "And this Hawk has already been here for a year and two months," he said, raising an eyebrow at Hart as her eyes gazed at him again. "Shouldn't Hawk have been here two months ago then?" she questioned, forgetting to mask her emotions as she gazed up at Torpor in confusion.

Torpor's eyes sparkled in malicious amusement. "They were…detained." he grinned at her, enjoying the way her lips thinned and she glared at him. "You did something for them not to come here as quick as they should have." His grin widened at her tone, because it was a statement and not a question. "I may have thrown a few things into their way," he said, looking at his human nails as if it was the most interesting thing in the world.

Hart bite her bottom lip as she gazed at him, running her tongue over it in a soothing way before speaking again. "And what, exactly, did you throw at them?" she asked, silently dreading the answer.

Sheba giggled from behind her, "Oh, nothing _too _serious. We only helped along some cult bent on destroying Meredith along-"

"They were destroyed."

"And we might have helped those spiders attack the dwarf-"

"And they were killed also, the situation between the Qunari and Dwarf have been taken care of, surprisingly."

"And then we _may _have helped-"

"Also taken care of."

Torpor looked absolutely bored with everything as he locked eyes with an amused Hart. "And…?" she raised an eyebrow at him as he stared at her with the most serious, cold face she'd ever seen on his face before.

"And he is surprisingly capable," Torpor sighed, clearly annoyed after Sheba and Hart just continued to stare at him. "I…would not mind you in his…" his jaw clenched, anger flashing in his eyes, "I would not mind leaving you in his company, he has proven quite…powerful." Torpor finally forced out, Hart letting out a mocking "Awww," when she realized that Torpor did not want to relinquish his hold over her.

"So nice to know you care," she said dryly, a smirk on her face before she gasped as Torpor grabbed her wrists tightly in his hands, yanking her close to him. "Just remember who you belong to, and what you need to do, little bird." he growled fiercely, eyes fixated on her face.

"Please," Hart scowled up at him, head tilted back and neck exposed as she glared up at him. "Like I can forget who my master is," she added sarcastically.

"Quick question though, is this the reason why you guys are suddenly so touchy-feely?"

**,…;:' /\ ':;…,**

**So there you go. I'm starting to throw in relationships and how Hart views things.**

**Hopefully, it'll get exciting soon.**

**Review please?**


	4. Hawke

**Are you as surprised as I am that I'm writing and updating more?**

**I am, very surprised.**

**Maybe it's because I'm happy and not all Morrigan-y these days. And school is actually enjoyable.**

**Probably because I'll be graduating this year, though.**

**Disclaimer: Really, I hold no hope of ever owning Dragon Age 2.**

**, . . . ; : ' " | / + \ | " ' : ; . . . ,**

"Yes, Torpor…you're sources were right on the bat, they're arriving as we speak. Bullshit, they aren't. I'll kick his ugly, demon ass when I see him next!" Hart snarled out at the empty scenery in front of her, ignoring the male elf behind her as he grumbled to himself about 'undead creatures' and 'stupid, traitor Firsts' over at his end of the clearing, near the blocked path leading up to Sundermount and the graveyard at the very top. "It's already been four hours…"

She turned her head to look at the shortcut that was blocked with a rock slide, her scowl darkening when she remembered Torpor's parting words before he had made her wake up.

"_Don't disappoint me, my bird…"_

"How the frag am I supposed to disappoint him or make him 'proud' when he hasn't even told me shit?" Hart muttered as she did air quotations, rolling her eyes when she heard the faint sounds of rattling of bones, the sound of magic hitting the undead and the clash of metal against metal. She ignored the pull she got as she sensed magic from three different people, only one of them familiar.

Letting out a sigh and shifting around on the ground so that she could get up, Hart walked closer toward her forced companion before stopping and leaning against a fallen beam, facing the way Merrill was more then likely going to show up, leading Hawke and whoever he brought with him.

She closed her eyes, leaning against the rock behind her as she felt the different magic in the air, clashing and exploding against each other. She felt Merrill's familiar pull from her magic, and listened to the song it sang as Merrill grew slowly closer; but didn't open her eyes when the sound of the battle finally stopped and they sped up, coming toward them at a more faster pace.

"_So, you're telling me that those weird pulls that have been bugging the hell out of me… meant I was _feeling_ a mages magic?" she questioned slowly, silently wondering if Torpor was so old that he had gone senile since the last time she saw him._

"_And hear the song each different mana sings," his baritone voice answered her in a bored monotone voice as his back was to her-faking to be going over 'papers' and 'making sure his information was correct'. "Bullshit, magic can't be _alive_! That's just…like two souls in one body!" Hart snapped. "Regardless of what your world has told you," Torpor said in that same bored, monotone voice, "Each mage's mana feels differently, all sing a different song. The key to telling them apart is easy, once you know the basics."._

She ignored the male elf as he shifted closer to her, curiosity winning over his obvious dislike of Merrill.

"What do you sense, shemlen?" he growled lowly, eyes narrowed at the pathway they faced. "Merrill is on her way, along with Hawke and two other mages." she mumbled in response. Silently trying to remember what Sheba had told her about all the different magic there was, and how she would be able to tell who was female and who was male if she concentrated enough.

She heard a rough, rolling melody and felt a violent, barely controlled magic jumping around, accompanied by a softer, flowing melody with a sweet, innocence pull. She took a guess, thinking the softer was Bethany and the rough was Anders.

"_What you have to remember, when you come into contact with someone who is possessed, is that the person who is possessed would-more then likely-have a violent feeling to it, the song would sound biting and rough. Even if that person is possessed by a virtue. That virtue con easily be corrupted and turned into a demon." Sheba said to Harts unspoken question, "Then there are other kinds, softer ones, sweet sounding. They are the ones that are true to their ways, or simply too innocent to everything around them. And then there are blood mages, yes. They are easy to find; all you have to look for is the nauseating pull you get from the mana, the violet, ugly sound of a corrupted song."_

_Sheba continued, oblivious or just ignoring Hart's questioning eyes. "But, as we were saying…All mana is different. They're not all the same. Each mage has a different pull, the song will always be different, even if it sounds the same. All mage's are like this, to sense and feel another mages mana."_

"_But the important information, to be able to tell the mana apart and be able to _sense _which is a male or female mage is the undertone to each song. Songs may all sound different, but the undertone is always the same with each sex. A male's undertone would be slightly rougher then a woman's own."_

_Sheba suddenly turned to Hart._

"_But you are different, you don't have magic. So you _shouldn't _hear or feel a mage's mana, but we have made it so. For an important reason for your survival in this world…"_

"Or Janders, which ever one fits…" she muttered, waving away the questioning look of the elf beside her as she felt Merrill's mana leap, her song getting slightly louder; telling her that Merrill had spotted her. Her suspicion only confirmed when she heard Merrill let a squeal.

"Hart!"

Finally opening her eyes, Hart wasn't shocked as she saw Hawke accompanying Merrill with Bethany and Anders following a few paces behind. She eyed the large broadsword strapped to his back, snorting in laughter when she realized the sword looked oddly enough like her fantasy broadsword. _"Black Justice, fancy seeing you here,"_ she thought, eyes sparkling in laughter before she schooled her features as their eyes landed on her.

"Finally!" the black haired elf threw his hands in the air. "You've finally come to take these two away." he shot a hateful glare at Merrill, the glare less fierce as he aimed it at Hart. "But you won't be able to take the shortcut," he growled, gesturing to the blocked pathway. "There should be another way through the caves though, that will bring us to the other side." Hart cut in, sending a withering glare the male's way as he left.

"Oh, yes…" Merrill gazed at the pile of rocks beside her in curiosity before turning to Hart with a smile on her face, "The Keeper told me you'd be up here somewhere, waiting for us." she said to Hart's questioning gaze.

"Ah," Hart turned her gaze to Hawke, offering him and his companions a polite smile. "Hello, Hawke. It's nice to finally meet you," she said, lips turning into a frown as Anders gave her a dark look. She mentally shrugged it off when she saw Hawke's suspicious look he was giving her. "Did Marethari tell you something about me?" she questioned innocently.

"Only that I was to bring you and this one-" he gestured to Merrill, "Along with me when I return to Kirkwall."

"We still haven't gotten your names. Not that it matters, of course. Take as long as you want." Anders said sarcastically, Bethany giving him a dark look at his rudeness. "You didn't tell them who you were?" Hart had an amused smile on her face as she saw Merrill flush in embarrassment. "I-I-Wha-I mean-" Hart shook her head at Merrill's stuttering.

"I-Ah…Oh, my name is Merrill. I am so sorry for not introducing myself earlier. My people don't know how to greet a shemlen." she giggled nervously. "I wasn't sure what to say," she added meekly, twiddling with a feather on her staff, eyes on the ground as though there were something interesting there.

Hart let out a small chuckle at Merrill's display.

Suddenly feeling someone's gaze on her, she turned her head only to catch the eyes of Hawke. "_Nice eyes…never made a Hawke with grey-blue eyes before…_" Hart thought, eyes straying to Bethany in curiosity only to find sky blue eyes staring back. _"Must take after the father. I've never seen Leandra with grey-blue eyes before."_

"Hart." she said, a sigh leaving her lips in exasperation when Hawke jerked back, Bethany and Anders looking back behind them along with Hawke, as though they were trying to see if there was an actual heart behind them.

"My _name _is Hart," she chuckled, Merrill letting out a few giggles that was interrupted by aq hiccup from trying to hold in her laughter.

"Oh…" a sheepish look crossed Hawke's face as Bethany showed relief and Anders scowled.

"My name is Nigel, this is my sister Bethany and one of our…companions, Anders." He said, gesturing to each person as he said their name. Hart plastered on another polite smile, "Hello Bethany, Anders." she nodded as a greeting.

"Do you know the way to the graveyard?" Merrill questioned, "I think I might get us lost…" she added quickly when she saw Hart blink at her in confusion.

Shaking her head, Hart let out a sigh. "Yes, I do. I wasn't up here for four hours doing absolutely nothing, after all." she said nonchalantly as she gestured upwards toward a less obvious trail. "If we hurry, we can get up and through before nightfall…depending on if we run into corpses and spiders, of course. It is, after all, close to sunset." she added as they started up the mountain side.

"How do you know to come this way?" Bethany questioned, "This trail doesn't look very, well, traveled."

"Well…when we saw the rockslide, we couldn't move it all on such short notice. So a couple of the Hunters and I scouted around the mountain, trying to find another way. Fortunately for us, we found this way just in time." Hart answered, waving her hand up above them. "Beware though, some of the places here are slippery before of an unknown water source we haven't found yet."

"Oh…"

Hart's lips curved into a small smile.

**, . . . ; : ' " | / + \ | " ' : ; . . . ,**

**Working on the next chapter to **Virtual Lover **so don't worry, dear readers. It will be updated soon. Probably tomorrow, if the Muse decides she doesn't want to leave me, like she's contemplating to now.**

**Also, a Transformers and Mass Effect story may be born…not sure yet, I might miscarriage them…**

**I feel strange wording it that way lol**

**Anyways, review please!**

**Oh, and Nigel's name isn't Nigel, like how you'd say Angel. It's like Nih-Gell, like how you'd say Geth in Mass Effect, Nigel.**

**I can explain further, if you're still confused...or try to, anyways.  
><strong>


	5. Flemeth

**Holy blue blazes in hell. My mind was just fragging killed. By math, fractions to be exact. I hate fractions.**

**Fractions kill my brain…!**

**Math in general kill my brain, in fact. Numbers, I cannot work with, which makes me wonder how I'm gonna do as a lawyer, cop or secretary or something. Really…**

**So I've turned to this to try get my brain up to stuff and actually working instead of being that one insane person that's in the padded room, in a straight jacket just staring at the wall.**

**Disclaimer: No own, no sue. No complaining! Yay! Also, **_**She's dangerous, super fast **_**and **_**Hypnotized by her good looks **_**comes from **_**Gold Digger **_**by **_**Ludacris ft Bobby V & Lil' Fate**_** which I don't own, either.**

**, . . . ; : ' / She's dangerous, super fast \ ' : ; . . . ,**

Nigel Hawke was silently contemplating the human archer in front of him, the strangeness of a full blooded human in a camp of Dalish elves bringing up a few emotions inside of him, especially given the fact that he had met a Dalish mother back in the Alienage, begging him to find her half-human son who was a mage.

Emotions like curiosity, unease, suspicion and frustration.

Curiosity because of the very _fact _that the Dalish were willing to let someone like her to stay with them, because really, why is she so special? Why do they let her stay. And what was up with her clothes?

Unease because of the unknown reason why they were letting her stay. Like 'What if she has something over them?' or 'Is she possessed?' and another-ludicrous and strange- question, 'Was she _adopted_ by them?'.

Suspicion because she was something unknown, possibly dangerous and could be keeping a secret or plotting _something_ because no human was with the Dalish without reason, or the Dalish wouldn't keep her or send her and the Keeper's First-someone that sounds almost as important as the Keeper herself!- with him to Kirkwall.

Which only leads him to frustration because he _doesn't know anything_. Because he could be completely wrong or right in the market.

But he doesn't want to ask, because he doesn't want Anders or Bethany to pry in. And he certainly doesn't want them arrested or anything if Aveline overhears something he doesn't want her to.

So he ignores Anders piercing glare on the back of his head, he looks away from Bethany's questioning eyes. And tries, really tries, to ignore Aveline's narrowed, suspicious eyes after explaining that Keeper Marethari had told them that their mission wasn't over yet, and that they had to go all the way up to an Elvin graveyard to do some ritual with the amulet and then they'd be done.

Oh, and that Keeper Marethari told them that the people who would be accompanying them would be a-unknown until right then-_human _archer and her First-who would do the ritual-to her after she catches up to them.

His mind strayed back to the Dalish mother and what she had told him of the Dalish. Of how they had cast her out and turned their backs on her for bearing the child of a shemlen. And how she was forced to live in the Alienage and raise her son by herself, how she had written her sons father in hopes of something.

"What's wrong, Nigel?" he startled at finding the archer beside him. Eyeing her suspiciously he watched as her lips turned up in amusement and her green-blue eyes sparkled as she silently laughed at him, as if already knowing the answer and just wanting it hear his reply.

She looked taken aback at his sudden snarl, "What's it to you, wench?"

"Wench? Who the hell are you calling a wench, churl?" she snapped, a glare making her once lovely eyes ugly before she growled at him-actually growled!-before leaving his side to walk beside Merrill again.

"What did you _say_ so her?" he heard Bethany demand quietly after a awhile of uncomfortable silence. "Because, really, all it looked like to me was her trying to be _friendly _and then you go and say something that upset her," she added as she glared up at him, disappointment in her blue eyes.

He opened his mouth to reply before closing it again, mind replaying her question in his mind.

_What's wrong, Nigel?_

And he realized why he was so pissed off at her. It wasn't the question itself, or the emotions of amusement and laughter that he saw in her face. It was the way she said it, it was because she sounded so much like _Carver _when she said it why he snapped.

"I…don't know?" he shrugged half heartedly with a wince after Bethany dug her staff into his foot after a pregnant silence from him. "Don't know? You're just not telling," she huffed.

"Son of a bitch…"

His head snapped up at the archers words, surprise filtering into him. He noticed how she was suddenly edging away from Merrill as she muttered to herself, causing Aveline to turn her suspicious eyes from the archer that was now beside him to Merrill.

"Oh dear," he heard Merrill say as she looked up at the rippling barrier in front of them. "Well, I can get this down, can you stand back for a moment?" she asked, glancing back at them. "We should do as she says, _Hawke_." the archer muttered to him, a small glare directed at him.

"What is she going to do?" Anders asked, suspicion in his voice as even as they watched Merrill muttered some more before taking out a dagger and cutting her wrist.

"She's a blood mage!" he heard Bethany gasp from behind him as disgust filled him.

He heard the archer beside him curse and swear as she glowered at the smaller female in front of them. "Did you really have to use blood magic? Couldn't have a simple _dispel _have worked better?"

"Oh…" Merrill's doe eyes blinked as she considered that idea. "I hadn't thought of that…it might have worked, I think." she mused.

"Oh God, kill me now…"

"You're a blood mage! Don't you know blood magic is _bad_?" Anders exploded, hands clenched into fists, his staff falling down to the ground ion his anger as he glared at Merrill.

Merrill suddenly looked offended, "Blood magic is not bad! Simply…misunderstood. Demons are the same as other spirits of the Fade." she said, which in turn make the woman next to him scoff. "Right, let's _all _have a nice chat with demons! 'Hello, Pride demon! How are you today?', 'Oh, very fine today, thank you. I had just finished possessing and eating someone.' Raw." she snapped, making Merrill look hurt.

Aveline, to his unease, was deathly silent as she observed everything.

"Given your circumstances, I would have thought you were on my side!" Merrill cried, stomping her foot as she glared. The female next to him gave Merrill a deadpan glare, "Let's just get this bloody mission over with so that we can leave this Godforsaken place," she hissed, glaring behind Merrill into the graveyard.

"What were you two arguing about?" Nigel grabbed the archers arm before she could leave, Merrill going on with Anders and Bethany in tow, the last two mages now being wary of her. "None of your concern, as it doesn't involve you!" her eyes narrowed on him before she yanked her arm away to catch up with Merrill.

"I told you we shouldn't have listened to the Keeper." Aveline said as she gazed at Merrill and the archer argue quietly together as they waited for them to catch up. "You also said we shouldn't have Isabella and the escaped slave, Fenris, join our band of misfits and look at where we are." he drawled in reply.

"This is different, Hawke. And you know it," she said, serious eyes turning form them to him. "We didn't know what they were to begin with. Now we know this First, Merrill…she's a blood mage. But we don't know who Hart is, or what she can do yet." she added. "Is that her name?" he muttered, eyes narrowed as Hart snapped at a comment Merrill made, Anders and Bethany looking startled.

"Who, the elf or the archer?"

He laughed, "That's what I've been calling her all along. Archer…what a strange name, Hart." he mused before shaking his head. "Let's just…get this over with. No use trying to deny or drawl out the inevitable."

Aveline gave him a hard look, clearly seeing through his thinly veiled attempts at trying not to have this conversation before she followed them into the graves.

He could still feel her eyes on him as Merrill did the ritual, elvin words spoken as she cast some kind of magic, Hart standing farther back then he would have liked but he was unwilling to make her stand with them.

To say he and everyone else was surprised as a female started to appear as Merrill dear nearer to the end of the ritual would have been an understatement. What should have shocked him was Hart and Merrill staying unaffected, yet oddly didn't.

"Hm," Flemeth stood before them, observing where she was as Merrill let out a strangled gasp before bowing as Hart scoffed, but stepped forward as if trying to get a better look at her.

Flemeth suddenly looked at Merrill with an amused look on her wrinkled face. "Do you know who I am, girl?" she raised a white eyebrow down at Merrill, making the girl flush in excitement but remain respectful, "Only by reputation, Ash'ibellanar." she mumbled. "If you do not know me, then stand." Flemeth said, Merrill straightening up form her bow with an awed, flushed face as she tried to contain her excitement.

Nigel sensed, more then saw, when Flemeth turned her attention to him. "And here I thought you would have sold the amulet, maybe even left it." she mused as she smirked darkly at him. "I only tried selling it," he replied back, refusing to give Flemeth the satisfaction of seeing him scared. "But they wouldn't buy it…probably because there was a _witch _inside of it." He added, grinning at her in feigned innocence as she laughed.

"Ah, you sound like my Morrigan." she chuckled before she turned away from him to look at Hart behind them. "Well, hello there, _bird_." Flemeth grinned darkly at Hart, Nigel noticed, as Hart bristled in anger. "How is your stay here, if you mind me asking." she drawled, actually looking interested.

"It's the worst time of my life," Hart snapped back, a glare on her face as she scowled. "Ah, that's too bad…I _did _happen to give the demon helpful information." Flemeth chuckled, eyes sparkling in malicious mirth as Hart cursed her out as she stomped her way up to Flemeth, getting into her face before hissing, "Then you will _help _me get back!"

"Oh, no. _Little bird_…that will be entirely up to you. The answer is here, you know it is, I know you can _feel _it. I _know_ you can sense it, deep inside." Flemeth chuckled before smirking at Hart, "It is right under your nose…all you have to do is open your eyes and _see_." she added before pushing Hart away from her person and turning to the edge of the cliff, rolling her shoulders and letting out a sigh.

"Hart shall explain everything you question, Hawke. All you have to remember is this…"

Flemeth turned to look at him, her strange eyes staring straight into his grey ones.

"When you see the change, sense the chance…you leap, and _take _it. Because life doesn't wait for anyone," before she was morphing in front of them before she was up into the darkening sky, a large purple dragon leaving unearthed dirt and thrown grass as she leapt.

"Nice advice from a dragon," he rolled his eyes before turning to look at the fuming female beside him.

"_What _exactly was that about?" he asked, eyes narrowed at her as she watched Flemeth fly away before turning to him with a growl. "I'll explain later…now, I'll answer your questions." she snapped.

"We should ask questions as we leave," Bethany said, coming toward them and tugging Nigel away from Hart as she turned to look back at the setting sun. "Especially since we're still looking for Fenaryl." she added to his obvious expression, his hand falling to his side and mouth closing as he glared half heartedly at his sister.

"We should, Merrill still has packing to do and if we want to make it to Kirkwall before the storm comes…well, you get the message." Hart spoke up from beside them as she turned her back on the setting sun.

"What storm?"

Hart gave him an amused look, "You can't smell the change in the air, or see the obvious storm clouds?" she raised an eyebrow at him as she pointed behind them, causing him to turn to see the dark clouds rolling through the sky and coming towards them at an alarming rate.

"When did-"

"Awhile ago, before we got here." she said, near the exit as they rushed to catch up to her.

"How did Flemeth get herself into the amulet?" Bethany asked, trying to ignore the storm clouds and getting Nigel back to the questions rolling around their heads.

"That wasn't _all _of her. Just a small piece," Hart shrugged, letting out a sigh as Merrill rushed up to her side, her slightly smaller hand catching hers. She turned amused eyes to her as she shifted her hand so that their fingers intertwined before her attention was quickly brought back to Hawke.

"A small piece of herself? Was she just an illusion, or something else?" Aveline spoke up, giving their hands a suspicious look. "To quote Flemeth, 'Why can't I be in two places instead of just one?'." Hart said, shrugging at their confused looks. "I can't remember her exact words, but let's just say she has been alive for a long time, and thus knows things people _shouldn't _know."

"Why didn't she just come here herself then?" Anders asked, a biting tone to his voice as he glared at her. "She had…an appointment to keep." Hart frowned, ignoring Merrill as she tugged on her hand in a silent question.

"What kind of appointment?"

Hart suddenly looked conflicted, as if wanting to answer him truthfully but unsure if she should. "I'm not sure I should answer that, really. If I wasn't there, and you had asked her…well, she wouldn't have answered. So I guess she doesn't want you to know," Hart said slowly, as if really considering her words.

"What do you mean, if you weren't there?" Aveline's suspicion leaked into her voice as Nigel eyed her curiously. "What I mean is…I knew what would have happened if I wasn't there, and also know she would have answered your questions less then I."

Hart's eyes suddenly snapped behind them as a crack of thunder suddenly boomed, flashes of blue exploding here and there as the storm grew steadily nearer as they came closer to the Dalish camp.

"We should hurry, if we want to find shelter before the storm." Hart said, her pace quickening as Merrill squeaked in fright, edging closer to her as they rushed toward the Dalish camp.

_God help me, I hate this._ Hart clenched her teeth in anger, eyes narrowed as the storm was unleashed on them, her and Hawke in front of the group and Merrill clinging to her arm as they rushed toward Kirkwall.

"We should have stayed for the night, or at least until the storm passed!" Hart shouted at Hawke, annoyed as he turned to look at her. "No, we _couldn't _have." He shouted back to her, their voices barely heard over the storm as it raged.

"Stupid, stubborn man." she growled to herself lowly as her arm shot out and grabbed a hold of Bethany's arm, stopping her in midfall.

"Thank you!"

_They'll be the death of me, I fucking know it. _Hart snarled as she glared at Anders, the man hadn't even known her for three hours and he already hated her for the simply fact of Merrill and the questioning things Flemeth had said.

_Yes, Janders. I can so see the Justice in you. _She grumbled to herself as she caught the blurred, barely there, outline of Kirkwall in the distance as dirt, grass and sand turned into rocks and buildings, the entrance of Kirkwall coming up.

_Yeah, Hawke's band of misfits will be the death of me._

**, . . . ; : / Hypnotized by her good looks \ : ; . . . ,**

**Uh…yeah, nothing to say, really.**

**Only this:**

**Yay, 2841 words!**

**Cause this is as long as it's gonna get. I tried to draw it out as long as I could but really…well, I didn't try.**

**Blame math! Math did this!**

**Anyways, review please?**


	6. Secrets

**I…cannot say what I was thinking as I wrote this chapter.**

**Disclaimer: I seriously, **_**highly**_**, doubt anyone could be the owner of Dragon age and still be writing fan fictions and I don't own _Wonderland _by _Natalia Kills,_ So no me gusta…**

**And I'm dead tired…so this may not make sense, really.**

**, . . . ; : / ' Don't want the stilettos ' \ : ; . . . ,  
><strong>

Hart gave Varric a tight smile as the storm raged outside, instead of bringing them to Hawke's house-which, really, she had to admit, would have been a stupid idea- Hawke had brought them to the Hanged Man, and dropped them off at Varric's room, with him telling Varric very clearly that they were a blood mage and a 'potentially dangerous archer'.

He had left after that, promising that tomorrow they'd talk some more. Or, in their case, Hawke would question Hart to his hearts content while she tried to answer to the best of her ability.

Meaning she'd give him very little details for being such a damn bastard.

Currently, Merrill was fast asleep and resting her head in her lap as she sat on the floor. Varric had given them a thick blanket and two other blankets, Merrill admiring them before spreading it out on the ground and busied herself as Hart had the _civil_ discussion with Hawke before he left.

Which left her here, Varric sitting at his table in clear view of her, while she had a clear view of him and he was currently trying to guess her story, as he decided he might as well have gotten some entertainment out of her instead of trying to pry it out.

So she had silently agreed to him as he started firing questions and guesses off, her dismissing them or acknowledging them.

"Are you from another world, perhaps?" he asked sarcastically, after asking where she was from and getting no answer.

"You could say that…" she finally muttered, Varric having stopped to stare at her with an amused look on his face before it was replaced with a shocked and slightly insulted look at her answer.

"You cannot expect me to believe that,"

Hart only gave him a deadpan look, as he frowned at her. "Believe it or not, I'm not from here." she gestured around them lazily. "Ah, you mean you're not from Kirkwall! You don't look Fereldan, and you don't look Orlais…are you from Starkhaven- No, Antiva?"

"…must be the Italian in me why you think of Starkhaven," Hart said dryly, giving Varric an amused look as Merrill muttered in her sleep before shifting around to hug Hart around the waist lightly before settling down back to sleep. "Or the small accent, I'm not picky…"

Varric mulled over her words as her fingers combed through Merrill's hair softly, head tilted back as she looked up at the ceiling. She _did _have a slight accent, he couldn't quite tell what it was though.

"Who are your 'people'?" Varric tilted his head, looking at Hart's features as she contemplated telling him, eyes slowly looking at Varric instead of the ceiling. "Both of my parents are Native, but my mother has a grandfather who's Italian, so I'm Native with a little bit of Italian." she finally shrugged, lounging on the makeshift bed and using the wall as support.

"Or was it Native and a quarter Italian?" Hart mumbled to herself, contemplating before she was interrupted by Varric. "I've never heard of anyone named coming from this Naytive _or _Eetaleann."

She let out a huff that sounded like she was trying not to laugh, "So are you sure, because I think you're trying to lie," Varric raised an eyebrow as he rested his chin on his fist, Hart giving him an amused smile.

"I think the people who can represent the Native people best are the Dalish, although none of my people live out on the road, nor do they care as much about the forest." Hart appeared thoughtful as she said this, ignoring Varric as he sighed and muttered about "Another half blood…".

"And the Etaliann?"

"Ah…" her brow furrowed as she gave him an amused look, "The closest would be Antiva, obviously."

"And what makes you say that?" Varric leaned back into his chair, appearing relaxed and at ease. "Have you heard an Antivan?" Hart tilted her head to the side, her short hair barely brushing her shoulders as she and Varric had a stare down. "Yes, they are rather…exotic,"

"If you're talking about the fact that they sound like they ooze romance and deception, then yes."

"And Antiva is the closest to this Etaliann you speak of?" Varric watched as Hart snorted in laughter before her hands came up to muffle the sound of her laughing. "No, not Etaliann. It's _Eh-Tall-E-Uhn_. Like how you'd say An-Ti-Vah or Or-Lay. It sounds weird I know, and the spelling is…I-T-A-L-I-A-N."

**, . . . ; : / ' I'm not, not Cinderella ' \ : ; . . . ,**

Nigel sat at Varric's large, lavish table-he was currently ignoring the fact that it was small compared to him and he looked ridicules sitting at it- as he was currently having a stare down with Hart as she leaned against the wall, her eyes gazing into his own with the most blank, bored look on her face.

But there was one thing he noticed, he noticed her eyes. He was wrong when he thought they were a green-blue. They were the most interesting looking blue he had ever seen. It was a light blue- like an icy blue, or maybe like the brightest blue sky on a sunny day- he supposed he had just thought they appeared to be a green-blue due to being tired from running around all day yesterday, only to be dragged to Sundermount by Bethany.

And they were so vivid, such a bright colour that it was actually a little unnerving, being stared at with the piercing eyes trained on him.

"You said you were going to question me more when you got here, Hawke." He almost jumped at the sound of her speaking up, but restrained himself in time and tried to give her a cool, uninterested look in return to her bored one.

"I will but Anders has questions, as does Varric. He told me you said some…interesting things and wanted to be here when we questioned you." He silently watched her as she laughed, obviously finding something funny in what he said. "Interesting? They were merely mundane things, nothing of interest." she shook her head in amusement.

"Mundane? You told Varric that you were from another world, that you are a…Naytive and Etaliann-" Nigel made a face as he tried to pronounce the names properly, only to have Hart snort before she came over to sit beside him, using the table as a seat.

"It's N-A-T-I-V-E. Like how you'd say 'Ferelden is his _native _land' and like I told Varric last night, it's I-T-A-L-I-A-N, _Eh-Tal-E-Uhn. _They're like the…Antivans." she said, one arm supporting her as she made shapes and did air quotes in the air with her other hand.

Nigel gazed at Hart's face to try and see if she was lying, but it was a hard thing to do considering the fact that her expression and eyes were guarded and wary, as if she was expecting something bad to happen any minute or something to pop out of no where.

He finally sighed, gripping the bridge of his nose as he closed his eyes.

"They're coming back," Hart said idly, breaking the silence as she leaned back on her arms casually, her piercing blue eyes lazily locked with his when they snapped open. "Who're coming back?" he demanded harshly, the chair practically flying across the room from the force of him standing up so fast.

"Who else, _bosh'tet?_ I'm talking about Varric, Merrill and _Anders_." she had an amused look on her face as Nigel glared down at her, annoyance clear in his eyes.

He continued glaring at Hart even when Varric entered the room and said a hello, ignored Anders as he shuffled by with a tired 'Hello', finally looking away from Hart when she sat up and braced herself on the table just in time as Merrill squealed, saying "I'm so glad you're finally awake!" as she practically tackled Hart.

"You're _always _happy to see me," Hart let out a sigh as Merrill finally relinquished Hart from her grasp, moving to sit on the bed made of blankets.

When Hart finally moved her attention from Merrill, she turned to face Nigel, Anders and Varric, sitting cross legged in front of them and on the edge of the table. "So…" she raised an eyebrow as Nigel looked annoyed.

"What's your name?"

Hart tilted her head, an amused smile on her lips as she looked at Anders. "I thought Merrill would have told you that by now," she said. "I thought you'd like to introduce yourself, so I said nothing!" Merrill said cheerfully from behind her.

"Hmm…" Hart hummed, actually looking like she was thinking about giving them her name. "My name or my _full _name? Because I know you don't even though his-" she pointed at Anders, "real name, nor do you know Isabella's last name, or…you know…Fenris' real name, for that matter. So it's just _Hart_." she gave Nigel a cheeky grin at his low growl.

"But I'm guessing you guys also want to ask questions like which nation I belong to, where I come from, am I a threat and who am I?" she said, voicing the thoughts in their minds for them. "But I'll make this a little easy for you."

"You can call me Hart, I'm not from around here and most likely won't know and never will find out unless I tell you. My heritage, my background and everything else is my business, not yours, and no, I'm not a threat to you unless you make me into one. So I have no reason to kill you, betray you or sell you out." she looked pointedly at Nigel and Anders when she said this.

"So now that I've said that," she sighed, as though this was exhausting for her. "I figure you're wondering about Flemeth. One, I _don't _know her; I know _of _her. Two, I will not answer questions like 'Where is she from', 'What is she', 'Who is this Morrigan she was talking about' and 'Where is she now' because _I don't know_. Three, you won't see her anytime soon. This I actually do know. And…well, I still won't tell you what her 'appointment' was…" Hart trailed off, looking like she was thinking about anything else.

"No…I think that covers everything. Because I can think of no more things, and yes, you did lose the privilege to question me like Varric did last night. No amount of pestering will make me talk unless I want to. So are we good? Because we really need to find a place to live."

"But you didn't even really _tell _us anything!" Anders stood up, anger clear in his eyes.

"Oh, I know. But that's what earning trust and loyalty is about, being able to have someone tell you all their secrets so you can stab them in the back later on in life," Hart shrugged as she hopped off the table.

"No, he's right. You didn't tell us anything. We deserve to know after-" Hart cut Nigel off mid rant as she slammed her hands down on the table. "You don't _deserve_ anything. You sure as hell don't deserve to know everything about me because you're a total stranger! You think I'm going to spill out all my nasty secrets or revenge missions or gossip with you right away, just like that because you _tell _me to?" She was snarling at them.

"Because that's not how I work. You need to _earn _my trust, you need to make me believe you and get my loyalty. You're supposed to earn what you want from me because _nothing is free_!" she shouted, breathing hard as she trembled from trying to control her anger.

"So no, _Hawke_. You don't deserve to know everything because the world doesn't revolve around you. No body bows down to you because you're better then everyone else. You need to work, you need to be able to make people believe in you and trust you. And that's what you have to do with me. I'm not going to tell you _everything _I am just because you want me to." she snapped, turning in her heel and storming out with Merrill following her.

"You really shouldn't have blown up at him like that, I mean. He was sort of nice to us and-" Merrill stopped talking when hart held up a hand. "But you realize what I said was true, right? It took four months of the eight months I was with you guys for you to fully win me over and that was you actually trying."

Merrill looked thoughtful as they continued walking away from the Hanged Man. "Well…yes. We called you shemlan because only the Keeper knew your name and you told her you didn't want it to be common knowledge and none of us found out until a month later…" Merrill trailed off, realizing Hart's point.

"I still think you should have been a little nicer to him…he did bring us here."

Hart let out a sigh and pinched the bridge of her nose. "How about this, next time we see them. I'll try and play civil. But it's _not_ a promise." She gave Merrill a hard look as she beamed at her.

**, . . . ; : / '**** I don't need a knight, s****o baby ' \ : ; . . . ,**

"Kirkwall will be the death of me…" Hart sighed as she gazed up at the small house they had bought. It was not ideal, but at least they weren't living in the Alienage like Merrill was supposed to.

The unfortunate thing was that they lived across from Gamlen's house, and that meant seeing Hawke daily.

"Maybe Torpor will have pity on me and kill me in my sleep or send me back home," she mumbled as she walked up the steps, ignoring Hawke when she saw him out of the corner of her eye and continued walking into their new house.

_Hart stared at the poster covered wall in front of her. It looked exactly like how her old room looked back when she was seventeen in her parents basement. The part of the wall that you actually could see that wasn't covered by posters of all kinds was purple_

_She was imaging the four poster bed with the lavender see through curtains as she caressed a part of it in her hand that clashed with her queen sized bed with the Spider-Man blanket and Batman pillows with her favourite sayings and lyrics taped to the headboard._

_There was a decent sized TV on the other side of the room with a game system hooked up to it. There were the Transformers on the bookshelf that was littered with all kinds of books along with games here and there._

_She bet if she looked up, the glow in the dark stars and planets would be there too along with more posters and writings she put on all the walls and the ceiling._

"_It's strange, isn't it? To be where everything all began." Torpor's voice rumbled, as she felt the bed behind her sink as he and Sheba sat down on it, heard Sheba as she let out a purr of approval of the softness of her Spider-Man blanket._

"_To be in the room I grew up in? Yeah, it feels like…coming home but I _know _this isn't home. It just doesn't feel right," Hart pulled herself put off the ground to face them._

"_I can't hear my brother upstairs listening to his metal music, I can't hear my mom watching her TV shows, or my dogs running around playing." She blinked back tears, "And I can't hear daddy calling me because we were supposed to be working on my Impala together…this just doesn't feel right…I can't feel any emotions, I don't feel _safe_ like I normally would…"_

_His violet eyes were staring into hers as they gazed at each other. He was waiting for her to catch onto what he said, and hiding his amusement from her. He had already told Sheba how he thought Hart was going to act, how much she had changed since the last time._

_All they had to do was wait now as she started putting the pieces together for herself._

**, . . . ; : / ' take off all your armor ' \ : ; . . . ,  
><strong>

**Can you be honest with me, do I swear a lot?**

**I don't know **_**how **_**but my relatives found this, and went all crazy on me saying I **_**swore**_** a lot and to stop.**

**I don't think I swear a lot. I mean, I don't swear in every sentence like some people I know.**

**I don't go all "MotherF****er should just go to hell and ******* die and ***********"**

**You know, it's not like I swear excessively…**

**Meh, anyways. Enjoy, and it kind of looks like it doesn't make much sense to me.**

**Oh, and the ramblings are kind of necessary. Except for Nigels notice of Hart's eyes…it wasn't supposed to be that long…**

**Oh, and I realize Torpor's eyes changed colour. It's for a reason that I can't explasin yet but you'll get why in future chapters.**

…**review, please?**


	7. Return to the Dalish

**Sebastian will actually be speaking Scottish, as in, I will be putting actual words in here indicating he's Scots. Because I've read so many stories where Sebastian is speaking English, when he's Starkhaven(Meaning Scottish to me) and I actually have no idea how Sebastian really is, as I don't have the downloadable content with him so…**

**Yeah, this is my version of Sebastion.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, only Hart and Sheba.**

Hart rubbed her face in tiredness as she sat on the stairs leading to the Chantry. When Hawke had stopped her and practically forced her to accompany him because Isabella couldn't for _some_ reason. She rolled her eyes before leaning back and looking up into the bright sky, the suns beaming rays of heat hitting her as she sat there.

She completely ignored Anders as he tried goading her into talking or losing her temper as she had not lost it once in the four weeks she had been with them. Fenris seemed okay with her, a little wary and guarded but he was like that with everyone.

"Makers Breath, how long is Hawke going to be in there?" Anders grumbled, unease coming off him in waves at being so close to the Chantry.

"For all that is Holy!" Hart growled and stood up, turning to face Anders and pretending not to notice Fenris as he raised his eyebrows in surprise and amusement. "Why don't you go inside and ask him? Because you've been asking that same question for the past 20 minutes! It's _only_ been 20 minutes." she huffed at his annoyed look he was giving her.

"It's not like its been days, and we've been camping out here, has it?" she raised an eyebrow, drawing a quiet chuckle from Fenris and a growl from Anders.

"Well, I'm _sorry_ that-"

"Now, now lovers…let's not start murdering each other in front of the Chantry. I'd hate losing my only healer." Hawke's sarcastic voice reached them, making Anders shut up and silently seethe while Hart stared disinterestedly up at him and the new person-ignoring the insult directed at her-come down the stairs to them.

"Found someone to add in this rag-tag group, have we now?" she raised an eyebrow, eyeing the new person. "Nice to see you, Seb." he tilted his head in a greeting to her acknowledgement. "Aye, a pleasure tae see you so soon, Miss Hart."

"The pleasure is all mine, _Prince_." there was a teasing glint in her eye as Sebastian stared at her in mock exasperation as he tried fighting the smile trying to work its way across his lips.

"Wait, you _know_ him?" Anders sounded incredulous as he and Hawke stared at them in amazement. Sebastian turned cool eyes to Anders, eyeing him before answering, seeing as Hart didn't look like she would. "Aye, she helped me. An' has bin visitin' ever since," he replied.

"Helped with what, exactly?" Hawke narrowed his eyes at the too-casual Hart lounging on the wall. "With a personal mission he wanted to accomplish, what else?" she raised her eyes up to him, her eyes screaming 'What else, stupid?' at him.

Hawke bristled at her answer, "_You_ took my job!"

Sebastian gave Hawke a sideways glance that held amusement as Hart stared up at Hawke, silently wondering if he had short term memory. "I took no damn job of yours, I _showed_ it to you, yes, but you said that 'it wasn't important and that some pretty boy was just being overdramatic'." she watched as his fists shook and his face turned red as he tried to control his anger.

Anders seemed wary, because he knew how Hawke got when he lost his temper and Fenris was merely being a silent bystander, observing how someone like Hart would be anywhere near someone like Nigel.

"You bitch! I _told_ you I was going to do the job! You _knew_, I know you did!"

Hart's eyes narrowed and her lips thinned in anger as she listened to Hawke belittle her as he blew up. She allowed him to rant, but noticed how annoyed and uneasy Sebastian was as he stood there and listened to Hawke insult her intelligence, she saw how wary and surprised Fenris and Anders were but stayed silent as Hawke continued to rage at her.

Hart eyed Hawke after he was finished, he was breathing heavily and glaring down at her. "So are you finished, or are you just trying to catch your breath?" she asked, her tone flat.

He threw his hands into the air, a frustrated look on his face as he stared up at the sky before looking down at her. "Don't you _ever_ show emotions? What are you, an empty vessel-no, a heartless bitch?" he snarled at her, arm snaking out and catching unto her own, yanking her to him.

He glared down into her cold eyes, she just stood there, as if she had been expecting this or something similar. "I can show emotions, I just choose not to." she finally answered, a brief flash of pain in her eyes before it was gone as his hand tightened around her upper arm.

Hawke could only stare at Hart before he growled in disgust and thrust her away from him. "All I can see is a emotionless _bitch_. Maker's Breath, _Fenris_ shows more emotion then you!" he rubbed his temples, tiredness etched on his face as the sun was setting in the distance.

"I can take over, Hawke. We've been searching for Feynriel all day, I can understand if you want to take a break,"

"No!" he snapped, stomping down the rest of the stairs and past everyone as he left.

**, . . . ; : / ' ' \ : ; . . . ,**

_Hart had Anders cornered, he was jumpy and his eyes were all over the place-trying to find a way out of the corner he was backed into. It was obvious to Hart that he didn't want to do this, because Titan was somewhere around this part of the Keep, Nathanial was somewhere near and Justice could walk in on them any minute._

"_I just want to hear you say it to my face, Anders…" she whispered, eyes narrowed as she glared up into his face- he wasn't looking into her eyes, always looking everywhere else but at her._

"_Ah, and…what…" he gulped, the fierce glare on her face drawing his eyes to her face reluctantly._

"_What are you talking about?" he practically whimpered when he noticed the flash of sadness and pain in her eyes._

_Her hands were suddenly gripping his robes in her hands and he was suddenly staring in her bright blue eyes that were shining with unshed tears. "I want you to look me in the eyes and tell me you love Nat, to tell me that everything he's put you through…the crying, the hurt, I want you to say he's worth it all." she let out a shuddering breath before he was suddenly staring back into glistening blue eyes with tears falling freely now._

"_I want you to say that when you come to me, it's for emotional relief, that you don't feel anything but brotherly love when I hug you while you're crying, or when we're sitting on my bed with a book…I want you to look me in the eyes right now and tell me you don't have the same feelings I have for you." a sob caught in her throat as more tears fell down her face rapidly._

"_I want to hear you say you don't care for me."_

"_I…Faustine, I…" words wouldn't form, he was staring down into eyes that always looked so lively, but now they just looked defeated and pained._

_Hart stared into Anders eyes for a few more seconds before slowly releasing him, her hands fell to her sides and she-_

"Hart!"

Hart's eyes snapped out and she sat up, her hand automatically going to the other persons wrist and hitting a pressure point in the mages grasp, stopping the flow of unfamiliar magic.

Her dagger was pressed against the mages throat and her hand was still gripping the mans wrist, her knee digging into his other hand and she was glaring into his ember eyes, about to slide the dagger across his throat and end his life before she _recognized_ the mage she was pinning down.

"Anders?" her voice came out raspy, as though she was sick or she hadn't had anything to drink in a while. She let go of his wrist and got off him slowly, just now feeling the ache in her limbs as she stood there, watching Anders curse her as he got up himself and brushed the dirt off his robes.

"And here I thought you couldn't get anymore stranger! That was a _Templar_ move that you just did to me, you know!" his eyes narrowed on her as she looked around the cavern they were in, pain and confusion etched onto her normally emotionless face. "Where are we?" she questioned, her voice coming out as a whisper because of the pain in her throat.

"You seriously don't remember?" he questioned slowly, watching as Sebastian came up behind her and steadied her as she had been trembling.

"Remember what? The immense pain I was in before I blacked out, because I sure as _fuck_ remember that!" Hart's glazed eyes glared at Anders before she winced and buried her face in Sebastian's shoulder. "We're in the caves that this note indicated," he pulled said note from his pocket, watching as Hart grunted to show she heard him but didn't make to move away from Sebastian as he slowly in inched toward a crate to seat them on.

"Ye shooldn't hae stopped his magic, Hart. He was healing ye," Sebastian stated as Hart leaned against him, using him as a kind of brace. All he got for his words was a small chuckle, "You're accent got thicker, Seb." was all she got to the questioned look she knew she was receiving.

Hart out a deep breath before pushing herself off the crate, Sebastian following suit to make sure she didn't collapse or faint.

"How long have I been out?"

Anders regarded her silently, watching her and Sebastian before answering, "10 minutes, more or else."

"Then that shoold mean they're nae far ahead," Sebastian said, his accent still a little thicker then Anders was used to. "They're still idiots, leaving the three of us here. I can get Anders being left behind, but the conscious archer? You have got to be shitting me. They should have went mage and warrior, then the archer and warrior going on ahead. At least then the warrior would have _some_ damn protection. But do they do that? Noooo," Anders and Sebastian trailed after Hart as she muttered and cursed Fenris and Hawke under her breath, both watching her closely.

By the time they got there, Feynriel was slowly making his way toward Hawke but when he saw Hart just beyond Hawke's shoulder, he lost all fear he had and ran to her. Embracing her tightly and burying his face in her hair, relaxing instantly when he felt her hug him in return.

"I kinda can't breath right now, Rios." Hart mumbled, letting out a sigh of relief when Feynriel's grip instantly loosened. "You have _no idea_ how happy I am to see you! Maker's Breath, I am so stupid, what was I thinking, trying to run away? All that got me was Templars coming after me, my mother betraying me and I was almost _sold_, Hart, _sold_ to Tevinter slavers! Ugh," Feynriel's voice was muffled by her hair as he continued to hug her, needing to feel _safe_.

"You were just…scared, because of how the Circle is here. I can…understand that. I can see you don't want to be broken, or treated like an animal. But you have to understand that Arianni only wanted to _help_ you, she didn't want her baby to be trapped or mistreated." Hart said, pushing Feynriel away enough so that she could look into his tear filled eyes.

"She was scared too, because of your nightmares and the demons coming after you. She did the only thing she could think of, because she _loves_ you." she added, watching as Feynriel trembled before letting out a sob and hugging her again.

She let him cry out his pain, fear and troubles as she rested her chin on his shoulder, letting out a sigh and silently telling Hawke 'Not now,' with her eyes at his and Fenris' questioning looks. Anders, she figured, was-to put it simply- more then likely amazed because Feynriel was a _mage_ and she was hugging him and apparently _knew_ him.

"Feynriel, laddie, we need tae leave now. Yer mother is worried," Sebastian's voice breaks into her thoughts, scattering them as she feels Feynriel ripping himself from her grasp to glare over her shoulder at Sebastian.

"No! She's going to hand me over to the Templars! _She_ was going to give me up, and just hand me over!" he hissed, hand instantly interlocking with Hart's in fear and anger. "Feynriel." he stops at the commanding tone in Hart's voice and stands there as fear and dread drips him. "Do I really have to repeat myself? Your mother _loves_ you. She's only thinking of helping you." he felt a tug on his hand but refused to look at Hart.

"Me and Merrill _love_ you. And if you don't want to go to the Circle…then you _don't_ have to," Hart whispered, her heart breaking at the dread filled look on Feynriel's face.

"But-but you said-I mean-"

"I said shit," Hart's eyes were narrowed on Feynriel. "I sat there, and listened, if you don't remember." she added. "I distinctly remember you're mother talking and explaining, she didn't do _anything_ in secret,"

"She was going to give me to the Templars!"

"She also asked me to take you to Keeper Marethari…"

Everyone watched as Feynriel's breath got in his throat and he stilled as though struck.

"But…you…" his voice died to nothing as he stared into Hart's deadpan expression, chagrin and shame filling him up when he realized he really should have listened to his mother. "Yo-You were going to take me to the Keeper?" he asked, shamefaced.

"As soon as you stopped running from us, I was." Hart replied, ignoring the disapproving glare she was getting from Fenris. "But mother said-"

"I lived with them for eight _months_," Hart said slowly, lips curving into an amused smile when Feynriel let out a sigh and slumped in defeat.

"_It's strange, isn't it? To be where everything all began." _Torpor's words came back to haunt her as Sebastian came up to them, giving her a disapproved look as Hawke questioned her with his eyes.

"Are ye sure, Hart? Ye cannae take back whit ye dae later…" Sebastian said quietly, voicing everyone's thoughts. "I'm not sure at all, but going to Marethari is better then Rios getting sold as a slave to the Tevinters, isn't it? Or being beaten down by Meredith's Templars?" Hart said, turning and leading Feynriel out of the cavern room they were in.

"Loot all you want, I'm going to bring Feynriel to Marethari!" she said over her shoulder to everyone. "I will come with ye, who knows what will happen this late," Sebastian's footsteps started, quickly catching up to them and leaving Fenris, Hawke and Anders standing alone in the cavern in bewilderment.

**, . . . ; : ' / \ ' : ; . . . ,**

Hart let out a sigh when she saw the Dalish camp coming up around the bend, mentally congratulating herself on not showing any of the pain she was in as they left the caves and travelled to where she knew the camp was located, even when the sun had long since gone down and they were bathed in the moonlight.

"Are we close?" Feynriel's nervous voice broke into Hart's musings as he inched himself closer to Hart, eyes looking around the forest fearfully. "Yes, Rios, the camp is just up ahead." she answered in return, trying to make her voice sound reassuring even as nervousness pricked at her.

Questions like 'What if they won't accept Rios?' came up, because she remembered the strangeness of living with them. How cold or even cruel some of the elves had been to her simply because she was a human. She had almost stopped multiple times and turned them around to go back to Kirkwall, but the thought of Feynriel's reaction, the heartbreak that would be on his face kept her moving, kept her wishing to the high heavens that Marethari would accept him and not turn him away just because he had human blood in him.

"Hart, we hae company." Sebastian's voice sounded weary and Hart instantly tightened her grip on Feynriel's hand in response as Sebastian and her eyed the band of elves in front of them.

"Junar," she let out the breath she had been holding in, feeling relief rushing through her at the familiar face. "Hart?" his confused voice reached her before she saw him silently tell the other elves to put their weapons away. "What are you doing back so soon? You have only been gone a few weeks." he questioned as he walked toward them.

"I have…a mage with me, Arianni is his mother." she said slowly, feeling dread fill her stomach as Junar stopped and looked at her in thought.

"Why have you brought him here, when he could be in the _Circle_?" Junar spat the word, eyes narrowed on their darkened forms. "Because he's…special," she shrugged, "I need to see the Keeper though, concerning Feynriel." she added quickly, interrupting Junar before he could speak.

She watched as Junar looked at her then at Feynriel and Sebastian, as though debating on bringing them to the camp.

"Follow me then," he finally said, turning on his heel as he gestured to the rest of the elves to go back to their posts, leading Hart into the camp.

"Thank you, Junar." she let out a tired sigh, grimacing when pain shoot up her arm as they silently followed Junar, Feynriel grip becoming vice-like as he saw the Dalish camp and saw Marethari as she stepped out of her wagon.

"Hello, Marethari." Hart gave her a tired smile as she tugged Feynriel beside her, Sebastian stationing himself on the other side of her.

"_Da'len_?" Marethari looked a little surprised at seeing her so soon, but her eyes looked around, as though trying to look for someone. "No, _Nonna_. Merrill is not with me this time." Hart muttered, grimacing again as the pain in her arm got worse.

Feynriel and Sebastian watched as Marethari smiled at the word _Nonna_ before her gaze went from Hart to Feynriel, making him shift uncomfortably. "Who is this, _Da'len_?"

"This is Feynriel, son to Arianni," Hart said, rolling her shoulder to try lessen the pain. "Ah, the one you said you suspect to be a Dreamer," Marethari nodded in understanding, realization dawning on her when she realized this was the boy Hart had been speaking to her about.

"And I take it that he does not wish to go to the Circle?" Marethari questioned, gaze leaving Feynriel, much to his relief, and turning to the tired and pained looked Hart.

"Why else would we be here?" Hart chuckled in response.

"You look so tired and in need of healing," Marethari's face showed concern as she gestured for one of the elves to come over. The female elf that came gently pried Feynriel's grip away from Hart's hand and helped her sit down on the steps to Marethari's wagon.

"That's because I was trying to save Rios from being sent to Tevinter to be sold as a slave," she smiled weakly, seeing Marethari's eyes slide from her to Sebastian. "My companion here is Sebastian Vale," she said, hand gesturing to the red head.

"It is nice to know that our _Da'len_ has a friend, Sebastian." Marethari gave him a nod in greeting, Sebastian smiling at her politely.

"Will you take him, _Nonna_?" Hart spoke up as the female elf handed her a poultice, giving her a thankful smile as she took it, Hart looked back up at Feynriel and Marethari. She watched the nervousness and saw Marethari gaze at Feynriel thoughtfully.

"Yes, I will. For you and Merrill," Marethari finally nodded after a few moments of silence, making Hart and Feynriel sigh in relief. "Thank you, Marethari."

"Let me heal you, before you go." Feynriel blurted out as Hart got up. "I-I mean, because you've helped me so much and it's obvious that you're in pain and I haven't done _anything_ but be a bother because I should have seen your pain before but everything-" he stopped talking when Hart held up a hand.

"I know, Rios. So can you just heal me? Merrill is probably at home worrying herself over me," she gave Feynriel a smile, warmth and fondness filling her at Feynriel's rambling.

"Yes, I can do that!"

**, . . . ; : / ' ' \ : ; . . . ,**

Hart let out a sigh of pleasure as she stretched her legs, relishing in the absence of pain as Sebastian waited for her patiently.

They had left the Dalish camp long ago and Kirkwall was just in their sights when Hart had suddenly stopped and gazed up at the crescent moon high in the sky. "Why did ye dae it?" Sebastian suddenly spoke up, making Hart let out a squeak of surprise as she fell over, landing on her bottom.

"Why'd I do what?" she questioned, accepting Sebastian's hand as he helped her get up from the ground.

"Why'd ye let him go, when ye could hae forced him tae the circle?"

Hart looked up into Sebastian's curious gaze, thinking of an answer. She _could_ have just forced Feynriel to the Circle and damn his feelings and resistance. But she couldn't help but think back on that one time, that one place and _him_ and what he would have done in her steed. How brave that man was and how he would have fought for what he believed even if he was scared.

She remembered how scared Feynriel was, how determined he was and how he was willing to fight for what he wanted, even though he knew she could have easily taken his magic away with a hard hit to a certain point in his wrist.

Hart stared into Sebastian's forest green eyes as he stared down into her icy blue ones. "Because he reminded me of someone, the way he acted. Like he was willing to fight for what he wanted, even though he was outmatched." she finally said, her answer obviously not satisfactory to Sebastian but he was willing to accept it, none the less.

"I want the whole story someday, Hart. Ne'er doubt that," Sebastian said as they walked toward Kirkwall.

"You and everyone else in this whole fucked up group, Seb." Hart shook her head in amusement, a small laugh escaping her lips as they entered Kirkwall. "And I'll most likely tell you one of these days, once I actually figure all the messed up shit out," she added, gazing up at the disappearing moon as they got deeper into the City of Chains.

"And I will be eager tae hear yer story, Hart. When ye actually tell it," Sebastian said, a smile in his voice as they parted ways, each heading to their homes.\

Hart let out a sigh of relief when she saw Hawke wasn't stalking her doorstep like she thought he would have been, and glad to see Merrill sitting on the steps, obviously worried at how late she had been gone.

She was simply glad someone was there for her to come home to, despite the fact that she didn't approve of Merrill's blood magic, Hart still loved and appreciated the fact that she wasn't alone, or unloved.

She was simply happy that someone was here, because being alone after…

Hart shook her head, dispelling the thoughts as she closed the door to their meagre house, refusing to admit it. Refusing to _accept_ it. Because it couldn't have been true, it had all been a dream.

Right?

"_It's strange, isn't it? To be where everything all began." _Hart frowned as the words repeated themselves in her mind, things she viewed as simple dreams surfacing up along with them as she and Merrill got ready for bed.

"_To be back where everything all began_." she gazed out at Kirkwall, a certain red haired elf in her thoughts before she shook her head, pushing those thoughts away and climbing into bed.

**Eh, I was up writing this for you guys because, hey, nothing to do.**

**Well, I have math…-stares at math-**

**But I'm most likely to go brain dead and I didn't want that. 'Cause I'm working on the next chapters to **_**Virtual Love**_**(Which I'm stuck on) **_**Twin Lanterns**_**(Coming along just as slowly as **_**Virtual Love**_**) **_**Into the Game**_**(Almost done) and **_**Heaven Is**_**(Also almost done…)**

**But anyways, you're probably wondering what Nonna and Da'len means(But really, most of you should know was Da'len means…)**

**Nonna: Grandma**

**Da'len: Little Child**

**Review, please?**


	8. Seeking and Questioning

**Honestly, I can't seem to make up my mind on the pairings I have for my stories.**

**But anyways…who's happy I updated?**

**Disclaimer: Don't own Dragon Age.**

**0-0-0-0-0-0-0**

"Aye, Hart does love tae disappear oan ye when ye need her most." Sebastian's amused voice reached Nigel, only making his scowl darken at his words. "So you have no idea where the wench went?" he bit out, his anger rising at having to actually search for someone.

"I didnae say that, now did I?" Sebastian asked lightly, his tone suggesting the question was rhetorical. "I know where she is, I was just sayin' she ne'er there when ye actually need her." Sebastian chuckled.

"Then where is the blasted wench?" Nigel clenched his jaw, his anger only intensifying at the knowledge that he could have came here first instead of looking throughout all of Kirkwall to find the blasted woman.

"You'll find 'er at th' Wounded Coast, if she isnae in Lowtown with Merrill." was all Sebastian got to say as Nigel stormed out of the Chantry, cursing Hart all the while and making the Sisters and Priests back away from him quickly, their eyes wide.

Without any words, Anders and Aveline followed Nigel once he came stomping out of the Chantry, already knowing not to question him as he made his way out of Kirkwall and towards the Wounded Coast.

"Stupid wench!" Nigel swore, the realization that he didn't know _where_ she was on the Coast making him stop, having a stare down with the sand underneath his feet.

"Now aren't you the prettiest sight to behold." his head shot up, his snarl coming back as Hart's voice reached him. He glowered at the woman he had been looking for as she stared at him, her face carefully blank save for an eyebrow raised in question.

"Wench!" he finally hissed, watching as what little interest she had died as she turned away from him, clearly intending to go back to whatever it was she had been doing.

"Is there a reason for your anger this time, or am I just your punching bag?" her voice drawled as he stalked after her, a glare darkening his features. "Yes, there is a reason." he said lowly, eyeing the bag in her grasp. "I've been looking for you," he added, realizing she was giving him a questioning look.

"For what reason?" she asked, eyes catching sight of something and making her speed up her pace, intend on grabbing whatever it is.

"I have a mission and I need a Rogue. Varric is to busy getting information and Sebastian says he has better things to do," he said, silently watching as she crouched down and carefully picked a colourful looking flower.

"Never knew you were the romantic type, you heartless bitch." Nigel smirked, looking at the pretty flower in her hands and then into her icy orbs that were glowering at him. "I'll be sure to bring you some flowers next time I have need of you," he added, not expecting her to give a short laugh, shaking her head.

"They're not for me, you jackass." she snorted, reaching up and putting the flower in her hair.

"…you have your hair up," he stared, actually looking at her appearance for the first time today.

"Yes, I tend to have my hair in a ponytail when I go frolicking in the wilds," Hart rolled her eyes at Nigel, spying Anders and Aveline behind him. "Besides my quite _shocking_ appearance, what are you doing so early in the day? It's _just_ beginning to be noon, after all, don't you usually drag me into trouble when night is near?." he didn't fail to notice the sarcasm in her tone, but choose to ignore it.

This time.

"Some Orlais man has asked me to find out what's wrong with his blasted caverns. Apparently, the workers haven't been reporting to him like they should and he's concerned because some of them have been returning home or are missing." he answered, raising an eyebrow as she appeared thoughtful.

Or as thoughtful as she allowed herself to look with him.

"The Bone Pit, right? I need something from there and was going to be there after getting this." she gestured to the flower she had put into her hair.

"And seeing as you need my help…" she let out a sigh. "So much work to do today, shall we go?"

Nigel had his eyes narrowed on her, his lips twitching and biting, harsh words trying to claw their way up his throat before he simply gave her a sharp nod and turned on his heel, clearly expecting her to simply follow.

"Which reminds me…" Nigel's eyes closed, annoyance cutting through to him before he continued walking, trying to listen for Hart's light footsteps that would tell him that she was walking with him still.

"One of the Templars are looking for you."

Nigel froze at Hart's words, spinning around on his heel to look at her, only to find her going through the bag she was carrying. "Actually, two Templars are looking for you." she added thoughtfully, pulling two envelopes from her bag.

"Cullen and someone else. The Deities above are the only ones who know _why_, because I know for a fact that you've already received payment, and you've gotten thanks. Maybe they expect you to hunt one of the blood mages? Who knows." Hart held out the envelopes towards Nigel, patiently waiting for him to take them.

"What are you, the Templars _whore_?" Nigel growled, turning away from Hart with a disgusted noise and continued on leading their way to the Bone Pit.

"Oh, so now I've turned from Mage whore to a _Templar_ whore! How rich, tell me, are you going to call me a courtesan next, or maybe one of the Blooming Roses girls?" Hart gave an exasperated sigh at Nigel's retreating back, putting the envelopes back into her bag and following after him.

"You two have a very strange relationship," Aveline shook her head, Hart only giving her a cool look. "I seriously doubt we can call what Hawke and I have a _relationship_. It is more a…" Hart let out a sigh, rubbing her hands together thoughtfully. "It is more a forced convenience. On both of our parts, we would live happily if we never saw each other again." she said, ignoring Nigel's glare as she turned back to Aveline.

Aveline gave a scoff at Hart's words, ignoring Hawke's warning growl mixing with Anders annoyed groan.

"A strange relationship to have, nevertheless."

Nigel grumbled under his breath, listening as they finally fell silent, tired of hearing how they were so abusive to each other.

"What is that flower you have?" he finally asked, deciding that conversation would be far better then the deafening silence that has befallen the group. "Ah, the dastardly jackass speaks!" Nigel scowled at Hart, the seriousness of the question reflected in his eyes.

"Well, if you must know. This flower is called Harlots Blush and-"

"At least now I know there's a flower that suits you a little bit. Are there any flowers called Heartless Bitch?" Hart let out a snort at Nigels words, hardly surprised at his comment. "Well, if you only want the name, then now you know it." she said after he raised an eyebrow at her questionably.

"Isn't that flower supposed to be in a certain potion?" Anders frowned, hand reaching out to touch the flower before pausing when Hart turned to glare at him, his hand falling to his hand.

"It is, I believe. Don't know _which_ potion, I just collect what's needed." Hart said, answering Anders partial question.

Unknown to them, Nigel had scoffed quietly, rolling his eyes as he heard Anders start muttering to himself, no doubt looking at Hart's hair because of the flower. "What does it matter? We aren't looking for anything related to that…" he trailed off, glancing towards Hart to look at the flower. "Harlots Blush, I think she said it was…"

**0-0-0-0-0-0-0**

"Remind me to never again go along with Hawke whenever he wants to go dragon chasing. That Drake was a fucking _monster_ to kill. I mean, hell man, that was the toughest workout I've ever had since the Dalish. It's been _that_ long," Hart said as she burst into Sebastian's simple room.

"An' here I was thinking' I was goin' tae hae a nice night tonight." Sebastian drawled, giving Hart a humour filled smile as she closed the door and moved to sit beside him.

"Oh, did you expect me to go to a brothel and _pay_ for company, when I have one here in the Chantry?" Hart raised an eyebrow at Sebastian, her face carefully blank, the only thing visible in her eyes being the mock seriousness.

"…are ye comparin' me tae a whore?" Sebastian blinked at Hart when she reached up and lightly patted his cheek, a false front of love on her face as she gazed up at him. "No, Seb, I'm calling you a high class _male_ courtesan."

"So basically, I'm yer Chantry whore…" Sebastian said slowly, his eyebrow raised at her amused smile. "An expensive Chantry whore," she agreed, pulling something from her bag and offering it to him.

She waited patiently as Sebastian froze, staring at the locket in her grasp in shock and sadness.

Slowly, as though in a trance, Sebastian took the locket from her hands gently and held it closer to himself. "I had ne'er thought tae see this again…" Sebastian said moments later, his eyes still trained on the locket before turning to Hart, gratitude in his eyes.

"Where did ye find it?"

"On one of the mercenaries, he had it in his pocket." Hart replied, opening another part of her bag as Sebastian's hands came up to open the locket.

She left him in silence, taking out the requested papers with travellers sayings on it, the letters to Hawke catching her eye and scoffing. "Who are those for?" Sebastian looked over Hart's shoulder to peer into her bag, taking notice of the two envelopes as she finished taking out what she needed. "Originally, for Hawke. Although, I suppose since he turned it down, it's _my_ jobs, if they are requesting anything done." she said dryly.

"Hawke doesnae like th' Templars much, I see." Sebastian said dryly, taking the papers offered. "No, avoids them as much as a mage on the run does." Hart said, ignoring Sebastian's amused chuckle as they started to go over the papers.

"The nobles that replied said that they're sorry for your loss, but cannot really do anything about it." Hart said with a roll of her eyes, plucking out certain pieces of paper from the pile.

"They're merely scared. Maybe id we meet in person, they might change their min'," Sebastian mumbled, putting the letters on a nearby book and turning to her notes. "Which would mean travelling across all of the Free Marches, yes? What joy I feel at your words, Seb." Hart snorted, earning herself a smile as they turned to one particular paper.

"What is this?" Sebastian's brows furrowed as he and Hart tried to read the worn looking parchment.

"…I honestly have no idea, what the hell?" she muttered, grabbing the page, her eyes running over the smudged words. "I don't know what this is…maybe a diary…"

She squinted at the page, trying to make out the words.

"I think I know what it says…just give me a moment,"

Sebastian frowned, his eyes running over the paper again. "Where did ye get this? It looks…old, nae, worn." he said, standing up to follow her as she got up to leave his room. "Like hell if I know," she snorted, walking towards one of the rooms she knew had blank paper and a quill.

"Maybe it was that Starkhaven traveller I bumped into because of Hawke. He dropped some of his parchment because Hawke was trying to kill me again and I lost some of mine." she said, hand reaching out and grabbing what she needed before sitting down at one of the desks.

"I think one of ye would already be died, if ye truly wanted tae murder th' other." Sebastian said dryly.

Silence desended upon the duo as Hart tried to piece to figure out what the letter was, some of the words so smudged she had to get Sebastian's help after a while.

"What the fuck are you doing? Some kind of sick holy session?" Hawke's voice rang out as he stalked towards them, his usual scowl on his face whenever seeing Hart.

"Yes, this is what we do _all_ the time. It's how we get our pleasure," she rolled her eyes, listening as Sebastian stifled a laugh under the guise of a cough. "Freaks," he snarled, coming to a stop before them and looking at the ruined paper before looking at her other hand, which was holding a quill over a brand new looking parchment, apparently writing something.

"What, you're _decoding_ something?" he scoffed, annoyance flashing in his eyes when Hart turned away from him to continue with whatever she had been doing.

"Is there a particular reason you're here, Hawke?" Sebastian asked, brow raised as Hart muttered to herself.

"I came to pick up those letters the Templar whore has," he said, smirking as Hart paused to give him a faintly annoyed look. "She told me ye didnae want them. I suppose they are more important 'en ye thought?" Sebastian looked amused as Hart scoffed, folding the ruined parchment up and putting the quill away.

"I think this is what it says, some of the words are too blurry to make out though."

Hawke and Sebastian both looked at her, curiosity eating at them. "It looks like it's a diary page, don't know what good that does us. Bunch of horseshit, is what I'm thinking," she declared, holding both pieces of parchment in her grasp as she walked back to Sebastian's room, both men trailing after her.

"And why, exactly, do you think that is?" Hawke drawled, voicing Sebastian and his thoughts as Hart picked up her bag, pulling the envelopes from it and handing them to him.

"I don't see how that's any of your business." Hart said, handing Sebastian the papers when he reached for them. "But if you _must_ know, it's just a noble complaining about her mother and the estate they were going to extend." she said, turning away from him and grabbing the papers they had abandoned.

"If that's all, I'll be leaving now. Maker knows I'll never get any entertainment from you two, boring whores." Hawke muttered as he took his leave, not noticing as Hart gave Sebastian a smug smile or the exasperated look he gave her in return.

"Does everybody view me as a male whore, or is it just ye two?" Sebastian asked dryly as he returned to reading what hart had gotten from the ruined parchment.

"You're my Chantry whore, I'm guessing he's referring to _before_ you were a brother," Hart replied.

"It fills me wi' such joy tae know ye view me as yer _Chantry_ whore…" Sebastian's annoyed tone only succeeded to make her smile in satisfaction, rather then frown at him.

"Yes, well, we'd better go over what exactly we're going to do, yes? Can't go off trying to retake Starkhaven with a half-assed plan," Hart stopped what she was doing when she caught sight of the frown on Sebastian's face.

"I do nae know if I want tae continue, we already killed most of th' mercenaries for my family. Dae I really want to finish, an' reclaim Starkhaven?" he asked quietly, looking down at the papers.

Hart let out a sigh, eyes closing as a memory rose up she'd rather not remember.

"_Were you there when my father died?" Faustine winced at Nathaniel's words, listening as Oghren let out a sigh. "Don't go disturbin' ashes best left to rest. It does no good…" he replied, Nathaniel frowning at his answer._

"_Whatever people said about him, he was still my father. I just…" Nathaniel trailed off, eyes downcast with a his frown deepening. "I just want to know if he…if he suffered before he died."_

_Faustine shared a look with Titan, a question in her eyes as Oghren answered, "I'm not the person to ask, seein' as I wasn't there."_

"_Alright Oghren, evade the question…"_

_Once they had reached Amaranthine, Titan and Oghren had left her and Nathaniel to their own devices, each telling them where they'd be or what they were doing._

"_Goin' to the tavern, yell fur me or something' when yer done."_

"_I'm picking up supplies some people were to lazy to come get, apparently…front gate, half hour."_

_Which had her browsing the merchant stalls, looking at all the items as Nathaniel left to go see his sister, telling her he wouldn't be long._

"_I thought of killing you." Faustine jumped at Nathaniel's unexpected appearance, almost falling over in surprise and shock. "Shit holy!" she gasped, spinning to look at him and words of anger rising to her lips before she paused._

"_I said that wrong…"_

"_I just told you I thought of killing you and you worry about what you said?" Amusement danced in his eyes as he smiled at her scowl. "Well, you would have killed me if you meant to kill me, wouldn't you have? Titan knows, I'm not exactly the most wonderful rogue out of the lot." she snorted. "Aren't you even curious?" his brows furrowed at her, confusion clear on his face._

"_Course I'm curious, I mean, why wouldn't I be? You come out of no where and say what you said? Of course I'm over flowing with the need for the answer to the statement!"_

_Nathaniel laughed lightly, shaking his head at her._

"_Now I can understand why Titan keeps you around." he mused, before noticing her look. "What I meant by that…" he trailed off, realizing he _didn't_ know what he meant. "I just…I meant…I don't know." he looked sheepish at her amused look. "So you say you thought of killing me- which, I'm going to assume meant me, Titan, Grunt and Gray, by the way- and now you don't know why?"_

"_Well…I thought of it, he was different, or maybe I was simply blind…but I felt hurt, betrayed. I come back from the Free Marches to find my family home gone, the Wardens the cause of my fathers death. Of course I wanted revenge…" Nathaniel let out a sigh, trying to gather his thoughts. "But when I got here, when I saw you and recognized you from the descriptions. I could have killed you when you were alone, away from the others, but I didn't…I just wanted some of my families possessions, I realized-"_

"_Is this leading somewhere, Nat, or is this a confession?" Faustine cut in, looking amused. "Because I'm not a Sister, you realize…"_

_He looked chagrined, rubbing the back of his neck. "Sorry…I guess…well, I want to know…Did I do the right thing?" he asked, his lips twisting back into a frown._

"…_you're seriously asking me, the very person you thought of killing, if what you did was _right_?" she asked shoulders shaking and biting her lip as she tried not laughing. "Well…yeah, I suppose I am." he chuckled, an embarrassed look on his eyes as Faustine laughed, head lying on his chest as she shook in laughter._

"_Oh God…that is even more hilarious then Naga proposing to Titan!" she giggled._

"_But…what I'm wondering is this: does to _feel_ like you did the right thing, in not killing us?" she asked him after a while, pushing herself away from him to look him in the eyes._

_Nathaniel pondered her question, "Truthfully?"_

_Her lips twisted into a smile. "Yes, truthfully."_

"_I never thought about it. I was just angry, and then once we got here," he gestured to around them, gesturing to the fact that he was a Grey Warden. "Once I got to know everyone…I actually started worrying about what _you_ thought." he finished._

_Faustine gave him a confused look, "What I thought? What do you mean by that? I'm not important, you realize. Elaborate."_

"_You're a rather manipulative little thing, you must know that." this time it was Nathaniel's turn to look amused. "And you have this certain air to you, the usual joking, fun loving Faustine everyone see's, but on a mission, or if someone is worried, second guessing themselves, you're always there enforcing justice. Mercy, even." he said._

"…_what?"_

"_What I meant is that what you are, what your beliefs are…there's just so much…" he wracked his brain for the right word. "There's just so much _optimism_ and _pureness _in you, and you always tell others to do the right thing. Or are there to rein in someone when they're about to do something you think is unjust. So, essentially, I was more worried about what _you_ thought, then what I believe." he said, hoping he explained better._

"_But it shouldn't matter what I think," Faustine said, giving him another confused look. "Think about it Nate, and when you have answer, you tell me if you think what you did was right."_

"_And I take offence to being called an innocent, that just doesn't…fit. Not with the lives I've taken," she said, a frown on her face._

"_And that means…?"_

"_Oh no, you think about what we just talked about. When you have an answer, I'll answer you_."

Hart let out a sigh, taking the papers from his hands gently.

"I don't know, Seb. Does it really matter what I think? Shouldn't you answer this question yourself, because I'm merely a helper. You set this course of action, I'm merely here as support for you." she said.

"Think about it, if you think this is wrong, we'll stop. But if you think this is what we should be doing…" she trailed off, a frown taking place on her face as Sebastian gazed at his sisters locket. "You think, when you decide if this is right or wrong, stop or continue. Then we'll do what you think, not what I think." she said, placing the papers in her bag and turning to leave.

"I dunnae know what tae think," Sebastian said before she left.

"That's why I'm leaving right now, I want you to think about it. What I want doesn't matter, this is about what _you_ want…"

And she left him standing in his room, the candlelight flickering softly as he stared at the locket. She left him alone with his thoughts, and told herself that she'd do either finish what they started if he decided this was right, or stop if he decided he didn't want this.

**0-0-0-0-0-0-0**

**Who loves me?**

**Those who review, is what I'm thinking.**

**But what do I know, I'm a bad author who hasn't updated in a while…**

**But anyways!**

**Who else is falling for my version Sebastian? It's been a while since I attempted writing anything relating to characters that already exist, even longer trying to write about characters I don't even know.**

**But Seb seems to be getting some positive results…same as Torpor, apparently.**

**Heard nothing about Sheba…**

**Also, who has an **_**idea**_** of what I'm doing here?**

**Just curious…**

**Review?**


	9. The Seed of Doubt

**HAPPY HOLIDAYS!**

**Decided to post this as a present for you.**

**Originally, I was going to post something for all the stories I have going but I ran out of time and all I can post is this.**

**I might post something tomorrow…but the thought of some Angst!Fluff was strong with me, surprisingly, considering it's Christmas Eve right now.**

**But hey, whatever goes, goes, right?**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing you recognize.**

**0-0-0-0-0-0-0**

"_Have you pieced everything together yet, my bird?" Hart heard Torpor's darkly amused chuckle before she felt his arm wrap around her, propping his chin on her head._

"_That you're a creepy, possessive stalker? Yeah, couldn't miss that." she rolled her eyes, acting as though she were expecting him. She felt the vibrations as he laughed, "No, I meant this world…the memories-"_

"_They're only dreams." she snapped, tearing herself away from Torpor so she could glare at him. "Silly little fan girl fantasies I dreamed up when I was 18. None of it actually happened!" she hissed, a snarl on her face before spying a cat behind them, sprawled out on a table._

"_Oh, you poor little girl…" Sheba's voice came from the cat as it jumped off the table, stalking towards them at a lazy place. "They hurt you…so much. That's why you refuse to believe it, my poor baby." Sheba rubbed herself on Hart's legs in an attempt of mock comfort._

"_No, I don't refuse to remember because it _didn't_ happen. Imagining things like what you _think _happened is what I do best." she rolled her eyes, as Sheba clambered into her lap after Torpor created a chair for her to sit on._

"_It does not change what they did to you. They were so cruel to you…and all you did was love them. They promised you everything and yet you got nothing." Torpor stroked Hart's hair, ignoring the fact that Hart was doing her best to ignore him._

"_Do you remember when we last met? When you made a deal with us to leave this world for your own, where you made us promise to bring you back. Just so you could stop what was to come here in Kirkwall?"_

"_No. I didn't make you make any such promise," Hart narrowed her eyes, resisting the urge to hurl Sheba away from her lap and instead moving to pet her. "From what I remember from that ludicrous dream I had, I meet you in the basement of the Keep because I wanted to leave, and got you to take us home. I only _thought_ of coming back, and that's it."_

_Hearing a giggle come from Sheba, Hart finally gave into the urge to push her off her lap, only for Sheba to morph and sit on the ground a few feet away._

"_What a silly little girl you are, Faustine." Sheba cooed at her, her hand coming up to stroke her cheek before Hart snarled at her, bolting out of her chair and away from the demon duo. "I am not _Faustine_!" she snapped as her eyes flashed, showing past hurt and disappointment, a glint of hope in her eyes before they were shadowed by her usual façade, her carefully constructed mask falling back into place as she pushed her anger away and bottled it up, the only sign showing she was angry was her clenched jaw._

"_That is not what you said, my bird. That is not how you introduced yourself to Titan, our very own Hero of Ferelden…"_

_The scene slowly started to change, making Hart clench her jaw in anger as she glared up into Torpor's darkly amused face._

_Slowly, the walls became less lavish, they became plain and old. The beautiful marble walls became wood, they got moldy and broken. Looking as though it would collapse at any moment. There was suddenly two small cots on either side of the room, there was a red haired elf staring at a younger version of her in amazement and suspicion._

_She watched as Titan gaped, the look on his face would probably have made her smile if the place was different, if she hadn't convinced herself that none of this was real, she would have let the love fill her instead of pushing it down if she truly believe what she was seeing._

_This was after Shianni had talked to him, told him to get up for his wedding. Before his father had walked through the door and inquired to why Titan was arguing with himself._

"_Who are you?" she heard him growl, his eyes narrowing as his one of his hands instinctively went for a dagger he always kept nearby, just in case. Eyes trained on her as she watched him in bemusement, clearly thinking something funny with the way her eyes glinted._

"_Faustine Hart Draven." she beamed at him, ignoring the bewildered look on his face._

"_And you're, what, some kind of lost spirit?" he sneered, protectiveness shining in his eyes as they flickered towards the door._

"_Lost spirit? Partly."_

_Hart closed her eyes, trying to block out Titan's voice, trying to forget how everything played out and trying to tell herself that this wasn't real anymore._

_She tried to tell herself this was all a dream and she could wake up any minute now._

_She squeezed her eyes shut, unwilling to acknowledge the hand that came up to caress her cheek in a comforting manner._

"_My poor bird…" Torpor cooed mockingly, wrapping his arms around her in a show of gentleness she never expected from him. She chocked down the sob that desperately climbed up her throat, hands clenching the silk of the shirt he wore._

"_I hate you…" she whispered. "I hate you so much…why do you show me things that never happened?" she bit back her tears, forced all the emotions she was feeling down and bottled them up again. "You are not as strong as you like to believe, are you?" Torpor's hand came up to stroke her hair, amazed she didn't push away and distance herself from him like she usually would. "You still want to be loved, by Titan. You want Zevran's answers, but are afraid. You want to know why Anders lied, why Justice left…"_

_This time, Hart forced herself to let Torpor go, wrenched herself away from his grasp._

"_I want to wake up now." she said firmly, eyes lowered to the ground and lips set in a thin line, obviously upset._

"_We still have much to discuss, my pet…"_

"_I am not your pet!" Hart snapped, eyes flashing in anger. Welcoming it as she glared at Torpor. "I am no one's pet! I am owned by no one! I. Want. To. Wake. _Up._" she added in a fierce growl, moving away from Sheba when she moved to her._

"_Now!"_

Hart sat up in bed, trembling hands coming up to her face as a sob was torn from her throat. She let the tears run freely as she cried, thanking whatever God there was that Sebastian and Merrill had been taken away by Hawke.

She cried, sobs wracking her body as memory after memory came to her.

"Why'd you have to bring me here?" she whispered to herself, her sobs turning to hiccups as her tears fell down her face silently. "Why'd you have to tell me everything I experienced was real?"

Hart took a deep breath, forcing herself to calm down and wiping her tears away. "But it isn't real." she said, throwing the blanket off and moving to stand up, tripping over a fallen book Merrill left and cursing. "Son of a bitch!"

Hart snarled, picking up the book and dumping it on a table nearby. "I swear to God, that girl cannot pick up after herself. Should get her a fucking maid, the damned shelf doesn't faze her." she glared at the mentioned shelf before grumbling and moving to her clothes, stripping out of her nightclothes, and hastily putting on random clothes; the need to be away, to leave Kirkwall filling her as she grabbed a dagger and long sword rather then her usual bow and arrows, opening the door and closing it, making sure it was semi secure before moving on.

She ignored the looks she was getting, telling herself it was her clothes rather then her red, swollen eyes and distraught expression on her face as she raced away, running towards the Wounded Coast.

"What if it was all real…what if…what if it all really happened?" she whispered, eyes staring out into the raging sea as she tried to look across it, trying to see Ferelden.

She cast her eyes downwards, to the sand underneath her bare feet, grimacing when she realized she forgot her boots. She frowned, thoughts of everything that happened in Ferelden and Amaranthine rising to her mind. She shook the memories away, still unsure if she should believe a demon over what she believed. She let out a sigh, sinking down into the sand.

She dug her hands into the cold sand, listened to the howling winds. She let a bittersweet smile cross her face when she remembered something specific, when she remembered the day Titan told her…

Her hands came up and wiped away tears, shaking the thoughts of Titan away.

Her lips thinned again, anger spiking at the thought of Torpor getting to her. "Lies, Hart, they're all lies…carefully constructed lies to make you believe and give into them." she whispered.

Her eyes dimmed, eyes going back to the sea. "But what if it isn't lies?" she asked herself, leaning back on a rock, knee coming up as she rested her arm on it. "What if everything Gray and I…what if it actually happened?" she questioned herself.

She mulled on the thought for a while, not noticing as the sky darkened and footsteps started becoming audible to the ears.

"Dreams becoming reality, reality becoming dreams…the Fade is real, wonderland is gone…It's like illusions. Lies hide the truth, and within the truth hides the lie. From the truth a lie is born, from the lie is the truth told."

"What are you babbling about? Have you finally gone insane and saved me the trouble, can you remember who I am?" Hart's eyes slide over to Hawke, noting the dark amusement on his face as he sneered at her.

As though he were Torpor, Hart let out an annoyed sigh and pushed herself off the ground, acted as though he were a distasteful something she'd rather not deal with.

"No, I wouldn't expect a tiny mind like yours to comprehend what goes through my head. I fear it would be far, far to much for you." she forced herself to give him a smirk, noticing him eye her questionably and hoping her eyes weren't still red and swollen from crying.

"Oh, like you are so much better." Hawke finally scoffed, relief washing over her even as Sebastian and Merrill both gave her concerned looks. Anders, much to her surprise, giving her a concerned frown as he and Hawke continued to Kirkwall.

"Did Hawke just insult himself?' Sebastian sounded amused as they followed. "Oh, I do believe so. Just goes to show how much of an idiot he is," Hart's eyes glinted as she spoke, loud enough to garner Hawke's attention and watching as he threw her a glare over his shoulder. "Oh, I don't think he meant to. You are just to clever for him, lethallan." Merrill giggled, hugging Hart's arm as Sebastian let out a chuckle.

"I can hear you, you know." Hawke's annoyed voice drifted to them, only succeeding in making them laugh instead of quieting like he probably hoped.

Hawke gave Hart a confused, bewildered look as she laughed. The sound of it foreign to his ears as he and Anders both stopped and looked at the laughing trio.

He watched as she covered her mouth, her laugh turning into giggles.

Hart shook her head, giving Hawke an amused look as she raised her eyebrow. He realized that this was the first time she had actually showed emotions to him, actually let her guard down for the moment.

His gaze slid over Sebastian, the Exiled Prince and Merrill, the elven blood mage.

He wondered if they were the cause of Hart's sudden mood change. Or if it was something different, like the reason her eyes were a little red and puffy, as though she had been crying. Which lead to another disturbing thought, like what could have made her cry. For all the time he had known her, she was never one to let her emotions show, or to let someone unsettle her. It…disheartened him, in an odd way.

He shook the thoughts from his head, grunting and continuing towards Kirkwall, ignoring the trio behind him.

Hart gave Hawke one more confused look before turning to Sebastian, feeling his eyes on her. A silent question was in his eyes, she noticed they flickered briefly, his eyes running over her face before he looked her in the eyes again.

"Later, I promise." she whispered, feeling Merrill let her arm go so she could hold her hand.

**0-0-0-0-0-0-0**

"Why were yer eyes red an' puffy swollen?" Sebastian questioned as soon as they both reached his room, knowing Hart was a very private person. "So it was obvious I was crying?" Hart's lips curved into a small smile. "Aye, tae someone who knows ye well." Sebastian tilted his head, concern in his eyes.

"It was nothing, a bad dream." Hart shook her head, starting to pace the length of his room. "A bad dream, really. You know how I am, taking lives I should not be taking." she took a deep breath, pacing at a slightly faster pace, hating the fact that she was lying to Sebastian, of all people. But she couldn't help it, not with how close they were getting. She couldn't help but admit she was scared, at least to herself.

Hart stopped, tensing when she felt Sebastian grab a hold of her hand and tug her towards him.

"Ye are scared, I know. I'm here though, I can take care of ye…" Hart's cheeks flushed the faintest at his words, pulling her hand away and moving to pace the room again.

She felt his eyes following her but refused to meet them, "I'm sorry," she whispered, coming to a stop in front of him. "For what?"

She opened her mouth, closed it again and opened. She looked like a fish out of water, trying to find the right words to say before closing her mouth, staring down at his hands as they held hers. "For lying to you." she said finally, already knowing that he was furrowing his brows in confusion at her words.

"What hae ye lied tae me about, Hart?" Sebastian asked quietly.

"My whole existence?" she laughed shakily, raising her eyes to meet his confused ones. "I…I haven't…I never told you everything. I was…I was going to lie to you further. I was…" her eyes dropped again, going to their joined hands.

"What hae ye nae told me?" Sebastian stood up, only leaving inches between them but obviously more interested in what Hart was saying, rather then their proximity. Hart stared at his shining armour, not wanting to look up at him.

"I'm not from here," she blurted out. She felt the tension leave Sebastian and listened to him give a chuckle, felt his hands as they came up to rest on her shoulders. "I knew 'at already. So how did ye lie tae me?" he asked lightly, amusement in his voice.

"I meant…" Hart raised her shaking hands to his armour, gripping the edge of it as she gulped. "I'm not from _here_. I'm not…I don't exist here." she whispered, eyes still trained on his armour. "What do ye mean, dinnae exist here?" Sebastian raised her chin, forcing her to look him in the eyes. He watched as she opened her mouth, nervousness and fear in her eyes before she closed her mouth again, tongue darting out briefly.

"I mean I don't belong here, in this world. To me, this is only a game I used to play and imagined being in. Where I came from…" her eyes slid away from his, a frown overtaking his face. "Where I came from, none of this exists. You're not…you're not supposed to be real." she finally whispered.

"I dinnae understand…"

"This world isn't supposed to be real." Hart pushed herself away from Sebastian, moving to pace his room again. "_None_ of this is supposed to be real!" she said, coming to a stop and glaring at the floor.

"And even if this _is_ real. I'm not supposed to be here, I'm supposed to be in my own world, where this-" she waved a hand around, "is nothing but a game. A source of entertainment!"

She wrapped her arms around herself, tears gathering in the corners of her eyes. "I wasn't supposed to be here, not again." she whispered.

She felt Sebastian move towards her, felt him as he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her to him in a hug. She closed her eyes as tears fell again, laying her head on his armour covered chest.

"Hush now, Hart. I willnae pretend tae understand, but I can see ye are scared. Ye arenae alone…there is nae need tae cry," he whispered into her hair, arms tightening around her as she cried.

He buried his face in her hair and held her, whispering words of comfort to her softly.

"Naethin' can hurt ye wi' me, Hart. I will protect ye, always."

**0-0-0-0-0-0-0**

**So…how was it? It's actually my first time putting in some Angst!Fluff, yes?**

**I tried to appease all my reviewers, the Torpor/Hart and the Sebastian/Hart.**

**I'm personally torn between the two pairings…**

**Which do you guys prefer?**

**Review?**


	10. Qunari and the Qun

**Yay, an update!**

**Have school tomorrow. This has been barrelling around in my head for a while, been up all night typing it out and watching Smallville with my uncle.**

**Never liked it, surprisingly do now.**

**Dunno why, but it inspired me. Can't remember what season or episode. All I can remember is Cleo's gone, Louis knows, Oliver is now out and Alexander knows everything.**

**Bah, I dunno.**

**Disclaimer: Nuh-uh, still don't own Dragon Age.**

**0-0-0-0-0-0-0**

It had been a few days since Hart had broke down and told him everything. Originally, he thought she was feeling guilty of something mundane, like accidentally killing someone, maybe even something from her past.

He never thought she was from another world entirely. She sounded Ferelden, maybe even Antivan sometimes when she was feeling particularly silly-he never thought to hear she traveled with the _Hero_ of Ferelden and helped him with the Blight.

He never thought she had been lying to them this whole time.

Faustine Hart Draven.

Sebastian frowned, they had come to the Wounded Coast because Hart wanted to get away from Kirkwall. He had nothing better to do, really, the Grand Cleric never told him to be here or there, he wasn't scheduled to do anything.

The main thing he was concerned with after she was finished telling him everything, was her age.

They were both puzzled by it, actually. But from what Hart had told him, she had been thrust into this world when she was eighteen, then back into her own world when she was 21. But here, now, she was twenty-four. The age she was in her world.

Puzzling.

"Princely." his eyes trailed from the sea over to Hart, only to see her on top of a rock, peering down at something on shore closest to the sea. "Is that Hawke? And…Tal-Vashoth? Is he fucking crazy? Like hell he can take on the Tal-Vashoth on with only Aveline and Varric. Bastard thinks he's tough shit…should we save him?" Hart questioned as he came up beside her.

And so it was.

Hawke was fighting the Tal-Vashoth-and failing, if you asked them-with only Varric and Aveline as his battle allies.

"Dae ye think 'at dwarf we saved asked them tae kill th' Tal-Vashoth fur th' Arishok? He seemed very adamant about it." Sebastian said, him and Hart watching as Varric let out a shout of surprise when a spear came out of no where and landed very close to him.

"Probably. We should also go down and help the idiots, right?" Hart let out a sigh, sounding as though they were doing Hawke a favour as she handed Sebastian the arrows she had and pulled out the sword and dagger she carried with her now-a-days.

Before he could stop her, Hart had jumped off the ledge they were on, sliding down the side and straight into the battle.

"Idiot!" he heard her shout as she slapped the flat of her blade on his backside.

"I'm the idiot? You just appeared out of nowhere! Crazy whore." Hawke cursed her out as they dodged and weaved around the battlefield.

Sebastian still stood on the ledge, firing his arrows and killing the ones that got to close to him, or were overpowering one of the others down on the shore. His eyes, though, were trained on Hart in worry.

He knew, from what she told him, that she'd feel guilty for killing these people, even if they deserved to die because they ambushed travellers and killed them, raiding their bodies and carriages for the things they needed.

And true to his thoughts, when the battle ended and Hawke busied himself with his usual mutterings and Aveline and Varric rested, Hart dropped to her knees slowly. But that was his last sighting of her, rather then be suicidal like Hart and jump off the ledge, he chose to go down to the trail that lead to them.

When Sebastian finally caught sight of them again, Hawke was following Hart around the area, asking her why she was grabbing their swords and lining them up where the tide wouldn't get to them.

"Because you're ignorant, I'll tell you." Hart let out a sigh when she placed the last sword in the line up. "The Qunari believe that the sword is important, that the sword and they must not be separated until death because if they lose it, they will be shamed or executed because that is the demand of the Qun. And while the Tal-Vashoth are exiled Qunari that have given up the Qun, they should still be respected." he heard Hart say.

"What do you mean, the sword is important?" Hawke furrowed his brow, their conversation obviously getting the attention of Aveline and Varric.

"I traveled with a Qunari once, he lost his sword in Ferelden. When I asked him why he was in Ferelden, he said 'To find an answer for the Arishok', which I later found meant that the Arishok asked 'What is the Blight' and sent Sten with his brethren to give an answer." Aveline looking interested as she stopped what she was doing, "But what does that have to do with the sword?" Varric asked, each of them giving Sebastian a form of acknowledgement when they saw him. "Getting to that." Hart shook her head, looking amused. "The Chantry had him locked in a cage because he killed a whole family, only a little boy survived. They didn't know the reason why, I'm guessing they didn't want to know and just wanted him dead. But I freed him, and traveled with him."

Hart let out another sigh, running a hand through her hair only to grimace when she remembered it was coated in blood.

"So we got to know each other, I asked him questions, and he told me bits and pieces but when we finally found his sword. He told me that he never expected to see it again, because to find one singular sword in a nation that's at war was an exceptional feat. He thanked me for getting his sword for him, his Asala. When I asked him about leaving, why he didn't. He told me he couldn't because he was shamed, he had lost his Asala and thus lost his soul." Hart scratched her nose as they digested what she had just told him.

"What did he do after you found his…Asala?" Hawke asked, shifting on his feet and crossing his arms, an interested expression in his eyes.

"He stayed with me," Hart said, spinning on her heel and looking at the sea.

"_Stayed_ with you? Why?" Aveline looked confused, her brows furrowing. "Don't know, I asked him. I said 'You have Asala back, you have an answer for the Arishok. Why do you stay?' but he only said that he would stay. Never gave a reason, never said anything more." Hart glanced over at Sebastian, seeing him give her an amused, exasperated look in return.

"So why do the Qunari leave the Qun then?" Varric spoke up, obviously wanting to know more.

"Because they were tired of their roles in the Qun? I don't know. They all abandon the ways of the Qun for different reasons. Maybe they were tired of a simple life lead by duty? Or they wanted to be something _more_. There are always different reasons." Hart shrugged, letting out a sigh.

"Question, did you leave the Tal-Vashoth that warned you about these guys?" Hart asked after a while of silence. "Why? He didn't attack us, why should we attack him?" Hawke snorted, arms crossed as he stared at Hart.

"I was just wondering," Hart said, giving Hawke an amused look before turning towards them fully.

"That dwarf, Javaris, asked you to kill these people, right?" Hart asked, a frown on her face.

"He promised payment in return. He said the Arishok wanted him to 'prove' himself so that he could have some kind of exploding powder," he shrugged making Hart pinch the bridge of her nose.

Hawke gave Hart an annoyed look, "You dumbass." she muttered. "Dumbass?" Hawke gritted his teeth, anger flashing in his eyes.

"Yeah, _dumb-ass_. Did you ever stop to think that he might be, I don't know, _lying_?" she snapped. "I'm sorry Princess, did I offend you by accepting?" Hawke sneered, glaring down at her.

Sebastian and Aveline both let out sighs as Hawke and Hart traded insults back and forth, Varric chortling when Hart snapped and pushed Hawke, making him stumble back with a shocked look on his face that was quickly replaced by anger.

"The fuck you do that for?" he snapped, pushing her back and watching as she stumbled and almost fell from the force. "That was for being an idiot!" Hart snapped back, a sneer on her face as they continued arguing.

"Enough!" Aveline snapped, grabbing the back of Hawke's armour and yanking him back, Sebastian moving to grab onto Hart. "You two can kill each other later. Right now, as much as I don't want to be involved in your affair right now, Hawke, we need to go to the Qunari compound and see Javaris." she added.

"Yeah, Hawke, don't you have a job to do?" Hart sneered at him, watching as he glared at her.

"You are coming with us," Aveline said as she pulled Hawke along behind her, Varric snickering when Hart let out a growl and Sebastian chuckled.

"Why am I coming with you? I already helped you with the Tal-Vashoth, why should I come to see the Arishok with you?" Hart asked, a sulk an on her face as Hawke silently gloated at her.

"Because you obviously know the Qunari, and if we did something that could upset them, I want you there to smooth it over." Aveline said. "Smooth it over, really, how? You can't _smooth_ it over, do you know how hard it is to convince a Qunari to do the opposite of what they actually _want_ to do?" Hart asked, shaking her head at them.

"You travelled with a Qunari, you'll do fine." Hawke grunted as the docks neared.

"Right, travelling with _one _will do so much good." Hart snorted, muttering to herself as the gate to the Qunari's home base showed up. She grimaced as Hawke talked to them, watching in veiled nervousness and excitement as the gate opened and tons of Qunari's doing their daily tasks were revealed.

"Put your weapon away." she hissed at Aveline and Hawke, giving them a glare when they only gave her slightly confused looks. "We're not supposed to be threatening, you idiots." she snapped, watching them as they quickly put their weapons away and scoffing at Hawke when he turned to give her a look that clearly said 'satisfied?'.

"Finally!" her eyes slide to Javaris as he came towards them, a scowl on his face. "I could only stall them for so long," he added in a hushed whisper.

"Bring your Arishok out! I want to do business with him!" he snapped at one of the Qunari's, making Hart shake her head at his disrespectful behaviour. "This idiots going to get himself killed," she mumbled, watching as Sebastian's lips tilted up in a small smile.

She watched in awe as a giant Qunari walked out from his 'house' and took a seat on the make-shift seat with the richly decorated blanket.

"Arishokost. Maaras shokra. Anaan esaam Qun." Hart blurted out, earning herself some looks from the nearby Qunari and her companions. "Was that supposed to help?" Hart heard Hawke whisper, glancing at him out of the corner of her eye. "Hopefully, I may have said it too soon." she quietly answered back.

"I have killed your Tal-Vashoth!" Javaris suddenly said, making Hawke snort and earning himself a glare from Javaris and a 'Behave for a while' look from Hart.

"Well, these guys did." Javaris jerked his thumb at them, Hart giving him an annoyed look. "Now…about the gaatlok."

"No." the Arishok eyed Hart interest, turning his eyes back to the dwarf when he spoke. "But we had a deal!" Javaris looked livid, making the Arishok scowl darkly.

Hart winced when the Arishok exploded, Javaris shrinking back towards them more before trying to convince the Arishok again. "Did he pay you already?" Hart questioned Hawke quickly, getting a faint head shake, telling her no from him.

"Talk to him, woman!" Javaris hissed at her angrily as the Arishok glared at them.

"Please, Arishok. Can you elaborate the reason why you said no? It is unusual for a deal or promise to be broken by you." Hart asked, eyes trained on the Arishok as he gazed at her coldly. "He misunderstood and fabricated his own idea to try and get the gaatlok, there was no such deal." the Arishok answered finally.

"Then we have stepped over bounds and have wronged you. Would you like the dwarf to die?" Hart mentally winced, ignoring the looks she was probably getting from the ones who didn't understand.

"No, you have killed the Tal-Vashoth. This dwarf is not worth death by your blade." the Arishok said, peering at Hart as she turned to look back at Javaris and then back at him.

"Before he is allowed to leave, Arishok, he indicated you promised that if he killed the Tal-Vashoth for you, you would trade with him for the gaatlok and promised us profits." she watched as the Arishok turned glaring eyes at Javaris.

"Is this true, dwarf? You made promises on my behalf?" he growled, standing up from his chair and glaring at Javaris. "Then you shall pay on my behalf as well!"

Hawke watched in fascination as Hart and the Arishok conversed, feeling amazement flow through him when Javaris flinched from the Arisok's anger but was grumbling and shoved coins into his hand.

"Fine. Sod it all, here's your coin. Leaving. Goodbye!" Javaris growled, stomping his way out of the Qunari compound all the while grumbling and trying to ignore the glares he was getting from the other Qunari's.

"You know the Qun?" Hart's eyes snapped back to the Arishok at his question. "A little. I travelled with a Sten od the Beresaad in Ferelden." she answered, watching his expression and ignoring Hawke as he left with Varric and Aveline in tow.

She watched the Arishok as he eyed her, "So you are the one Sten has called Kadan." he stated.

"I…he is here?" Hart felt the urge to look around the compound but resisted it and kept eye contact with the Arishok, even as the nervousness grew inside her. "He is somewhere else, at the moment." was all the Arishok said as he got off his chair.

"Panehedan," he said, turning back where he came from.

"Panehedan, Arishok." Hart said, a frown on her face as she turned around also, Sebastian falling into step beside her.

"_Alright, so you never did tell me what kadan meant. Although from the way you only call me kadan, I'm thinking it's affectionate, like calling me a sister or something. Right?" Faustine asked as she looked up at Sten._

"_Kadan means 'that which is held close to the heart'. So you are correct," Sten answered her, pulling the book away from her._

"_I was reading that!" Faustine pouted at Sten, only earning herself a faintly amused look. "You do not speak my language, so how can you read it?" he questioned her as he closed the book._

_Faustine opened her mouth to retort back, only to close it again and give him a mock glare when no answer came to her. "You never know, I could be learning from reading that," she finally said, crinkling her nose when the smoke from the fire drifted towards them and trying to wave it away with her hand._

"_That would be quite a feat, if it were true." Sten chuckled softly as Faustine made a face when the wind finally pushed the smoke away from their direction._

"_Well, you can teach me while you're here, right? We still have to go to Orzammar and find the Dalish. Who knows how long that's going to take us!" Sten eyed Faustine as she chattered on._

"_If that is your wish, I will teach you."_

"Goddamn Torpor to hell." she hissed, getting up from her and Merrill's shared bed and walking out of their room. She made her way outside silently, sitting on the steps and muttering to herself.

Hart let out a groan, burying her face in her hands.

"I should have let Javaris kill himself." she muttered, letting out a sigh and looking up into the night sky. "Who knows how long it's going to take Hawke to figure everything out now. Especially once he starts asking questions," she muttered, cradling her face in her hands.

"Talk about digging your own grave…I shouldn't have opened my mouth. Hawke is going to go berserk on me if he ever starts actually caring about his 'strays'." Hart mumbled, letting out another sigh and dropping her head onto her raised knees. "And when he does…who's gonna get hurt? Me."

She let out another sigh, letting herself slowly relax but listening to anything that could be a danger to her.

Hearing footsteps that could only belong to someone who was once in the army, it could only belong to two people she knew, Aveline or Hawke.

Raising her head and pushing her hair back so it didn't hand in her face, she was greeted with the site of a armourless Hawke making his way over to her.

"Well, isn't this a nice surprise. What brings you over here?" she drawled.

"The Arishok, you and he were talking in his language. What were you talking about, what was he saying? _How_ did you know?" he questioned, getting a small smile from her in return. "I was wondering when you were going to ask me, I was hoping it was tomorrow, not tonight." she chuckled.

"So?" Hawke raised an eyebrow at her.

Hart looked up at Hawke, at his determined look on his face and the curiosity in his eyes.

"Don't make me come clean again." she said, eyes lowered to the ground when she spoke. She missed the confused and startled look on Hawke's face at her words, missed him looking around them but heard him walk around, making her think he was going back only for her to glare at him in slight annoyance when he came back.

"Come clean about what?" he asked quietly, sitting down beside her.

"I confessed to Sebastian a few days ago, Hawke, don't make me do it again." she sighed, ignoring him and looking at the ground again.

"I have all night. Don't have all day, going to the Deep Roads in the morning, remember?" Hawke sounded amused, she felt his stare as she continued gazing at the ground. "Finally have enough to go that the expedition, do we?" she chuckled. "No, you're not changing the subject."

"So you're not going to let me go, huh?"

Hawke smirked, hand coming up and lightly tugging on her hair. "No, I'm not going to let you go. Not this time, maybe next time." he smirked at her glare.

"Tch." Hart eyed Hawke before scoffing again. "I was with the Hero of Ferelden during the Blight." she said, watching as Hawke stopped his twirling of a twig.

"What?"

"I was with Titan during the Blight. Helped him, so to speak." she said, ignoring the pain that was slowly building in her chest. "I was there with him as he gathered allies to fight the Blight, to end Loghain's rein. I was with him, every step of the way, I was _there_." Hart added, interrupting Hawke when she noticed he was going to speak. "You know that Qunari I was telling you about, the one who called me kadan? He was with us. It was just…_us_. We didn't have a name, not then, not until we left Orzammar. But no matter what, we've always been known as The Blighters because of Oghren." she smiled, sadness in her eyes.

"But…you were here, weren't you? So how could you be there, across the ocean, _involved_?" Hawke asked, a hand of his gesturing, obviously pointing to Ferelden.

"I don't know?" she shrugged, looking towards the ocean, even if they couldn't see it.

"You don't know?" Hawke turned and gave her a deadpan look.

"Yeah, I don't know. I was with him, I was with _them_ for three years. I was in Ferelden, I was in Amaranthine and then…" she let out a sigh, hands coming up and rubbing her temples. "And then I was back in my world, where none of this exits. This, everything here, it's all a game. You're nothing but a story we can play." she dropped her hands in her lap, gulping back tears as they built in her eyes.

"And now I'm back here after convincing myself that me being in Ferelden with Titan was just a dream."

"Amaranthine? Wasn't Anders part of the Wardens in Amaranthine?" Hawke asked, eyeing Hart as she distracted herself, tried not to notice the silent tears trailing down her face.

"I was there when he joined…" she whispered, feeling rather then seeing Hawke as he tensed. "What do you mean, you were there?" his voice was low, making her wince.

She let out a shaky chuckle, trying to wipe her tears away as she turned to Hawke.

"I was there with Titan in Amaranthine. Ah…Anders was in a room by himself, his Templars had all died and he was fighting Darkspawn. After that, defeating the ugly assholes and saving as many people as possible, we were going to let Anders go but then Anora showed up with other Templars and her personal guards. So Titan forced her to back off and we made him a Grey Warden." she shrugged, "Originally, he didn't want to. Hell, Nate didn't even want to." Hart suddenly smiled fondly, Hawke gazing at her silently.

"But we were a family, and we were all each other had, really." she sighed, giving Hawke a small smile.

"But yeah, I was there when he became a Grey Warden. I stayed there until they woke up, and I was there when they had their first dream, when they sensed their first Darkspawn." she got a wistful, sad look in her eyes as she looked away from him and back towards the ledge overlooking the ocean.

"You keep saying 'their',"

"Hmm?"

"You're saying 'their' not his." Hawke grinned lightly at Hart's sheepish look.

"I meant him, Nate and Oghren." she chuckled, wiping at her tears. "They were hilarious…especially together." she added, letting out a sigh and dropping her head on her knees again.

"You would have loved him back then. He wasn't as broody," she mumbled, listening as Hawke let out a sigh and wrapped an arm around her and pulled her up so she could lean against him. "So Anders is broody now?" he mused, feeling as Hart let out a quiet laugh.

"Oh, he's broody alright. He doesn't make as much jokes as he used to, and he'd hide from the Templars, not get their attention." she chuckled, making herself comfortable as Hawke chuckled.

"So he was a completely different person back then?" he asked, arm moving from her shoulders to her waist.

"Before he and Justice fused, he was completely different." she agreed. "Before he and Justice fused?" she could hear the confusion in his voice.

"You never asked him why he glowed, did you?"

"Oh God, Hawke, _really_?" Hart smacked him over the head, a scowl on her face. "Well, do you honestly expect me to question an emotionally unstable mage about the reason why he _glows_?" he scowled at her, earning himself an annoyed look from Hart. "It would have been nice if you asked him about it _after_." she shook her head at him.

"You're such an _idiot_," she groaned, face palming even as she laughed.

"Well, excuse me for feeling to uncomfortable to ask him after he stabilized himself." Hawke said dryly, even as laughter bubbled up and they shared a look, trying to contain their laughter before they both broke down laughing.

Hawke stared at Hart as their laughter died down, she being reduced to breathless giggles as he grinned.

"Hart?" Bethany's sleepy tone reached them, they both looked over towards Gamlen's house and saw her peering out of the door cautiously. "What are you two doing?" she questioned, her voice just loud enough to reach them.

"Nothing, nothing at all, Beth." Hart waved her hand as they both got up from the steps, sharing smiles.

"You're both crazy." Bethany rolled her eyes, pulling her robe closer to herself. "Go to bed before you two get sick. The Deep Roads expedition is tomorrow, remember?" she mumbled to herself as she walked back into the house, leaving the door slightly ajar for Hawke.

"Now that Beth's mentioned it, it does feel a little cold out here." Hart shook her head, rubbing her hands together.

"Mhmm…we probably should." Hawke let out a yawn, turning to Gamlen's house and starting down the stairs.

"Thank you." Hart blurted out before he could get to the bottom.

"For what?" he paused, turning back towards her. "For not freaking out, for not calling me a demon or getting mad, for being there?" Hart shrugged, looking away from him as he raised an eyebrow at her.

"Crazy stuff happens in my life on a daily basis, why should I reject you for being apart of that crazy?" he said.

"Thanks for accepting me into your crazy life then," Hart smiled at him, watching as he grinned back at her.

"If you tell anyone we had this heart to heart, I'll kill you."

Hart stared at Hawke in surprise, her eyes wide before she laughed.

"Way to ruin the moment, Hawke." she shook her head, turning and walking up the stairs to her door.

"I'm serious. No one can know we had this…_thing_," he said, placing his hand on the wall and leaning his weight on it as Hart paused, her hand on the handle of her door. He watched as Hart gave him an amused look.

"No worries there, like hell I'm going to tell anyone about this." she waved her hand, gesturing to the area.

"Oh, and Hawke?"

Hawke let out a sigh, turning his head to look at Hart as she leaned on the door frame to the house. "If you tell anyone about the talk we had, I'll make sure you'll regret ever opening your mouth and I'll make sure you'll never, _ever_ be able to take pleasure in sex with anyone again. Got it?" her grin was feral and left him feeling a little nervous as she left him for her bed that was no doubt waiting.

"Now _that_ was ruining the moment."

Hawke smiled as he made his way back to Gamlen's house.

**0-0-0-0-0-0-0**

**Just thought I'd throw in some Hawke/Hart friendship!fluff before I throw them into hell.**

**Nothing really to say…I wrote this before but Hawke was **_**way**_** to casual, and then I rewrite it and he was just too…mean. So hopefully, this is just perfect.**

**Because I want friendship!Fluff for them, but I didn't want it to be too much or too little with Hawke pretty much blowing up at her. So hopefully, I didn't make it to casual, or to emotional.**

**Ugh, I don't want to read it over. No doubt I'm only going to find something wrong and rewrite the chapter again. But you guys are waiting to long for updates, yes? So I'll post and hope it's good enough while I watch Smallville.**

**Review, please?**


	11. A Deal is Made

**I HAS UPDATED!**

**WHO'S MISSED ME?**

**Or, well, Hart and Torpor's complicated love/hate relationship? I've put in a little bit of fluff, for all you Hart/Torpor lovers, since Sebastian and Hart only have Fluffy!Friendship going on right now.**

**Enjoy the chapter!**

**|…..|**

Hart frowned, simply looking down at the letters and notes in front of her before sighing and pushing them away, ignoring the curious look Sebastian had.

Her thoughts drifted away from the work she and Sebastian were doing and to Hawke's Deep Roads mission, her frown only getting worse when she thought of Bethany down there. She let out a sigh, lying her head down on the table.

"Hawke's an idiot," she finally muttered, tired of feeling Sebastian's gaze on her.

"I told him to take Anders with him, just in case one of them get infected by Darkspawn blood, and what does the fucker do? Ignores me! Who knows what could be happening right now; Bethany could be infected as we speak and he won't know it because she's an idiot! Hell, _both_ Hawke's are idiots!" she growled, sitting up abruptly and making the chair fall to the ground.

She heard the sound of papers shuffling stop and felt Sebastian watching her as he calmly listened to her rant, eyes following her pacing.

"It just bothers the fucking _hell_ out of me that he'd simply ignore me with the words 'I won't let that happen.' when he _knows_ how Aveline's husband, Wesley, looked when he was infected." she rubbed her face, frustration written clear on her face. "It doesn't even take a lot for you to become infected either. It's like the Darkspawn blood soaks in through your skin."

"The first thing you do is clean all wounds and have them all healed, especially in the Deep Roads. You have to, and I mean _have to_, wash the blood off right after the last one dies. If it gets into your mouth, eyes or wounds, you are pretty much guarantied to carry the disease, and the choice is to either die, or find the nearest Warden and _hope_ you can survive the Joining."

She groaned, burying her face in her hands and coming to a stop.

"He's an idiot. You can't _stop_ the Darkspawn blood from infecting you, he's in the fucking _Deep Roads_ for God's sakes!" she growled, turning to face Sebastian.

"Ye sure kno' a lot about Darkspawn," he drawled, quirking an eyebrow at her. "Just the perks about living with Wardens for three years," she let out a sigh, sitting down on the floor. "How dae ye know so much, an' yet ye arenae a Warden yerself?"

Hart looked up at Sebastian, eyeing him and deciding whether or not she wanted to answer.

"He didn't want me to. Originally, it was so me and Zevran could give each other comfort when he answered his Calling. He told me he didn't want me to shorten my life, just so I could become something I already am." she huffed. "Lot of good that logic did us." she grumbled, glaring at the floor.

She knew Sebastian was rolling her words around in his head, digesting them. "So he said ye were awreddy a Warden, but he didnae want ye tae be a Warden by blood?"

Hart stopped picking at her pants. "Pretty much, yeah. I already knew what to do, who might be good Wardens, I was Titan's second in commander, the Warden-Captain. But I never went through the official Joining, even if I did know it," she let out another sigh, dropping her head into her hands.

"Did ye want tae go back?"

Hart stopped rocking back and forth slowly at his words, she knew if she wanted to that she had enough coins to go back to Amaranthine. The kleptomaniac inside her and money hogging making it plausible to buy the ticket back.

She could go back to living with her family, going back to Amaranthine meant she didn't have to stay here and watch Kirkwall go downhill and be here to see the Mage-Templar war begin. If she left, she had a chance to see Titan before he went missing.

But then she thought of everything here, and things she could possibly stop. The Mage-Templar War was unstoppable, she figured, it was bound to happen even if she managed to stop Anders.

She tried to tell Hawke to bring Anders with him, despite Anders protests. She could try steer Merrill away from blood magic and keep Marethari from dying, she could try to find the Tome of Koslun before Isabella and have the Qunari's on their way; hiding from Sten was becoming unbearable, but she thought she saw a curious look in his eyes, questioning, as though asking her why she was hiding. So she was pretty sure Sten knew who she was, but wasn't going to acknowledge her first.

She let out a sigh.

"I have things to do before I even humour the idea of going back home." she finally said, standing up and dusting the backs of her pants off.

She gave Sebastian a small, tired smile. "I should go home, it's probably dark outside and I have a meeting." she mumbled, waving as she left.

"Goodnight, Hart."

**|…..|**

When she realized Merrill had fell asleep at the table, her giant book opened in front of her, she chuckled softly, about to go over and carry her into the bedroom when she remembered that she was covered in blood from the people who tried to rob her and grimaced, placing her weapons near the fire place, ready to be cleaned.

Hart slowly took off her bloody armour, placing each piece down as carefully and quietly as she could before going over to Merrill's slumbering body and gently picking her up, moving to the bedroom and placing her on the bed.

After tucking Merrill into bed and tip-toeing back into the main room, she sat down at the table, closing Merrill's book and pushing it to the side and taking off her boots.

She padded into another room, coming back with cleaning materials and grabbing her armour.

She glanced at the mannequin and grimaced, looking back at her clean chest armour and set it down, reaching for her other armour. "It's already been, what, three months since Hawke's been in the Deep Roads? Bartrend's already betrayed them, I think, and they're currently trying to find their way out." she whispered, frowning.

When she was finished cleaning her armour and had it on the mannequin, she let out a sigh and lied her head down on her folded arms. And before she knew it, Hart was falling asleep, faintly feeling that familiar pull from Torpor as she entered the Fade.

_Hart blinked up at the ceiling, vaguely recognizing it as the Keep in Amaranthine but seeing differences, letting a small smile cross her face when it changed-although she'd never admit it, being as it was Torpor's work. _

_Usually._

_Her smile quickly went away and she was giving Sheba a cool look when she appeared over her, a grin on her face._

"_You live!" she cried out, arms shooting out and lifting her off the ground for a hug. Hart simply let her hug her, knowing if she tried to resist, the hug would only last longer simply because Sheba knew it annoyed the hell out of her._

_Hart raised an eyebrow at Torpor as he sat in the throne, simply lazing as Sheba gushed and let Hart go, saying how it had been a long time since she had saw her._

"_I was gone 14 hours, tops." she deadpanned, ignoring Sheba pouting and getting up._

"_14 hours is like 14 months here in the Fade, my Hart." Sheba cooed, wrapping her arms around Hart's shoulders with a grin on her face, nuzzling her neck. "You are very weird. Aren't you supposed to be a _desire_ demon?"_

_Sheba only pulled back from Hart, staring at her before smiling. "How can I concentrate when all I _desire_ is you_," _she crooned, smoothing Hart's hair back and rubbing their noses together._

"_You're too much. Literally."_

"_Sheba, leave my bird alone, we have things to discuss." when Sheba moved away from her reluctantly, Hart raised an eyebrow at Torpor, letting out a sigh when he beckoned her over to him._

_She stopped within arms length of him, letting out a yelp of surprise when she was suddenly yanked down and in his lap._

"_I have a proposition for you,"_

"_Does this proposition involve me in your lap, by any chance?" Hart asked dryly, watching as Torpor smirked, his hands resting on her hips lightly. "No, this is simply for my own…" he trailed off, his smirk widening at her narrowed look. "my own pleasure."_

"_I take it back, _You're_ too much. Sheba's a saint compared to you, and she's the fucking _desire_ demon," Hart shook her head, letting out a wince when Torpor grabbed a fistful of her hair, rougher-then-intended if she was reading his expression correctly, and forced her look him in the eyes. Her hands, of their own accord, immediately shoot up to try pry his hand away from her hair.  
><em>

"_It is about Bethany."_

_He felt her hands still on his own, stopping her attempt to make him let her hair go. "What about Beth?"_

"_I can help you save her," he said simply, watching her eye him suspiciously, her form still having not he waited for her response, he massaged her scalp gently, patiently waiting for her reply as Sheba poofed away. He didn't have to wait very long for a reply, and was glad at her response._

"_What's the price?"_

_He grinned at her, pulling her closer to him, centimetres apart and watched as she tried not to squirm at his look. Still proud she was able to resist him after being around them for three years years.  
><em>

"_The price, is one day."_

_He let his hand slowly slide through her silky, shoulder length hair and sat back as she dutifully stayed in his lap, even if it was reluctantly. "Just one day?" she asked slowly, that suspicious look in her eyes growing. "Just one day, anytime I want." he agreed._

_He watched the war in her eyes, the need to save Bethany from dying in the Deep Roads and the suspicious of his attentions, his trade._

_He knew it was a hard choice for her, he _knew_ which is why he said one day. Trust the powerful demon who brought her here to save an innocent life who didn't deserve to die, or decline his offer and knew she could have made a difference._

"_All I have to do is say yes, and let you do whatever you have to do so I can save Beth, and all you want is a day, anytime?"_

"_Anytime, one full day." Torpor repeated, patiently as he looked up into her face. "Whatever you want, for a whole day," she mumbled, letting out a sigh._

"_Okay, I…I'm going to _trust_ you." she frowned, glaring at him._

_He raised an eyebrow at Hart, surprised she had used the word trust on him, when she hadn't even told her companions she trusted them yet. "No tricks, I promise," he chuckled when her glare didn't lessen._

_Before Hart knew it, she was in the Deep Roads standing in front of her Wardens._

_She stopped at the thought, heartache and joy making a brief appearance before she pushed them away, her worry for Bethany increasing._

"_Wardens." she said, for once glad that Torpor flushed that voice changing potion out of her system and letting her use her actual voice. Taking a glance at a reflection surface nearby, she saw she had her braided, waist length hair back and her Warden armour on, the symbol on her chest._

"_Warden-Captain!" Destain's eyes widened at her appearance, the other Warden's turning sharply to see._

_She gave the apparent leader of the pack a frown-What was his name again?- and turned slightly, looking into a passageway that held Hawke and Bethany. "There's a girl deeper in here, she's infect and wants to become a Warden." she said, glancing back at them._

"_Are you still recruiting, or are you going to ignore me?"_

_She watched as the one with the moustache frowned, sharing a look with the others._

"_Where is she, Warden-Captain?"_

_She hide a smile as she turned and started walking towards the direction she could sense Hawke, silently thanking Torpor and praying that no one else but her Wardens could see her as she gestured for them to follow her._

_Losing Carver was bad, she knew. Finding out Bethany was tainted and having to kill her because of it, losing her and having to go home to tell Leandra that she was dead would destroy him._

_At least this was one heartache she could save him._

**|…..|**

**So what do you think?**

**I've posted chapters for **_**Virtual Love**_** up and only got, what….three reviews for three chapters? Sad. Really, really sad but not really, really. I mean, it has the most reviews, out of all my stories, so I'm happy.**

**But what I want to know is this:**

**What do you guys think so far? Of **_**Paper Sun**_**, and everything you think it stands for, that is. What do you think of, that's happened so far; what do you think of this chapter, what do you think is going to happen in future chapters?**

**What do you think of Hart and Torpor's strange relationship?**

**Fun Fact: Did you know **_**Paper Sun**_** was originally going to be about Anders?**

**Oh, and I posted ramblings and things about the stories in my profile, too.**

**Review, and tell me **_**all**_** your thoughts.**


	12. Trip Down Memory Lane

**Two thousand, something of total story time.**

**HAPPY SAINT PATRICK'S DAY, EVERYONE!~**

**Enjoy~**

**=-|!"/¸^`,\"!|-=**

_Anders could only stare down at a sad looking Faustine in silence, his eyes wide at her words as tears fell from her eyes._

"_I want to hear you say you don't care for me,"_

"_I…Faustine, I…" the words wouldn't come to him, he was stuck in the very place he didn't want to be. Choosing Faustine or Nathaniel; staring into her eyes, gorgeous blue eyes once so lively but now looking so defeated and pained, a dull blue._

_His heart ached, even as he held eye contact with her, words still failing him as he tried to think; what to do?. He dreaded when her hands fell away from him, already missing her touch and warmth as she stepped away from him because of the silence. She was staring into his eyes, a lingering question in hers and as her hand came up, looking as though she was going to touch his cheek._

_He was stunned when she slapped him, a strange mixture of disbelief, amusement and anger in her eyes as she glared at him._

"_Seriously? This is your fantasy? To be in a love triangle between me and Nate?"_

Anders cursed, shaking his head away from his memories with a scowl.

Ever since he had ran away from the Wardens after becoming one with Justice, he was able to push his feelings and thoughts of Faustine away. And then he saw Hart and looked into her eyes, and was reminded of Faustine all over again.

Hart's hair was shoulder length, unlike Faustine, who wore her hair long, waist-length and in a braid. Hart's voice was off, a little deeper then Faustine's silky smooth one, and their attitudes were different. While Hart was mostly emotionless and biting, Faustine was lively, always just _there_ and comforting; but their eyes and features were the same.

He vaguely remembered Faustine saying that there was a saying in her world about how there was someone out there in the world who looked exactly like you. He never believed it, telling her it was rubbish.

Until now.

Because, as far as he knew, Faustine was still in Amaranthine with Titan. Probably still helping him run the estate and training Wardens, finding recruits and helping rebuild.

He let out a sigh, actually glad that the clinic was absent at the moment.

He ignored Justice at the back of his mind, telling him to let go of such thoughts, even as Justice himself was going through memories he had of Faustine himself.

Contrary to what he had been telling people, he and Justice weren't totally fused together, they shared the same body, yes, but they each had their own thoughts. And besides sharing a common interest in ending the rein of the Templars, they both had feelings for Faustine.

Justice's own was much more purer then his own, seeing as Justice had no idea what he was feeling for her at the time.

Still, Hart looking so much like Faustine was making them nervous, like she was some type of magnet for their Faustine to come and see them for what they'd become.

They heard a soft voice whispering, the sound soothing and sounding like...Hart.

Speak of the devil and she shall come.

Anders turned to see Hart making her way into the clinic, a sick looking boy in her arms as his parents came in after her, softly talking to him as she cradled him close.

Hart may have been nearly emotionless most of the time, but anything cute and young brought her walls down like no other.

He instantly went to seeing what was wrong with the boy as soon as Hart put him down, reluctantly accepting her help even if Justice told him not to.

Hart may have looked like Faustine, but she wasn't anything like her, and he could live in a long ago fantasy until Hawke came back. Indulging himself in a make believe romance with the man wasn't something Justice approved of, but at least they weren't mourning Faustine anymore.

At least, not romantically.

**=-|!"/¸^`,\"!|-=**

_Her eyes were narrowed, making Merrill feel smaller then she was and nervous, like she was learning her first spell and was afraid to mess it up. Needless to say, she was an intimidating woman._

_But Merrill didn't let that deter her. She wanted to know her name and so she was going to find out, even if it meant hanging around her and trying to get to know her._

"_Hello! I'm Merrill! But you already know that, right?" she giggled nervously, butterflies in her stomach as her lips only tilted the slightest before turning around and going to back she had been doing._

_Merrill pouted. She knew it was going to be hard, but did she really have to make it harder for her to get to know her?_

"_You know, you're really good at using the bow and arrows. But I guess it's because Junar is such a good teacher, right? Or did you already know how to use them before you came here?"_

_She watched as she took an arrow and pulled the string back, taking aim before firing and hitting the target very close to the center._

_It was a while before Merrill got any response from her, only the sound of arrows hitting targets and her own chattering filling the clearing they were in._

"_Hart."_

_She blinked, wondering what heart meant when she realized it was her name. Merrill's eyes lit up, she told her, actually told her, her name!_

_She controlled the giddiness inside her as she smiled at Hart._

She remembered why she did it.

Originally, when the demons came to her, she was wary. And then the male demon told her he was only seeking the best thing for her, and so she helped them.

Merrill didn't regret it, even if Hart was broody and mean at first, it was worth it to see her start to get comfortable and trust her. While she never saw the demons again, she thought she felt their presence on Hart, and knew something was different about her.

It was like Hart could sense a mage when they were within a certain proximity of her. Her eyes would narrow or her brows would furrow as she thought, like a mage would feel and listen to another mages magic.

Other then that, nothing appeared wrong with Hart, Merrill mused.

And she was a big help, whether Hart knew it or not. Not only to her, but to the people she'd interact with, even with her personality.

She viewed Hart as a sister. An older sister she could look up to and aspire to be like. Even if Hart wasn't a mage or from this world, she was something else.

Even if on the outside Hart was nearly emotionless, biting and silent unless in a good mood-and even then, she was scowl-y! Merrill giggled- she was also honourable and kind.

Unlike most people, Hart does little things to help too. Even if it was subconsciously.

Like when she saved those kittens from that mean man who was going to simply kill them just because they were extra baggage. Or whenever they came across people in the Wounded Coast who were in danger, even being there and going against what _she_ believed in to make others happy.

Like she did with Feynriel. She could have forced him to go to the circle like she would have done, and left him there to better control his magic. And yet she took him back to her people, to Marethari simply because he wanted to.

Hart was complex, but the good kind.

**=-|!"/¸^`,\"!|-=**

"_Hey Justice," he turned to see who the cheerful voice belonged to, feeling that familiar pull in his chest when he saw Faustine. "Hello, Faustine," he nodded in greeting, shoving aside the feeling as she stopped beside him._

"_How are you liking the Keep so far? I hope no ones made you uncomfortable,"_

_He smiled, the pull at his lips still feeling foreign to him, at her question._

"_I am afraid they are more uncomfortable with me around, then I am with them," he said simply, gazing down at the training area as Faustine let out a 'hmm'._

"_They should be fine, if you're apart of my Wardens, weird and crazy is pretty much guaranteed." she giggled. "Oh! Which reminds me, I have a few things to do around the Keep, and Titan decided I was going to give you your official tour, since you didn't get to see everything yet."_

"_The thought is appreciated, Faustine, but if you are busy, I will not bother you."_

"_It's no problem, c'mon!"_

Justice didn't like Hart, simply for the fact that she looked like Faustine, and Faustine would have disapproved of what they were doing, if she knew.

He was glad, and sad she wasn't Faustine.

Being with Anders and having access to his memories let him better understand what he felt.

And the first time he realized what he felt for Faustine was love, like how the body he had inhabited had felt for his wife, he almost regretted not making Anders go back just so he could tell her he loved her.

But love was a complex thing, he learned.

It made you sad, it made you glad. Love made you feel a lot of things, and he wasn't sure he had been able to handle it.

So maybe leaving without telling her had been a good thing? Justice wasn't certain. But that feeling was coming back, or, at least, the ghost of it; every time he saw Hart he was reminded of the ghost of love he had for Faustine.

And now he was realizing he was beginning to feel the same way for this Hawke fellow.

Justice wasn't sure how he should feel about that.

**=-|!"/¸^`,\"!|-=**

Anders, she decided, was a pain in her ass.

No, it wasn't enough that he was simply existing there, he had to shift his attention from Hawke and to her, meaning she was being hounded by him because he said 'she looked like someone he knew'.

She had to bite her tongue from saying anything that would give her away. So she did the only thing she could do; she looked at him coolly, raised an eyebrow and asked him if he was going crazy, on top of being possessed.

That resulted in Anders leaving her be and sulking in his clinic with only sick patients and Justice for company.

But between finally talking to Sten and explaining to him why she wasn't in Amaranthine serving as Warden-Captain, why she was hiding by using a voice changer type potion and why she cut her hair, while helping Sebastian with his search and self-quest, it didn't leave her time to actually think about the deal she made.

And try as she might, she almost regretted taking Torpor's deal when she actually did think about it.

Almost.

Especially when she remembered what position they were in when she made the agreement. She was already dreading the day Torpor would call on their date.

Because, whether she liked it or not, she agreed to a date with him.

Now all she had to do was wait for him to call on it. But at least it wasn't slavery or anything, she could live with giving Torpor one full day in return for Bethany's life. She wasn't planning on liking it, but she could live with it.

She let out a sigh, staring up at the darkening sky and letting her mind wander, drifting on memories she'd rather not think of, but was in no mood to try block.

"_That bastard!" she cried out, pacing the room as Titan stared at the paper in hands._

_There was no mistaking the familiar handwriting on the paper, the paper that had the Crows had on them, that was signed for their deaths. "He betrayed us! That motherfucker!"_

"_That…that _liar_…" she covered her eyes with her arm, sobs threatening to break free as Titan got up from his seat to comfort her._

"_I thought he loved us…he said he _loved_ us…"_

Hart muttered angrily, waving her hand in the air as though chasing the memory away.

When she realized what Zevran had done, that his name was on the paper that had their names on it, that he was pretty much saying they were dead to him, his name was on their death warrants.

He signed the paper that cut all ties from them…

She let out a sigh, sitting up and staring down at the darkened depths of the sea.

She didn't have anyone here to distract her. Merrill was doing her thing with that mirror and Hart wanted no part in it, which was why she wasn't brooding at home. Sebastian and Sten were busy and she highly doubted anyone else was available.

And since Hawke wasn't due back until a few more days, she wasn't going to get any entertainment.

She was left only with her memories.

**=-|!"/¸^`,\"!|-=**

**It was actually fun to write the memories and their thoughts.**

**Decided to try that, since I haven't been writing in anyone's POV but Hart's own.**

**And you get a glimpse of their feelings and stuff.**

**Hopefully, this isn't as horrible as I think it is…**

**Review?**


	13. Companionship

**Little bit of Anders/Hart and Sten/Hart friendship!Fluff because, whether anyone truly realizes it. Hart **_**is **_**Faustine and Faustine knew Anders before he and Justice were joined, and she travelled with Sten.**

**ENJOY~**

* * *

><p>The first thing Hart saw when she woke up was cloth. Which made her confused, silently wondering why she was back to camping. Letting out a sigh, she closed her eyes and rubbed her temples at hearing people outside.<p>

The last thing she remembered was sitting at the docks, brooding in her memories. Then the next thing she knew…

Sten.

She smiled, letting out a soft chuckle. Sten came by, startling her and almost making her fall off the dock and into the ocean.

Her amused smile turned affectionate. He always knew where to find her, no matter where she was. It like was he had this sixth sense that told him where everyone he cared about was. Or it was instinct, she mused, running her fingers through her hair as she left the safe sanctuary of his tent.

"You're sleeping habits have not changed," her eyes shifted to the side, the only thing giving her away is her eyes, showing her happiness at seeing him.

"Habits?" she smiled after doing a sweep of the grounds, Sten dutifully following her.

"Your cuddling," his deep voice soothed her in ways she was reluctant to admit, even to herself. "Ah, so you did _share_," she hummed. "You expected otherwise?"

"No, I didn't," she chuckled.

When the intense gaze of his didn't go away, she stopped observing around them and turned to Sten.

He was much the same, still had that serious look to him. His hair still fell to his shoulders in dreads, he still retained the beard and straight, battle ready stance even as he peered at her in carefully hidden curiousness with his violet eyes. All in all, he was still the same, only…older.

As was she, Hart let out a sigh, giving him a smile. "I'll write, I haven't forgotten," she mumbled. "I never abandon my own."

And with her reassurance, Sten allowed her to leave.

But when she left, and was heading out of the Compound, she couldn't help but notice a presence that followed her after a while, a trace of curiousness and wary blending in with his song.

A certain familiar _possessed_ presence.

Hart almost wanted to turn around and scare the bastard.

It would have been funny, she knew. All she had to do was turn around, grab him, slam him against a wall and stick a dagger half an inch close to his head. It would scare him, downside was that it'd spark Justice and she'd have to deal with him in an area on the docks that _didn't_ have any people.

She could practically hear Sheba coo at her, telling her to go for it.

Bitch.

She let out a sigh, turning around and giving Anders a deadpan look in return to his startled one. A response was at the tip of her tongue, one that would give her away but she pushed it away, opting for a different one.

"Do I wait for your excuse for stalking me, or shall I make one up for you?"

There was no way for him to hide, they both knew it. His only options were to come tell her his reason, tell her a lie or run for it.

* * *

><p>"You're lonely," Anders almost wanted to wince at her words, even if it was true and she was simply stating a fact. But then he noticed something that hadn't been there before. Her eyes had softened, even if her expression didn't.<p>

If it had been normal circumstances, he would have scoffed at her and told her a complete lie. He would have turned away from her after telling her she was out of her mind in thinking he was _lonely_.

But this was not normal circumstances.

So he said nothing, only felt even more nervous by the way she eyed him. Justice was telling him to walk away, to leave, that they didn't need _her_ company since she disapproved of them so much.

Finally, she let out a sigh and gestured for him to follow him. "I suppose I may indulge you today. You can be my pup, in replacement to Seb or Merrill." she mused as he hurried to her, gratefulness filling him, over clouding Justice's displeasure.

"I am not a _pup_," he protested, glaring down at her.

Her response was an amused look in return. "Kitten, then." the slightest twitch of her lips indicated a smirk, making Justice seethe.

"We are no kitten, wench!"

Instead of being frightened or put off by Justice's sudden, low key appearance as they made their way into the forests Kirkwall, Hart seemed to take it all in stride, purposefully ignoring Justice as he stomped after her.

"If you are no kitten, nor a pup, then why do you seek company with me?"

Her question made them pause, they watched her as she ventured forth like travelling through the woods was normal as they thought. And in the end, both came to the same conclusion. Because, whether they liked it or not…

_They were lonely._

They let out a sigh, she was willing to indulge them.

And with that thought, they set off after her before she could disappear from their sight. Reluctant as Justice may be, he knew how much Anders was a people person, and that was something he couldn't change.

As Anders trailed after her, he allowed her to scavenge for whatever and merely looked around their surroundings.

He'd never been here before. Anders realized with a start, and he usually made it into his daily routines to discover all that is Kirkwall.

The trees reminded him of the forest that surrounded the Keep back in Amaranthine, he thought wistfully. He remembered vividly that Faustine would make it her duty to drag Anders around the Keep, showing him everything. Including the surrounding forest, against the Seneschel's protests.

As he gazed around them, he felt Justice stir with what was recognition and curiosity.

It made him look back at Hart, since the feelings that were stirring were _because_ of her. That's when he realized that everything she was gathering was for a healing poultice.

"Why are you gathering things for a _healing_ poultice?"

* * *

><p><em>And not relying on me, like everyone else<em>. Anders left unsaid, making Hart amused.

She sat back on her hunches and then looked up at him in amusement, taking note of the setting sun before her gaze went back to Anders.

"Some thing's shouldn't be taken for granted, no matter the ability they possess," she finally said, going back to what she was doing.

Even if she didn't want him to know who she was, that part of her who was still _Faustine_ cared for him as though he were still in her pack, a part of her family. Even if he abandoned them, he was still a puppy.

Or a kitten, she smiled secretively, much to Anders amazement.

And because of that part of her that was still Faustine, she'd protect him, no matter what.

"That should be all I need," Hart said, tilting her head back the way they came, "I believe it is time to go back before anyone worries that the shrew lured the Healer away to kill him,"

She left him in her wake, as she barely surprised her grin, heading back towards Kirkwall.

"H-Hey!"

* * *

><p><strong>Also, anyone else notice the resemblance between Anders memory in the previous chapter and Hart's memory in Chapter 6: Return to the Dalish? No? really…I made sure to make it seem familiar, just in Anders POV.<strong>

**And Ooooh, What was Hart and Sten talking about?**

**Willing to review and tell me what **_**you**_** think?**

**Review, **_**please**_**.**


	14. No Rest For The Wicked

**I think this is the longest chapter I've written for the story, right? 4,851 words in total.  
><strong>

**How long was I dead for? Like, months, correct?  
><strong>

**Anyways, this was supposed to be posted on Halloween, but then I kind of forgot about it and it was just sitting in my folder for Paper Sun since, and then I was in the writing mood and suddenly remembered this.  
><strong>

**Enjoy.  
><strong>

**-Anders, Clinic.-**

_She smiled at him. That one, the very one that held such warmth, such love and it was finally directed at him and that made him a little breathless. She sighed and leaned against him, wrapping her arms around him and simply holding him._

"_No, Anders, you're not broken, merely…bent," she chuckled at her own word, "You can love if you want to-you're not incapable of it like you think you are." she whispered, touching her forehead to his. "But I think it's a little odd that you came to me for love advice, considering my relationship consisted of a two men who thought they weren't good enough for anyone, and didn't know how to choose,"_

Anders frowned to himself, ceasing in his writing as the unwanted memory played itself in his mind. Faintly, he could feel Justice bristle at the words spoken, at the reminder of what they both gave up.

He could remember that day. Oghren and Nathaniel had been making jabs at him for loving Faustine, someone who was obviously Titan's-who'd been unattainable from day one. Especially given the fact that she declared as such. But how did she feel now, after all this time? He didn't know the answer, couldn't write to her, _afraid_ of her reaction.

_He gave a weak chuckle at that, not quite sure how her relationship worked out, only that Oghren declared both Zevran and Titan as 'lucky nug humpers' with this weirdly fond leer on his face._

He still didn't know how a leer could even seem fond…

Still, Hart's words of Hawke's arrival being tomorrow morning clung to his mind and wouldn't let go. He used to wonder how Hart seemed to know things before them, but Hart was a mysterious woman and prone to keeping secrets from everyone so he reluctantly let it slide.

It'd best he close shop and go to bed, just in case Hart was right.

**-Hawke, Deep Roads Expedition.-**

He should have listened to Hart.

Nigel could only remember how Hart had frowned at him, when he had decided he was going to take Bethany with him into the Deep Roads. He could still hear her tell him to be very careful and to keep an eye on his little sister, saying she knew what the Deeps Roads were like and to not let his guard down.

_Especially if you're going to go in so deep. No one has ever gone so far in the Deep Roads. Even the Wardens and they live to kill the evil that lurks where you're going._

He remembered being told to make sure none of the tainted blood got into open wounds, or were swallowed. _Once the taint is inside you, there's no hope. You either find the Wardens down there, or you kill the person who's dying._

Nigel suddenly wished he had listened to Hart as the Warden-Commander lead his baby sister away from him.

But he noticed certain features in the female Warden-Commander that reminded him of Hart. But the differences were startling. Whereas Hart's eyes were a harsh bright blue, the Warden-Commander's were a warm green-blue and their faces were the same shape, but they had different skin colours. While the Warden-Commander's skin was a lovely shade of tan, Hart's was a little paler, more…Nigel stood from his crouched position at the feel of Varric's hand on his shoulder.

This was no time to be making observations about two totally different women. Right now was the time to move, to leave. And so he did, ignoring Fenris' little questioning look and Varric's voiced concerns.

He wondered how he was going to tell his mother that they had lost almost lost Bethany to the Deep Roads, then saved her by having the Warden-Commander finding them. Only to lose her to the Wardens.

Nigel's jaw clenched and he silently cursed himself again, wishing he had brought Hart with him instead of Fenris, or Bethany. She would have known what to do, how to react. She had tried to give him advice, and he had foolishly brushed it all away like it was nothing.

He wondered how many other regrets he was going to have on their trip towards the surface, and what they'd have to face. How hard would they have to fight?

They'd already fought demons that shouldn't have existed, pieces of rocks that were possessed by said demons and a wide range of Darkspawn. But then again, Darkspawn were a guarantee here, so it wasn't much of a surprise.

The hardest part was just…surviving all of this.

Nigel sighed, eyes lazily roaming the area they were in and wondering how much longer they had to travel before getting back to Kirkwall. He'd never thought he'd miss the disgusting place, but miss it he did. At first glance, Kirkwall looks creepy and terrifying and it'd be correct but Kirkwall had nothing on the Deep Roads and it's many horrors.

He almost missed bickering with Hart, and going to go visit Anders in his dingy little clinic. Seeing Isabella in the Hanged Man and following Merrill and Hart around Kirkwall just to listen to Merrill chatter and Hart respond.

He almost missed Gamlen, but he definitely missed his mother.

Nigel caught sight of something from the corner of his eyes, a faint blue glow coming from up ahead. It sort of reminded him of something he had seen once, back in Ferelden but he couldn't place where, or even when he had seen it.

Jogging up to it and ignoring his comrades, he picked up the strangely glowing sword and inspected it. Two notes were delicately tied to the handle of the long sword, the first one being addressed to him and the other to Hart.

Suspiciously, Nigel untied his note and opened it.

_Hello Hawke,_

_I'm going to assume you've already run into my Faustine and she has taken Bethany to the Keep to begin her training, seeing as you've come this far. I would have stayed to talk to you properly, but I have things to do, people to kill and places to go, so I'm leaving this note with Starfang and asking you, nicely, if you'd please bring it to Hart when you return to Kirkwall._

_Seeing as Faustine is going to join me soon enough and then disappear not long after, I'd feel safer if one of my dear Ladies would have Starfang on them since I cannot be with either. And knowing that Faustine will disappear where she will be safe, and Hart will be in danger in Kirkwall, well, you can see my reason._

_I'll know if my Starfang doesn't make it's way to Hart, Hawke, have no doubt of that. And if it is not delivered, and the spell that was cast on it not activated, I will come back to Kirkwall and kill you._

_Titan, Warden-Commander._

Nigel stared at the letter before turning his gaze back to Starfang and turning it this way and that, before starting to laugh. So the woman he had run into was Faustine, the Warden-Captain. And this man was the Warden-Commander…his lips twitched in amusement.

Well, didn't Hart get even more interesting?

"What's wrong with the blade?" Varric asked, eyeing it suspiciously.

Considering it's glow, much like the Idol, Nigel could understand. "This blade, Starfang, belongs to the Warden-Commander who defeated the Blight," he answered in amusement, sheathing the sword in the case that he found beside it and tying it to his belt.

"The Warden-Commander?" Fenris' raised an eyebrow at that, the disbelief written in his eyes.

"Read this, if you don't believe me." he handed the note to Varric and only listened half heartedly as Varric read the note to himself and Fenris aloud. And by the time Varric had finished the note, Nigel had already been making his way towards where he assumed the exit to Kirkwall was and paying no attention to either of them.

"Seems as though Hart has more then a little baggage on her, huh?" he could hear the smirk in Varric's voice and wanted nothing more then to kick him.

He didn't know how Varric had come up with the notion, or if someone-more then likely Isabella-had given it to him, but he seemed to think there was more then there was between him and Hart. As in, they might as well have feelings for each other, what with all the fighting they did.

He was glad Hart agreed with him that Varric was stupid with his little idea of them.

**-Hart-**

Hart let out a sigh, leaning against a bloodied cot in Anders clinic as the child who had been sobbing finally quieted.

The child's mother stroked his hair, a weary look on her face from rushing from wherever she worked to here. But in her eyes…there was this light in them, the glow of love shining there, of determination as she stuck by the boy's side even though it was obvious that she was bone tired.

The sight reminded her of back in Amaranthine, at the Keep with everyone. How she would have stuck by anyone's side when she had been Faustine, how she would have refused to leave until she was sure that they had been okay.

How she had vowed to protect the lot of them. From anything. From themselves.

And yet here she was, running around in Kirkwall, with this brand new hero and his own companions as they try to balance the world now that the Blight was over. And she knew what was to come, knew that everything happening was inevitable and that she could only make little changes.

Changes that could hopefully work in her favour.

Hart frowned and looked away from the weary mother and child, catching Anders honey coloured eyes instead before he quickly looked away and went back to work.

Anders confused her now. Before their little bonding moment in the woods, he had been wary of her, openly hostile, and now…now it seemed like he was opening up. A little bit. Not as hostile but still wary, still suspicious. Sending her little searching looks, examining her for something.

Though it was probably more her looks then anything. Even if she did cut her hair and forced Torpor to change the colour of her eyes, she still looked like Faustine.

She was merely different and suspected that was throwing Anders off.

A smirk replaced her frown and she looked to the entrance, at how dark it was. Shadows of the less fortunate could be seen lurking, huddling around fires and sharing body heat. It was a sad site, and one she knew Justice would be sympathetic for-though in her own mind, it was more along the lines of Vengeance thinking like Justice.

If she wasn't who she was now, she would have called it heartbreak, to see them as they are now. But as she is, she was merely disappointed, sad, even-but she also knew it was their choice to share a body, to suffer in this path that Fate carved for them.

It made her wonder how she could think Anders and Justice were worth saving.

They were already walking down the path towards their ultimate destruction, with her as their shadow. So why didn't she just kill them now? It would be the easier option, the safer one-less people would _die_ in the end. Hell, maybe if they died, then the whole war here in Kirkwall would never happen.

Meredith and Orsino though…

Her frown came back at the thought of them. The both of them were a disease in this world. Meredith with her anger at the mages, at how they were. How weak they were, turning to demons and blood magic because it was 'stronger', justified anger-but was it really justified? She knew not all mages were horrible, that some of them strove to make the world a better place._ Like Wynne. Wynne was willing to die to save her charges. Willing to die for them all if the situation called for it. Even willing to die for the Templars who had made their way to her._

And Orsino…he was a hypocrite and a liar. Despite his claims that there were no blood mages in the Gallows, he was hiding them from Templar sight. If he were a smart man, he would have taken notice of them and reported to Meredith, not hide them away like a dirty secret. Like he was trying to overthrow Meredith's rule. And he was a fool for it.

_Anything with life is worth saving._ Wynne would have told her. _And yet she is not here, is she?_ Torpor would say, an amused lilt in his tone. _She is gone, far away. So who will judge you if you were to end something that is only just beginning?_

Hart gave a disgusted growl at her own thoughts, pushing herself off the wall to leave. A hand grabbing hold of her forearm stopped her from leaving the clinic and she resisted the urge to punch the mother in the face for stopping her.

Instead, she replaced her irritated expression for her blank mask and turned towards her, shoving her anger deep within herself to deal with later.

The bedraggled mother seemed unsure of herself, but none the less determined. "I just…I wanted to thank you, for saving my son." she said quietly, as though afraid of her reaction.

Hart felt slight irritation at her words, but relaxed her defensive stance to appear more open towards the mother before tilting her head in acknowledgement to her words and watching the relief and happiness flash in her eyes before Hart was let go and the mother returned to her healing child's side.

She was tempted to look over at Anders, to see his reaction. Before, he had witnessed her shrugs off any thank you's that came her way from helping someone. But she just wasn't up to baiting him today or even humouring him.

So she left him, with a simple, "I have a feeling Hawke will be back in the morning. And since he was in the Deep Roads…well, you know how rough they are."

Hart didn't want to go home, back to Merrill and her searching gaze and cheerful smile.

Sometimes the girl was too naïve. She knew it was hypocritical for her to disapprove of Merrill and her blood magic, her own demon but she was. She never knew what she was getting into when she agreed with Torpor, had done it not for herself but for…

Hart scowled and veered away from her path, towards the docks.

She turned her thoughts toward the letter she had written, and the reply she had gotten. Titan was still missing, and she had an idea where he and Naga had gone too, and Nathaniel was glad she had written.-_Even though you're here still. _She could almost imagine him chuckle, glance to the side were Faustine would be before writing again. _Things are a little strange. But then again, I'm writing a letter to you-with you only a few steps away from me, so I suppose that would be strange._

Hart let out a sigh, coming to a stop and simply lurking in the shadows. Her eyes were gazing at the ocean, at the way the moonbeams danced on the surface of dark blue water.

Thinking of home made her wistful. Everyone she loved was back in Amaranthine, and she was, whether they liked it or not, the Mistress of the castle. Household? Hart's lips twitched into an amused smile. Whatever the term was, she was the keeper of Amaranthine, and she was sorely missing home.

But Nathaniel…he was a very good leader. From his letters and from what she had managed to pry from Torpor and Sheba, the Keep was holding up very well, and the rebuilding was moving along fast.

But then again, she was there for the rebirth of Amaranthine so she knew that already.

Hart started chuckling suddenly, remember the look on Anders face when he had come to the conclusion that Faustine had belonged to Titan already. It was stupid of him, and yet not at the same time. In some way, she did belong to Titan but she didn't at the same time.

She hadn't been his lover, she hadn't even been his friend in the beginning. She could remember that for three whole months, Titan had called her Spirit until the fourth month, where they encountered the demons and blood mages in the Circle tower.

That was when their friendship began, and her life as human instead of ghost started.

That was also not long after Zevran had joined them. She could remember his attempt at humour when he saw they had placed him next to Shale, his surprise a few hours later at seeing Faustine and her brother joining them. His...

Hart scowled at herself, turning away from the ocean and beginning her trek back home to Merrill. The sun was just beginning to come up, which meant that Hawke was going to be here soon considering he was here as the sun rise into the sky. And she was sure Merrill and Anders wanted to be there for Hawke's return, if she was reading them correctly.

She pondered if she should go next door and wake Leandra, but considering the news Hawke had…well, Hart decided Leandra could stay home and be surprised, instead of having to anticipate what she assumed was both her children coming home, only to see Nigel with no Bethany.

Quietly opening the door to their little home, Hart eased the door closed and went over to their bedroom to wake Merrill. Hart was about to put her hand on Merrill's shoulder to shake her awake when she heard a very familiar chuckle come from behind her that made her tense. She slowly turned around and wished that it was just her imagination, only to scowl at the little smug looking kitten prancing into the room.

"_Why hello there, been wondering what was taking you so long."_ Sheba's voice came from the white kitten purred, stretching on the bed before coming up to rub against Hart's face in greeting.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Hart said, exasperated with Sheba as she pushed her new kitten form away from herself and glared at the innocent looking demon.

"_Torpor wanted to be with you, but he's a rather important demon so he sent me instead, since I rather like you-after all, you make my Master happy," _Sheba's green little eyes danced in delight as Hart hissed at her. "You mean Torpor wants to keep an eye on me,"

"_Well, there is that, but Torpor only wants to protect his little bird…"_

Hart turned her attention away from Sheba, intent on ignoring the desire demon even as Sheba purred and resumed rubbing up against her. "Merrill, did you want to go meet Hawke?" Hart asked, shaking her.

She wasn't as gentle as she should have been, but Hart also suspected that Merrill helped Sheba inhabit the porr kitten and thus didn't feel the least bit guilty as Merrill jolted up to Hart looming over her menacingly. Though she supposed the sight of Sheba purring and pressed against her legs kind of ruined the image as Merrill let out a sleepy giggle.

"Get up if you want to meet Hawke," she scowled, ignoring Sheba as she attached herself to her belt and crawled into a pouch she could fit into. "I'm going to go get Anders, as I'm sure he'd be estatic to know Hawke's coming back." Hart growled as she walked away, listening to Merrill's yelp and a hurried shout as Merrill scrambled to get dressed and follow her.

She took malicious glee in listening to Merrill rush around from outside the house and trip over things as she walked slowly, ignoring Sheba all the while.

She honestly didn't know how Anders felt about her tell him Hawke would be back, but it was obvious that he liked Hawke more then he liked her, so she was really only assuming things without having concrete evidence.

But hey, maybe that changed since she and Anders sort of bonded over the weeks Hawke was gone, who knew? She shook her head and ignored Merrill when she caught up to her out of breath but with a silly grin on her face.

"_What is between you and Anders, I wonder…he seems to mean something to you,"_ Sheba purred, nestling herself inside the pouch comfortably. When Hart didn't answer her and seemed set on ignoring her existence, Sheba smirked-as much as she could in this kitten form, _"What, are you not going to answer me? How sad. I'm crying little kitten tears,"_

Hart made an annoyed sound as she entered Anders clinic before going to the very back, where she knew he would be sleeping.

She hesitated a moment, feeling as though she was invading his privacy before pushing it aside in annoyance. Faustine would feel that way, but Hart was a totally different person from Faustine so she continued and shook Anders shoulder. "Hawke should be coming soon, thought I'd warn you." she said dully, simply raising an eyebrow at Anders feeble little lightning bolt he had shot-and missed.

"I'm heading over to the entrance with Merrill," she grunted, turning on her heel and ignoring how thin he looked. Especially since it wasn't hidden with his usual magi clothes.

It's his own fault, she reasoned with herself. He choose to abandon Faustine and the Wardens to merge with Justice and try to bring so called peace to Kirkwall. And it's Justice's fault for being corrupted, even though he knew it was a possibility, he still did it. And now he's nothing more then another demon, another spirit of Vengeance.

A few moments later, much like Merrill, Anders came rushing up half dressed but missing his staff. Something she was grateful for seeing as she had already taken care of any trouble that may have came their way.

She saw Anders glance down at her wiggling pouch and see Sheba, pretending she didn't see his questioning look and wanting to hurt something or someone for making her life just a little harder.

"Hello there, little guy," she heard Anders say quietly and rolled her eyes at Sheba's answering meow. "Sheba's a girl," Hart said, noticing Sheba glaring up at her. "Where'd you find a kitten?"

"Merrill found her and wanted her, but I guess she just liked me more," she said dryly, grabbing Sheba by the scruff of her neck and placing her in Anders arms, seeing how he itched to hold her.

She remembered the first time Faustine had shown Anders Sir Pounce, and how Anders had beamed at the kitten before snatching him from Faustine's grasp to coo at the little thing. "Why Sheba?" his question brought her from her thoughts and she gave him an amused side glance in return. "Because she responded to the name,"

Anders kept questioning her about Sheba, how she was able to find a kitten in this Hell when he hadn't seen any in ages. How she was taking care of her, what she was doing with her. He even gave her the same advice she had given him about Pounce, making her scoff as they watched the entrance for any sign of Hawke and the others.

She could hear Varric laughing at something and Fenris quietly snickering accompanied by Hawke's own snarly grumbles. Hart couldn't help but wonder what they found so funny in the Deep Roads, considering the fact that Bethany was with her Wardens now.

She brushed the question off, deciding it was nothing worth knowing since she already knew the important parts of this little adventure.

If they were laughing and poking fun, then that was fine. At least it meant they were getting over it already.

At any rate, was it really her business?

"So your Warden-Commander gave me a little mission to do," Hawke said conversationally, untying a long sword from his belt and tossing it at her. "He left me a note and said to give 'Starfang' to you and if I didn't, he'd come back to kill me," he added dryly and raised an eyebrow at her.

"Well, Faustine wouldn't need it, considering where she'll be going and Titan is more deadly then you can imagine, so I'm not surprised he left this for me." Hart said, unsheathing Starfang to inspect it.

In truth, Titan loved this sword. Even though Faustine had found the meteorite, he had claimed it and had one of the blacksmith at Vigil's craft it into a long sword for him.

So it say she was surprised he had left it for her was an understatement. She was floored, especially as she held Starfang in her hands.

"You had something going on with the Warden-Commander and Warden-Captain?" Varric sounded amused, the slightest bit lecherous. It made her annoyed, giving him a glare as she sheathed Starfang again. "No, there was nothing between me and Titan. He was in love with someone already, and I was in love with someone. I was one of the very few people he trusted, the same as Faustine and Alistair. Some might even say Faustine's brother," she said, a frown on her face.

"Besides, how could we be involved when it was clear that Titan was in a relationship with Alistair?" Hart relished in the looks of utter shock on everyone's faces in revealing that little tidbit.

"Titan was _gay_?" Anders sounded astounded as he stared at her and, in Sheba's case, dropped her to the ground. "You never knew your Warden-Commander was gay?" her lips twitched wickedly and watched as Anders flushed, ducking his head down.

"He was involved with the other Warden?" Hawke's brow furrowed and Hart turned her attention to him.

"He still is, but from what I know of, they both disappeared and are on personal business at the moment." she shrugged, "I don't know where or how long they're gone, but maybe Faustine would know, since she promised she'd meet up with them soon," she watched as they accepted her lies, could see Sheba come sauntering up to her to sit by her legs.

"But why did he call you his?" coming from Fenris, Hart wasn't very surprised.

"Titan and Faustine are very possessive people. Once they know you and trust you, you're family and thus theirs. So with them, it's not unusual to be called 'Mine'. If you don't believe me, you can always ask Anders, since he was one of the Warden's that was there."

When everyone was distracted and Sheba had crawled back into Hart's pouch, she snuck off and stuck to the lingering shadows.

Honestly, it was getting easier and easier to lie to them all.

Maybe it meant she didn't care as much as she thought she did, or she was distancing herself from them. Hart didn't want to know at all, so it was something she gladly avoided as much as she possibly could.

What she was really concerned about, however, was that she hadn't had a visit from Torpor since their deal. Something she was more then a little frustrated with since she had analyzed that she was more concerned _for_ Torpor, something that still nagged at her.

Torpor was a pompous jackass, so why was she concerned?

She didn't want the question answered, especially since their deal was her spending a whole day with him. On a date, doing whatever the hell he wanted.

The thought of having to work with Torpor instead of killing him made her sick, but now? Now she was used to his presence, and didn't mind his company. She didn't even care that he'd pull her from a dream randomly just to see her.

It made her wonder about her mental health, coming to at least see a powerful demon as an acquaintance, or an ally.

She dreaded the day when Torpor grew to be a friend.

**-End-**

**Still wondering if this is the longest chapter.  
><strong>

**'Cause I mostly stay in the 2,000's and this is almost 5,000. **

**Anyways.  
><strong>

**What did you think?  
><strong>


	15. These Roses

**I love Torpor, don't you guys?**

**Even if he's being all sneaky and demanding so far. But this chapter has been bugging at me because I've written in Hawke's, Hart's(and a little bit of Faustine/Hart) and Anders(with a little bit of Justice) that I've been itching to make a chapter where it's just Torpor, because previous reviews seem to adore him.  
><strong>

* * *

><p>He was aware of the situation between his bird and the others.<p>

While he may not be there as much as he would like, Sheba telling him every detail almost made up for missing important things Hart did while he was reluctantly absent from her side.

Like telling Hawke and the Chantry Brother of her time in Ferelden. Though Hawke did not know that she is in fact, Faustine, the rumoured lover to the Hero of Ferelden, Titan Tabris. And how she started to look after Anders after Hawke left for the Deep Roads with his little sister. Which was his first mistake, and one that had his bird coming to him for help.

A gleeful chuckle escaped his lips at the mere thought.

A full day spent with Hart.

He already had the female elf's cooperation with that. She would distract everyone, along with the help of Sheba, when he finally called on their deal.

His joy at the thought was short lived though, as he remembered the Chantry Brother.

He knew who she was, had put the pieces together and had yet to say anything about her. Nor had he asked her any questions, like how it was possible for her to be in two places at once and how she had transported to their world when she didn't clearly _belong_ here.

Torpor knew that when his bird wasn't with him and Sheba or Merrill, she was spending her time with the exiled prince. And the fact that he had warmed up to her, opened himself up to her when he had vowed not to open himself up again, telling her everything he wanted to tell her and slowly falling for her…it angered him. It made him want to torture the man for daring to feel anything but friendship for what was his.

Because whether she wanted to admit it or not, she did belong to him.

Had always belonged to him. She just didn't _remember_ because the magic he had used to bring her into this world had been too much, too powerful and she had lost some memories because of it. And he had also been unable to aid her in the beginning because of how much power he had used for her.

He shifted back into his human form, rolling his shoulders to try get used to having a human body after being a twisted vision the people dreamed of them as.

He wasn't going to give her up without a fight, but he wasn't there to fight for her. So he had made Sheba into a kitten to act as a…distraction. To put a wedge between his bird and Sebastian while he was gone on business. And it was working, to an extent. Because while Hart now had to look after a kitten Sheba, she was still spending time with the prince, still helping him in getting information on his dead family and coming to a decision on who he really is.

An agitated growl broke the silence of the Fade.

Torpor simply scoffed, unafraid as he stepped into a fellow demon's domain. "It will take more then a measly growl to chase me away, Gin,"

The bear before him snorted in response, shifting into her own human form. She was Antivan in looks with tattoo's travelling up and down her tall frame and he couldn't help but to think on how wrong, foolish it was for the people in the living land to think demons and spirits had no looks of their own or were too twisted to have any.

What they didn't realize was that the things they fear and believe in used to be human once.

You turn into what you are when you die, and when he had been alive, he used to be a very prideful young man. Too arrogant because he was handsome, because he was the best at whatever he choose. And his pride turned out to be his downfall. A girl had caught his attention, beautiful and fiery, dangerous and something his mother had told him time and time again to leave her alone because she had been nothing but bad news.

But like any other spoiled child, he had ignored his mothers words of caution and chased after her, had seen his family killed because of her and died at her greedy hands.

And the same went for Sheba. She had been a princess in a previous life, a woman who desired everything and needed to feel loved and wanted, who was willing to do anything to get what she wanted. No matter the costs.

And that was what happened. She had been demanding a husband, because all of her friends had been gossiping about their lives, at how happy they were, with a family. And when she did get one, she hadn't realized that he had been hired by a jilted girl to play lovesick.

She died in his hands, and he walked away because it had been claimed as an _accident_.

It made them both twisted. Which was the reason why whenever he presented himself, he was so dark, all shadows and deep, harsh lines. Why his eyes used to glow such a blood red instead of violet it is now. Just like Sheba's skin was a lavender purple, freckled with blue specks and horns on the top of her head and fangs in her mouth. Lips stained blood red.

Until Hart. Who used to be so full of happiness and innocence. Who saw the good in people who thought they were too far gone to be saved.

She made him feel something other then angry at his fate, then pride at how tricky he is. She made him feel more then he thought he was capable of. And while it also made him scared, he wanted to be with her because he needed her, because he loved her.

Torpor looked at the other demon with a smirk on his face, "I've come to collect the debt you owe me." Gin gave him an angry snarl. She hated owing anything to anybody, always wanted people to owe her because she was a demon of Sloth. But he had managed to make her owe him instead, hadn't wanted to collect it because he wanted to make her squirm. But now...

He was scared of his sudden feelings, he almost didn't want to open himself up because of his experience in his past life but for his bird, he would do anything just to be by her side.

* * *

><p><strong>...I think I kind of went all Beauty and the Beast, all of a sudden.<strong>

**But then again, Hart and Torpor are like a twisted version of Beauty and the Beast, right? Kind of. Maybe.  
><strong>

**I think so, anyways.  
><strong>

**Review?  
><strong>


	16. Cosmic Love

**Surprisingly, I'm in a writing mood.**

**And I wanted to write the beginnings to some stuff, so I did and decided to post it.  
><strong>

* * *

><p>"You have experienced the Blight." it was a statement, not a question.<p>

Hart could see the expectant look in the Arishok's eyes when she tilted her head towards him in acknowledgement. "Yes, I have," her bright blue eyes meet his violet orbs and she simply observed him for a few moments before giving him a quick smile. "The darkspawn back then were dark, twisted, mindless but oddly simple. They can spend years searching for an Old God to lead them into the next Blight, down in the dwarves tunnels."

"Apparently, they can hear or feel an Old God call to them from underneath, who have been long since corrupted after their fall from grace, can hear in their minds a voice telling them to do so and so, to fight, to retreat." she cracked her jaw, trying to think of other words to describe the darkspawn with. "But now, after everything that happened in Amaranthine, they are not as mindless as before. Now that darkspawn are drinking Warden blood, they are beginning to…come back alive, I suppose the phrase would be,"

"So they are sentient now."

Hart nodded her head in confirmation. "Yes, they can talk and feel now, instead of the normal sounds we would normally hear from them, where they did not react to anything we did to them. I have meet many darkspawn who have drunken Warden blood."

"And you have also gotten their loyalty." the Arishok's voice rumbled from beside her.

Hart's lips twitched at his words, "You don't ask many questions, do you?" she questioned softly, not expecting an answer. "It was hard won, their loyalty. But yes, eventually, I did," she could remember how hard it was, juggling the Wardens and the darkspawn the Architect would send over to converse some sort of alliance with them.

Especially as the Mother grew more desperate, more violent and sent her own darkspawn to try kill them, trap them and go after the innocent people of Amaranthine. Not to mention the Crows that were coming after she and Titan, from the various nobles that had sided with Renden Howe when he was ruler and thought he was best.

Eventually, they had to make an example of a noble, had brought every noble and farmer into the Keep and shown them what would happen to traitors who would try to bring them down.

Something she had done when Anders had been taken with Titan, Nathaniel and Alistair when they had gone to the Black Marsh, with the promise that she would get there as soon as she could.

It turned out that when she had finally gotten there, they were already waking up from being in the Fade, Justice by their side in Kristoff's body. And when they had gotten to the Baroness, she had already turned into a giant Pride demon, which made it a hell of a fight, even with Justice by their side to aid in fighting the many demons the Baroness summoned.

She shook the memories away, turning to look at the Arishok. _If you survive the events that are destined to happen, _she wanted to start out with but instead Hart chooses to say, "If the Qunari ever face darkspawn, you should hope that it is without an Archdemon walking the grounds, because the Archdemon is very powerful and deadly, which is why it's a Warden's job to end the Blight,"

He turned interested eyes on her, the one question she couldn't answer in his eyes.

She gave him another smile, this one secretive and a touch mischievous. "I'm sorry, Arishok but I cannot answer that question. Only someone who is already a Warden can ever know the Warden secrets."

He grunted at her, displeased with her answer but accepting it nonetheless.

"Now, if you will excuse me, I believe I have business to do soon," she tilted her head in respect to him before leaving his side and the Qunari compound.

She had been hoping to see Sten there, but the Arishok had requested her presence, because he had questions, they had said. They had talked not only of the Blight and the Wardens, but what had happened in Ferelden when she and Titan had freed Sten and what she did for him.

How she never let him just give up.

What she hadn't told him, however, was that she wasn't from this world.

He would have thought her an abomination, and maybe she kind of was one, since she didn't belong here. The Qun would have demanded that he kill her because she was otherworldly 'tainted' and she couldn't chance it. Telling him everything. Just like she hadn't told Sten everything.

Only a select few knew who she truly was, and those select few were the people she trusted to have her back come high hell.

Telling others that she wasn't from this world was just for fun now. There was a fear, mistrust, in their gazes after she's admitted to it and it brings her a twisted sense of security, knowing that she wouldn't have so many people relying on her and trusting her when she couldn't truly be trusted.

She was very willing to double cross any one, and having their loyalty was just something she couldn't do with. It made her feel like she needed to have morals, to choose the _right_ decision and not the hard one. It made her start to care, and that was something she couldn't let happen. Not now.

"_Well, aren't you just a ray of sunshine,"_ Sheba purred, prancing her way over to Hart.

Her eyes trailed down from the Hawke estate to the little kitten rubbing herself all over her legs. "I'm not surprised you're still alive, I am, however, surprised that the rotten children haven't caught you and taken you home with them."

"_Oh, I have my ways_," Sheba would have giggled deviously if she had been in her demon form, or her human form, but since she was a kitten, it came out more like a smug mrrow, large eyes glinting in malicious amusement.

"I have no doubt of that." Hart sighed, picking Sheba up and placing the tiny kitten on her shoulder before entering the Hawke estate.

"Hello, Bodhan, Sandul," she greeted, fondness in her eyes when she saw Sandul's face light up in recognition and Bodhan sputter helplessly, his eyes wide. "Miss Faustine!" Boodhan finally choked out, Sandul clapping his hands excitedly.

"I go by Hart here, Bodhan, since they do not know who I am," she corrected, lips twitching in amusement. "Ah, you're the one Master Hawke is always complaining about whenever you cross paths," the dwarf nodded his head, calming down from the shock.

"Boom!" Sandul exclaimed gleefully, an enchanted stone in his hands.

"Sandul is still Sandul, I see," she smiled gently, taking the stone from his grasp and slowly turning it as she inspected it. "This one appears more dangerous then the one he used back in Ferelden,"

Bodhan eyed her in a bemused manner, "You're not here for a simple visit, are you?"

Hart frowned, "No, unfortunately, I'm not. I'm here on important business," she turned back to Bodhan as Sandul wandered off deeper into the estate. "I've come here to warn you about Leandra,"

The dwarf made a distressed noise and Hart waved her hand, getting his attention before he could fret. "She's not in danger, but she will be. There is a blood mage who will arrive in Kirkwall in the next few months, maybe next year, I don't know exactly but he targets certain women who remind him of a woman he once loved. It starts out as him acting as a secret admirer and he always sends the ladies white lilies before he kidnaps them and takes them to an underground basement in Lowtown."

He nodded slowly, "And Leandra is one of his targets?"

"She is the one who resembles his lost love the most, so he saves her for last." she agreed.

"And you want me to watch out for her?" the question came out a little shaky, but she understood. He was already attached to the Hawke's just as he was attached to her and the Wardens. "Yes, because I cannot do so many things at once, I need some help and you've proven that you can keep my secrets," he looked a little pale, so Hart placed what she hoped was a reassuring hand on his shoulder. "He won't be here for a while longer, and I know you, so I know you'll be prepared long before he even sets his sights on her."

He nodded jerkily and Hart decided it was time for her to go, before any of the Hawke's came back and seen her there.

"He doesn't need more loss in his life." came Bodhan's soft statement.

"I have Bethany at the Keep in Amaranthine, Bodhan, and a surprise coming for him in the years to come." Hart said before she left.

Hart had been about to go back home while Merrill was absent and dispose of the mirror but Anders ran up to her, face serious. He seemed to take no notice that she was just leaving the market place in Hightown, something she was more grateful for then she probably should be. "Cutting it a little close, don't you think?" she almost wanted to add in _Sparkle Fingers_, but decided not to. He didn't know as much as he thought he did, and calling him by the nickname Oghren had given him would have only tipped him off.

"I want my questions answered." he glared at her.

"And I've told you that when I am finished my business, I will answer them to the best of my ability." Hart lied, giving him a blank look. She knew the questions he wanted to ask, and wondered if she should answer him truthfully, since it was about Faustine and not her.

"All I've seen you do is talk to the Qunari leader and run around sending out messages," he hissed out, agitated. "My world doesn't revolve around you, Mage. So it'd be best for you not to act like it does," she snapped back, a scowl replacing her expressionless mask. He looked startled for a moment, which she could understand. He had thought that they had bonded, that she trusted him now, that they were something more then acquaintances.

And it was a little true, but it took more then a little bonding to gain her trust, something he had not truly done back in Amaranthine but thought he did.

When she was Faustine.

She huffed, closing her eyes and taking in a deep breath before looking back at him, mask back in place. "Why aren't you following Hawke around now that he's back, huh? We both know the only reason why you stuck so close to me when he was in the Deep Roads was because you had gotten used to someone actually wanting to be in your presence while you ramble on about the _injustice_ of everything."

His shoulders slumped at her words, because they both knew it was the truth.

"I loved her." he quietly admitted, and that made her growl because she _knew_, damnit. She had known all along but had done nothing about it because she also knew what he was supposed to become.

"I'm pretty sure you don't want to have this conversation in the middle of the fucking marketplace with moronic nobles milling about, eavesdropping on every damn conversation." she snapped, silently admitting defeat as unwanted memories sprang up in her mind.

Hope made his eyes shine and she ignored it, instead grabbing a fistful of his robe and dragging him back down to Lowtown, where she knew they would have the solitary they would need for this conversation he was persisting on.

She almost felt proud of him for using such a dirty tactic on her.

Almost.

She growled again, practically tossing him into the meagre home she chose to live in with Merrill. She had tried to put off this since the first day Hawke had come back, something that had happened only a week ago. Hart didn't really want to tell Anders anything, let alone answer questions that involved back in Amaranthine where she was too foolish and naïve.

"Titan's gay?" he blurted out as soon as the door's closed and locked.

She rolled her eyes at the question, because of course he'd want clarification. "Everyone believes the lie that Faustine and Titan are together and married, do they? Simpletons." she snarled. She turned her glare from the enchanted mirror to Anders and watched him shrink back on the seat.

"Yes, he's gay. They simply let people believe they were involved because it was easier then trying to beat the truth into them. Titan loves Alistair, but he and Faustine were close because they had known each other the longest, because they trusted the other," she pinched the bridge of her nose. "Back then, it was simply easier to let people assume that they were together because of the Blight, but the truth is that Faustine was in love with the Antivan Crow they had gained loyalty from and Titan had been steadily falling for Alistair, even if he loathed to admit such a thing."

His brow was furrowed as he took in the information. No one had corrected him in his assumptions and Oghren hadn't helped dislodge the idea from his mind with his jokes. Even Nathaniel had believed the lie for a little while.

"What about Amaranthine?"

Hart sat opposite of him, feeling angry all over again at the thought of what transpired in Amaranthine and the start of everything that turn her who she is today. "Zevran, the Antivan Crow, had abandoned Faustine to go back to Antiva because he needed to 'take care of the Crow's so they could be together'," she used air quotes, anger shimmering at the memory. "But when his business was done, he never came back for her but instead just wrote her letters before the nobles started to rebel because Renden Howe wasn't in charge, but her and Titan,"

Her jaw clenched, not needing to explain anymore then that about the situation since Anders had been one of the ones to hear the conspiracy against them.

"When she had finally found the head of the conspiracy and saw the Crow contract that had been found the in noblewoman's hold, Faustine was devastated because it was Zevran's signature on the contract for their deaths. She saw his letters as lies, the love an illusion. That is why she was so hell bent on destroying any and all Crow's, to send her own message back to him in vengeance for his betrayal."

Anders looked ashen at the news, having not known the reason why she had drastically changed at the entrance of the Crow's.

"But then you came along, and Justice was there."

His expression turned amazed, surprised. "_What?"_

She turned her head, a scowl on her face. "The both of you helped her," Hart clarified for him. "You made her believe again, but she was unwilling to take another chance because of what the Antivan Crow had done to her so she had done nothing about her feelings."

Anders sputtered, "I don't _understand_…"

"What are you, a fool?" she snapped, glaring at him. "She _loved_ you, Anders. But she also loved _Justice_."

"I-I…" Anders stumbled up, almost tripping over his feet as he tried to make an exit. "I need to leave." he finally choked out, running away. Hart shook her head at him, "She lied to you because she thought she had to. She wanted to protect herself from another heartbreak." she said before he could really escape, accepting his hasty retreat and slumping in her own chair.

She had not truly lied to him. What she had said was the truth, which wasn't how she felt _now. _

Hart let out a sigh. She still had one more thing to do, and that was to see Torpor.

Sheba came out of her hair just then, an interested look in her wide eyes. "It used to be true, back then," Hart said, shrugging when Sheba jumped from her shoulder and unto the table. _"Torpor will be displeased,"_ the kitten cackled.

"The love has long since died, kitty, I see no reason to get huffy over something that would have never come to life."

**xXxXx**

_Hart wouldn't admit it, but she was secretly glad to finally see Torpor after so long. It got a little…_lonely_, to enter the Fade and not instantly see him._

_She grimaced at the thought of missing him before eyeing his appearance. Sheba had told her that the human form they took were what they looked like before they had become demons, which was something she had suspected as much. "So this is how you looked when you were alive," she said in greeting, only getting an amused smile in return. "I see Sheba has switched her loyalty," he said dryly, watching her advance lazily._

"_You can alter time, to an extent, right?" He blinked at her odd question, "To an extent, yes. It takes a lot of power to travel through time." he answered slowly, eyes narrowed on her. He watched as his bird rolled the information around in her mind before continuing. "So is it possible to keep something from happening if you go back instead of forward?"_

_His lips curved into a smile, "That is something I can do easily, yes." He already knew what she was going to ask of him, so he had already put a demon who owed him a favour on stand by, who was no doubt impatiently waiting for his orders. "So you can save Carver?"_

_He outright grinned, pleased with Hart. "I could, yes." he watched as she bite her lower lip in thought, waiting patiently for her reply. "Then I want to make another deal for his life." she tilted her head, looking into his eyes. "Name your price."_

"_A kiss." he chuckled._

_"Now you're just getting outrageous with your deals, aren't you?" there was no anger in her voice, nor was there any other denial, it was merely exasperated acceptance. It amazed him because he had expected her to mistrust him a while longer, seeing as he was a demon and she viewed demons as...not evil, exactly, but very tricky. But to see her reluctant acceptance from her after only three years...his eyes narrowed on her and delight filled him as it meant he wouldn't have to work as hard to earn her friendship, and then her heart.  
><em>

_He gave an easy shrug, smirk curling his lips. "A simple kiss is all I ask for."  
><em>

_He watched eagerly as she inched closer towards him, could see the unwanted attraction in her eyes as she nervously wet her lips before bending down to give him his requested kiss.  
><em>

_Before she could pull away, Torpor had yanked her down into his lap and nipped at her bottom lip, deepening the kiss she had tried to keep chaste when she gasped in outrage. He reveled in the taste of her, at how her frame molded to his own so sweetly as his arms wrapped around her tightly so she couldn't escape. The icing on the cake was when an she let out an unintentionally whimper and began to respond to him in kind. Torpor resisted the urge to grin into the kiss as her hands gripped his shoulders and she pressed against him harder.  
><em>

_"Your wish is my command, my bird." he murmured, eyes glinting when she wretched herself away from him.  
><em>

_"Oh my _God_," he grinned wickedly at the horror warring with lust in her eyes and counted it as a delicious win.  
><em>

* * *

><p><strong>Everyone loves to see Torpor and Hart together, so I thought, why not tease the hell out of you who want them together by having Sebastian and Torpor wanting her attention and having Hart have mixed feelings about it all, especially with Torpor?<br>**

**Also, the title actually has meaning this time, just like Torpor's chapter had meaning. But I'll let you figure out the meaning and guess about it in your reviews, and then I'll reveal what the chapter titles mean after people have given me their own theories about These Roses and Cosmic Love.**

**I am going to have _so_ much _fun_.**


	17. Wake Up: Part One

**Jeez, I don't think I've updated anything semi-regularly ever. Or for a long time. Most of my stories need to wait but Paper Sun seems to be itching to be written, like, I feel the need to write it.**

**I don't even _know_, okay? All I know is that for once, I don't have ideas for future chapters which make me stuck on the current chapter but a plan for each chapter up to Leandra's death and maybe, _maybe_, towards where Zevran and the Crow's come in. And that excites me because a lot of things happen for them between Leandra and Zevran, one of which will, hopefully, make you shocked or...something.  
><strong>

* * *

><p>She knew she was acting odd, even to herself it'd count as acting weird.<p>

Quiet, unresponsive to the jabs aimed at her from Hawke and Varric, to Sebastian's soft inquires to what was bothering her-Anders, thankfully, leaving her alone. She was blank faced and wasn't even giving Hawke any advice on how to handle the Drake's and baby dragons they were executing inside the caves that he owned with…that...what was his _name?_...Orlesian asshat. And she wasn't using her bow like usual, she was throwing herself into danger with Starfang in her grasp, where the dragons could swipe sharp claws any time and kill her if she wasn't fast enough.

All Hart could think about after she left the Fade was Torpor and that blasted kiss. She hissed at the thought, hoping the others mistook it as a hiss of pain as a Drake practically bowled her over to try and sink it's teeth into Hawke, a clawed toe catching on her leg which was quickly healed by Anders. And the worst part about the kiss was that she actually enjoyed it and responded to him, something she hadn't even done about her possible, might-not-even-exist feelings about Sebastian.

...It was the _brogue_ he had, okay?

Hart glowered down at the stone floor, trailing behind as she mentally kicked herself. What the fuck was wrong with her? Sure he was attractive when he was human, and he had a nice voice but _really_, did she _really_ have to feel attraction for a Goddamned demon of all things, to actually _feel_ something for?

She rolled her shoulders, feeling the anger bubbling up. She should have seen it coming, Hart knew as much. He was a tricky bastard and she should have known it wouldn't have just…she was about to touch her bottom lip before remembered she was covered in dragon blood and scowled, wanting nothing more then to lurk in the shadows of Kirkwall or spend her time with the Qunari in the compound.

The thing that bothered her the most about that stupid kiss was that it seemed _familiar_. As if it had happened before, when she knew for a fact that she had never kissed him before. Hadn't even known him before he brought her back here, even if he always hinted differently. Hart would have remembered being friends with a demon. And she had no memories of him, no matter how much she tried to think, where the scenario was even _possible _for the two of them to have crossed paths. It was kind of...impossible, fairy tale-ish? She didn't know what the word was.

There was, however, one thing she had gotten wrong.

He was far from a Sloth demon. And if Sheba was actually telling her the truth-like Torpor said she was-, then he was a very powerful, very old _Pride_ demon. Which means that he had lied in the Fade, where he encounters Hawke who was fighting for Feynriel.

She wonders for a second, as they leave the caves, what kind of deal he would have struck with Hawke if he had said yes. If _she_ had said yes.

But she _did_ say yes, says Torpor, so what price did she pay to come to a universe where here isn't _just_ a game but a reality? Hart frowns at the thought because she simply doesn't remember the deal, or even her encounter with Torpor or Sheba. He keeps telling her to remember, but remember _what_?

Hart brings up a hand and rubs at her forehead, blood be damned, as she feels a headache coming on. "Ye ready tae teel me whit is wrang wi' ye, ur shaa Ah bide a while mair?" Sebastian's voice interrupted her thoughts, a hand being placed on her shoulder. She turned her head to look at him before scoffing, "Nothing's wrong, per say. I'm merely…worried," she grimaced at the word, "about something." she shrugged his hand off, feeling unsettled at the fond look he was giving her.

Damnit, he's going to _expect_ the things she'd rather not do now.

Like come clean about her identity or choose the right decision and be _just_ instead of simply killing the threat and giving said threat a second _chance_.

Before, when she used to be Faustine, she had done that but look at where all those right and justified decisions had lead her too! Right into the arms of someone-a Crow, an assassin, someone who was too bad to really, truly _love_ someone with their heart- who'd sooner betray her for power or fear rather then stand and face the threats with her. Into the arms of a demon so she could try and make things _right_ for the people she's coming to learn don't really _deserve_ the happiness if they're going to be so selfish.

She sniffed in disdain, walking ahead of the group.

She didn't want to answer any questions, be they from Sebastian or Hawke, whether it was about her past in Ferelden or about her problems. Nor did she want to indulge in Varric with telling him about her heritage or any other details about herself she'd normally love to freak him out with. She didn't even want to acknowledge the deep in thought look on Anders face, especially as he rolled the new information she gave him around in his head, most likely discussing things with Justice.

She pinched the bridge of her nose and veered in the direction of the elven camp instead of back to Kirkwall with the others. Right now, she needed peace and quiet and while she didn't want to see all the dirty looks she was being given for not stopping Merrill yet and being someone so easily accepted by Marethari, she'd rather take it then have to face them all.

These feelings Torpor was dragging back up from deep inside her was feelings she didn't even have for Merrill or Sebastian, despite the fact that she actually liked the idiots.

Affection. Trust. Security. Someone she could begin to _love_, if she trusted him, let alone herself, to even attempt a try. Something she was unwilling to do, even as acquaintances was slowly turning into a twisted type of friendship now filled with sexual tension.

She nodded her greetings to the elven scouts, but didn't stay to have chit chat with them and inform them of how things were going in Kirkwall like she usually would. Hart walked right past them all and right over to the edges of the camp, ignoring everyone save for small greetings.

Hart disappears between two large boulders at the edges of the camp, near the trail to the mountain and simply lets herself plop down onto the snow. Her eyes are trained on the sky as she listens to the sounds around her to try and detect if anyone had followed her. She'd found this spot long ago, not long after she had joined the elven camp. Accidents happen, and she had fallen when trying to balance, trying to sneak and blend into her surroundings. At first, it looks like there's no entrance or exit, and she had just started to panic before noticing vines gently swaying on one end of the rocky prison.

Since then, she'd always come here to think.

Whether it be the people she knew before and how many of them died, how many wives and husbands were now widows, widowers and how many of them left behind children. Of older Wardens who would wander up to the top of the Keep and mutter their crimes, their victories and the horrors they've seen to the sky, whether the sky be darkening in storm clouds or night, whether it was bright or rainy. Of how many of her people she had to see buried, how she had listened to the screams of the civilians in Ferelden during the war at Denerim as they fought their way to the Archdemon and through many hordes of darkspawn.

How she had watched men turn into monsters, creatures reborn for nothing more then to kill, how even wicked beasts of the forest feared them.

But those thoughts weren't what she was here for. For once in her life, Hart wished dearly that she had come here to think of all those horrors, rather then think of Torpor and the situation between the two of them. Of how she wasn't as wary as she should be, at how the things she said to him and expressed were really hiding the truth deep inside. How, no matter how much she tried to tell herself other wise, she _trusted_ him. Perhaps more then she had ever trusted Zevran, someone she had once _loved_.

She ran a hand through her growing hair, feeling more calm about the admittance she wanted to. She wanted to feel angry, to feel panicked at the thought, to want to forget or something. At him, at herself.

All she could hear though, is Faustine saying, _it's about damn time_. In a gleeful voice.

**xXxXx**

Unable to really think on how and why, Hart had returned to Kirkwall and gone to the Hanged Man, basically snarling at anyone who tried to approach her as she sat in a corner. Unfortunately, Hawke and everyone else liked to hang out here, share stories and have drinks. Not to mention Varric and Isabella actually _lived_ in the sodding tavern.

Which meant that as soon as they all saw her in her little corner, they had invaded her space with no heed to any of her snarls or insults, although Anders looked a touch hesitant and Sebastian had seemed to have been on his way out before joining them for a few moments before saying his apologizes, a hand lingering on her shoulder before he left for the Chantry.

The touch unsettled her, because it reminded her of how Zevran had first started to show his..._affections_, and because it just felt _wrong_. Because it wasn't...it wasn't...Hart grimaced, it wasn't _Torpor'__s_ hand.

Hawke and Varric, being the assholes they were, sat on either sides of her and Merrill sat beside Varric, then there was Anders, Fenris and finally Isabella on the other side of Hawke. And Sheba, being the little attention whore she was, sat in the middle of the table and acted like the queen she liked to think of herself as, seeing as how everyone fawned over how _adorable_ the little bitch was.

Hart paid Sheba no mind as the little kitten _hopped_ her way over to her and jumped on to her shoulder, her favourite perch as Hart's chocolate brown hair tended to fall over her, mixing the two colors together and delighting Sheba.

She was currently nursing her drink and simply listening to them all as they laughed and talked to each other, each having their own drinks in hand.

Feeling Sheba's sandpaper tongue on her cheek made Hart twitch the slightest before tilting her head slightly to glare down at Sheba, who was currently trying to make herself seem as tiny, pathetic and adorable so she could…a little white paw batted at the air, clearly aiming for her tankard of ale. She snorted, turning her eyes to look at the half empty cup, "I'm not going to let you have any of this, so it'd best if you put the puss in boots eyes away."

Sheba let out a saddened little meow, "_But I haven't had any kind of ale to drink for almost four years,_" big, round eyes stared at the side of Hart's head pleadingly.

"Talking to the kitten now, Hart?" Hawke gave her a smirk, gaining Varric and Isabella's attention. "Watch." Hart grabbed Sheba and put her down on the table, everyone now watching as the kitten headed straight for Hart's ale before it was lifted off the table, out of Sheba's reach.

She glared, a yowl of protest escaping her lips before she tried to go after Hawke's own tankard, only to be picked up by Hart as she stood up and pushed Hawke out of the way so she could leave. Before she could go anymore brain dead from listening to their stupidity and flirting.

"I'm leaving before the little moron actually succeeds in drinking any ale," she muttered, irritated as Sheba out let another yowl before sinking her little teeth and claws in Hart's hand in the hopes of Hart letting her go. She grimaced, especially as blood started to trail down her hand from the small wounds. "Do that again, and I'll squeeze." she threatened, stepping outside the Hanged Man.

"Hello, my bird."

The voice made her stop cold, having only walked a few feet away from the Hanged Man. Wide, blue eyes stared in horror at the jet haired man standing before her, who stared back at her with intense grey orbs. The silence was broken when Hart suddenly cursed him, throwing Sheba at him and watching as he caught Sheba with an amused smirk on his infuriatingly handsome face.

"Motherfucker! How the hell…_Merrill_." Hart hissed the young elven girls name before stalking back to the Hanged Man. She threw the door open, glaring at Merrill with the duo trailing behind her with twin looks of fondness on their faces. "You brought him _here_!" she snarled down at the elf, who was simply beaming back up at her in obvious joy. "Torpor wanted to come here! After all, you two are involved." Merrill smiled, poking at Hart's stomach with a knowing look on her little face. Hart paused, closing her mouth and narrowing her eyes down at Merrill. "Involved?" she gritted her teeth, turning her head and glaring at Torpor as he simply stroked his hand along Sheba's back, the kitten purring all the while.

The two of them, she and Merrill, simply stared at each other before Hart growled.

"I can't right now." she said, breaking the silence. "Tomorrow, I'll deal with you." she glared down at the saddening elf before turning her gaze to Torpor and yanking him down to level with her, uncaring of the jealous hissing of the women and gossipers as they whispered to each other. "You better have a good explanation as to _why_ you're here, or else." she hissed, stomping out of the Hanged Man again.

This was just too much crazy right now. But God damnit, Merrill, why the Hell did she think it was a good idea to bring Torpor from the Fade. She paused. _How_ does he have a body when Sheba doesn't?

Hart muttered to herself.

She'd deal with this all after she had a few hours of sleep.

* * *

><p><strong>The title comes from another song, this one being Alicia Keys song Wake Up, and it's two parts, this first one for Hart and the other one, the next one, being Torpor which will have hints on how everything transpired. Also, no theories or anything, not even any reviews, really? Oh well, beggars can't be choosers, I suppose. And I don't like using the threat 'review or I won't update' because I'd update anyways, which makes the threat null and void.<br>**

**Review, please.  
><strong>


End file.
